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Song Lyrics Gone Horribly Wrong

With a Slight Change of Wording, I Can Ruin any Song

By Jason ProvencioPublished about a year ago 4 min read
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With so many song titles and lyrics, it’s easy to change them and make them hilarious. Photo: Pixabay

One thing that I’ve always found pretty funny was making up alternate song lyrics to popular music. I learned this from one of my closest friends when we were much younger. We’d be driving around to various places and he’d always have some sort of spin on the lyrics. Typically, they were crude and hilarious.

*Driving down the road, listening to Hand in My Pocket, by Alanis Morissette

Mike, singing in a high-pitched, girl voice, “Cuz I’ve got one hand in my *ussy, and the other one is shoved up my *ss.”

I have edited his words out of the severe respect I have for Alanis. She’s one of my top 5 favorite Canadians. She shouldn’t have to read Mike’s crass, exact words. But it was funny to hear in the moment. Hence, my love for alternate lyrics.

This made me think of other songs in which you could ruin the song lyrics fairly easily. I’m going to list some song lyrics here below and see if you find them as funny as I do. &:^)

For Those About To Rock, We Salute You. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

For Those About to Rock… We’ll call the cops on you if it’s after 10 pm.

I Chime in With a: “Haven’t You People Ever Heard of… using your goddamn turn signal?”

That’s Why They Call Me the Breeze… I’ll blow your skirt over your head.

Get a Haircut… And get that fucked-up unibrow fixed.

Why Do Birds, Suddenly Appear? Every time, You Are Near? Because they love those salty-ass McDonald’s french fries you’re shoving in your mouth.

It’s a Quarter After One, I’m All Alone… With this vi-brat-or.

Shot Through the Heart, and You’re to Blame… Alibi, or insane?

Man, I miss Kurt. Courtney, not so much. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

I feel stupid, and contagious… Slept with Courtney, how outrageous.

I Have Kissed, Honey Lips… Felt her healing, Fingertips… It burned like fire, these burning her-peesssss.

You Gotta Fight, For Your Right… To an A-BORRRRRR-TION.

I Want You… I Need You… But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna make it Facebook-official.

Lookin’ Like a Tramp, Like a Video Vamp… Devilish Kardashian, can I be your man?

Don’t Wanna Be an American Idiot… But I love Trump, so that ship has sailed.

Who Let the Dogs Out? WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? MICH…AEL VICK…

I love that GNR is back together and still rockin’. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

She’s Got a Smile, That it Seems to Me… Reminds me of porcelain, veneers.

Don’t Let the Sun, Go Down on Me… But the daughter, that’s a whole other thing.

If You Think I’m Sexy, and You Want My Body… Buy me shit like John Got-ti.

Stacey’s Mom Has Got It Going On… But she has 5 kids from four Baby-Daddies.

We Don’t Need No, Education… Said every Con-ser-va-tive Christ-ian.

When I Was, a Young Boy… My Father, Took Me Into the City… And fucking drove off without me.

You’re So Vain… You probably have a Facebook AND Insta. Snapchat too, ooh ooh oooooooh.

Willie is still out there making music and getting high. Photo by Dylan Mullins on Unsplash

On the Road Again… Going Places That I’ve Never Been… Spending $4.50 a gallon with my friends. We can’t afford to get on the road again.

Puff, the Magic Dragon, Lived By the Sea… To Hell with the rest of this song, we all know it’s about weed.

If I, Could Save Time, In a Bottle… The First Thing That I’d Like To Do… Is to get every day back, that you made, so whack… all that time, that I wasted with you.

The Power of Love, Is a Curious Thing… Make a one man weep, make it sting when he pees.

And the Cat’s in the Cradle, and the Silver Spoon… Little Boy Blue, WAIT DID THE FUCKING CAT SMOTHER THE BABY?

I Saw the Sign, and it Opened Up My Eyes… Right before I woke up and drove off the cliff.

Play That Funky Music, White-Boy… “Oh my god, Karen. You can’t just ask someone why they’re WHITE.”

Ozzy will always be going off the rails on a Crazy Train. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Crazy… But That’s How it Goes… Millions of people, watching Fox News.

Cuz We Are Living, in a Material World… Fuck you if you can’t pay two grand rent.

Sweet Home, Alabama, Where the Skies Are So Blue… Sweet Home Alabama, I might bang my cousin, too.

Movin’ to the Country, Gonna Eat a Lot of Peaches… Movin’ to the Country, I’m not talkin’ about actual peaches.

He’s the One They Call, Dr. Feelgood. He’s the One That Makes You Feel All Right… He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood. He’s gonna give you fentanyl.

And I Said, Bye-Bye Miss American Pie… Drove my Chevy to the levy, but it was as dry as Ben Shapiro’s Wife.

And it Just Makes Me Wonder, How So Many Lose, and So Few Win… Give me Capitalism to believe in.

I’ve Paid My Dues, Time after Time… I’ve done my sentence, for non-violent weed crime.

Well, I could go on for hours with this, but I’ll stop here. Now you know what it’s like when I listen to music and think of all these crazy alternate lyrics in my head. Hopefully, some of these made you laugh a bit. That’s always the goal. &:^)

70s music80s music90s musicalternativebandscelebritiesconcertplaylistpop culture
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About the Creator

Jason Provencio

78x Top Writer on Medium. I love blogging about family, politics, relationships, humor, and writing. Read my blog here! &:^)

https://medium.com/@Jason-P/membership

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