Single And Bitter On V-Day

February is arguably the worst month of the year. It’s cold, it’s snowing frequently, it's still dark most of the day, and there’s nothing that exciting going on.

But the worst part of February? Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is legitimately the worst holiday ever. Everywhere you look, on the street, on TV, or online, you see hearts, cupids, and all that cheesy sh*t. I always try to stay home and hide from it all, but I can’t hide from all the commercials and online ads for V-Day stuff. And I always end up getting bombarded by social media posts about what gifts people got from their partners, all the cute things they did together, and worst of all, the engagement announcements.

Let's be real, Valentine’s Day is a dumb holiday whether you’re single or not. It’s really just a bunch of unnecessary pressure and spending way too much money for the sake of capitalism. But for a single person, it has a way of making you feel like you’re the only single person in existence while everyone around you is in a perfect, happy relationship. And it feels like either everyone's purposely rubbing it in your face, or they forget you even exist because they're too busy being boo’d up and in love.

I really don't mean to be so bitter. It just sucks when everyone around you has what you want so badly and you don’t. Having that constant reminder that I’m single hurts; I feel so lonely and unloved, and all the hype of Valentine’s Day amplifies that pain to the point of it being unbearable.

A bit about me: I’m 30 years old, I’m demisexual (which is part of the asexual spectrum), and I’ve never been in a relationship (or been with anyone ever).

Being demisexual, I’m not attracted to anyone 99% of the time; I’ve only ever been genuinely attracted to a couple of guys in my life, and not a single one of them ever liked me back. So it’s hard not to feel like something’s wrong with me, and it’s hard to not be cynical when it comes to love, especially on Valentine’s Day.

My dislike of Valentine's Day always leaves me an emotional train wreck this time of year. And in the week or two leading up to Valentine’s Day, I manage to run the whole gamut of emotions.

Sometimes I feel like punching something. Sometimes I want to dance. Sometimes I want to eat my feelings. Sometimes I want to hurt everyone who’s ever hurt me. And sometimes I just want to sit and cry (which I did a lot of while writing this).

So I tried to make a playlist that speaks to all these different moods, and this is what I came up with:

This entire playlist is made up of rising pop singers, some of whom are friends of mine. They’re some of my go-to feel-good artists, and their music encompasses several different styles of pop music, with moods ranging from angry to sad to chill to sassy to positive (because I'm trying to not be too bitter).

So yeah, Valentine’s Day sucks. And it’ll always suck, whether I’m single or not. But while I’m still single, this playlist makes it suck a little less. Each of these songs expresses something I’m feeling perfectly, and for a little while, it’s like I’m not alone in how I feel.

If you’re single and bitter this V-Day, I feel you. And this playlist is for you. I hope it makes your day suck a little less too.

Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed this article and playlist, I’d appreciate it so much if you shared it and left a heart, a tip, and a pledge!