Relationships and Faith

Stories are the best way to understand someone else’s perspective. Storytelling allows for the discussion of difficult emotions and for the processing of life circumstances. The telling of stories also allows for the dissection of one’s current mood. To understand why one may be angry, sad, hurt, or running through an entire assortment of emotions. Stories can match any situation, and that is what makes them so effective.

This is why telling stories through music is effective. Music is the window to the soul. If I am having trouble verbally expressing the depth of my feelings, I only have to play music. Music so accurately displays how I am feeling that the lyrics to my favorite songs become intertwined with who I am. The lyrics catapult me over the top, encasing me in a two-to-four-minute zone where time does not exist. I only hear the beat and sing the lyrics.

This is why I love the way music speaks. The expression is so personal that what may be just a song to others suddenly becomes a love letter that uniquely speaks to me.

Songs That Speak to Me

1. Into Your Arms – Capital Kings

This past year and a half has been challenging. I have had to learn the hard lesson that I am not in control of anyone’s actions but my own and that terrifies me. When I first heard this song seven years ago, I liked it. However, when I took the time to listen to the lyrics recently, I was almost in tears. The song begins, “Said I’d follow you for the rest of my days. But the truth is I don’t know where I let you go and lost my way.”

Somewhere along the line, I had forgotten who I was and what life was all about. During my 10 ½ year tenure working at Regal movie theaters, the enjoyment of life was sucked out of me. I had lost my purpose, while quickly becoming a zombie who only went to work and to sleep. I was always tired, and I had to deal with relational mishaps as I had trouble relating to people due to extreme nervousness.

The cause of these issues, I would find out was anxiety. While I wanted to live a life where I was easygoing, lighthearted, and fun, anxiety had gotten a strong grip on me somewhere along the line, stirring me in the opposite direction of doubt and fear.

The next verse says “Breathing in new air. Nothing can’t compare to a new sunrise. Back where I belong in the comfort of your arms the future looks bright.” This was proof that simplifying life was the key to making it more full. During the summer of 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic was at its worst, I was forced to go outside more often because there was nothing else to do. I forgot how rejuvenating it was to be outside amongst nature. Experiencing small pleasures like sunlight, heat, and fresh air was amazing. I found my mood improving and I was more accepting that I was not totally in control of everything.

Realizing that a higher power controls my life has given me great peace and this song has been a constant reminder of that.

Relationships

2. Doubt – Twenty One Pilots

I want fulfilling, loving relationships with those I care about most. If I care about you, I will do anything for you. If my most important relationships are messed up, then I am in shambles, and nothing makes sense. In short, my relationships must be right in order for me to function.

This is exactly why this song is so important to me. I was first introduced to Twenty One Pilots and this song from the girl I now consider to be my best friend. Her telling me how she struggled with anxiety opened the door for me to understand how I struggled with the exact same thing.

The opening line pulls no punches when Tyler Joseph says, “Scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity. Scared of my own ceiling, scared I'll die of uncertainty. Fear might be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety. Don't know what's inside of me.” I could not believe the truth of these lyrics. The lyrics named what I was feeling but had never been able to put a name to. Fear and uncertainty had been major sources of stress for me, and this song became an anthem to place my discomfort.

The song’s melody and flow only add to the intensity of the lyrics. The chorus, “Don’t forget about me … Even when I doubt you” made me feel the struggle that Joseph describes even more.

3. Polarize – Twenty One Pilots

If you know anything about Twenty One Pilot’s Blurryface album, then you know the next song after "Doubt" is "Polarize." Much like "Doubt," "Polarize" describes the struggle of being a human being. Again, my best friend introduced me to this song. Again, I loved the raw emotion in it. I resonated with making mistakes, but at the same time wanting to do good. It made me feel accepted for the first time because I didn’t have to hide my imperfections and faults.

I did not have to feel shame that I was anxious, worried incessantly about social interactions, and had no idea what I wanted for my future. I felt free when I would hear the chorus come up, specifically, “Those stairs is where I be hidin’ all my problems” and “My friends and I, we got a lot of problems.”

Anytime I felt any uncomfortable emotions, I would never deal with them. I would only bury them in hopes they would disappear. Therefore, I could never name exactly how I felt, or even what I should do about those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Being introduced to this song by my best friend is the first time in my life that I truly began to put together any kind of words for the uncomfortable emotions I had been dealing with. I will always be thankful to her for that.

4. Level of Concern – Twenty One Pilots

Yes! This is another Twenty One Pilots song. Their music has meant a lot to me lately. Though this song came out around the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, I just heard the song near the end of 2022. "Level of Concern" immediately captivated my attention, and the main reason is that it brought up warm memories of my best friend.

Listening to the song, I was instantly in my feelings. I immediately understood Joseph’s fears, thus expressing his need to be reassured in his relationships. He says, “Bring down my level of concern. I need you to tell me we’re alright, tell me we’re okay.” This is precisely how I feel about missing my best friend.

She is the best person I know, and she calms me like no one else in my life. When I first heard "Level of Concern," I was shocked at how much it matched my current mood. It soothed my mind reassuring me that I would eventually hear from her. Anytime I felt down, anxious, or overwhelmed, I either listened to this song or watched the music video. It truly helped me through a time in which my emotions were in complete overdrive.