Lex Amor - ‘How can I fear What I can Scatter?’

As I sit here, thinking about all the black women in the music industry that have inspired me somehow, I can’t help but reminisce over the rollercoaster of events that have led me to where I am today. I think about how music and creativity have impacted my life in so many ways. While I ponder these thoughts, I realise that music has greatly influenced my writing abilities thus far.

I remember the first time that I had ever heard of Lex Amor.

It was the summer of 2019. As I struggled to overcome a slight rough patch, it was hard to figure out if this was one of the best or worst times I had experienced in life. I was dealing with heartbreak, sofa surfing with friends and digging out loose change from my pockets all so I could go to a poetry event here and there. After these events, my friends and I would usually have a couple of drinks with a good view. This is where we would exchange poetry, music and creative conversations. This is where I met Lex.

While the rest of the group laughed and told stories about their lives, I found myself reminiscing about my own life and how I was most definitely not looking forward to sleeping on another sofa again. I tried to bring myself back into the conversation but one of my friends had already started to notice me daydreaming. I smiled and tried to catch up with what everyone was talking about.

“Aww, Lex !” My friend says.

“ Yeah, she was at an event I went to a couple of weeks ago”, another friend replies excitedly.

My interest grew as I watched everyone's face light up as they spoke about her music.

“I love her music!” somebody says

“You should play her!” another says.

As soon as the instrumental for ‘mood’ started playing, I hear deep inhales as I watch everyone slowly shut their eyes, bodies swaying to the beat. I feel the rhythm flow perfectly with her soft calm voice and it gives me goosebumps. I whisper the words, ‘thank you’ under my breath because it was at that moment when I heard it. That's when I felt what they all felt.

“You should listen to 'Oddboy' first floor too! She features in it” they continued and I was obsessed.

"La La di da da da da" the melody rings in my head.

I remember making my way back to my friends with her songs on replay in my mind, her voice wouldn’t leave me. I "found my place" and yes it brought me so much joy!

That same night I listened to 'Mood' again repeatedly in amazement, taking in every lyric. I let the beat travel through my body leaving chills as I let it take me to a place where my problems no longer existed. I sang in conversation with her...

‘I, I can't come here and die, I can't come here and lose it, Got all this shit on my mind’

...Eyes closed her voice captivates me, as I start to think of all the things that were on my mind willing me to give up hope, but these thoughts will never win.

She then asks 'Like what the fuck I’mma do? Work ain’t paid me in time' and parts of me drowned every time I let those words sink in because every day for me at that moment was equivalent to that bar.

She honestly spoke about everything that I was feeling, all the frustration and excitement, all in one song. This reminded me that although I was an unemployed, homeless, depressed writer and 02 had literally just cut off my line, it was all going to get better. It hurt to be reminded of those things; nevertheless, it was probably the first time I had genuinely acknowledged that I wasn’t okay. The first time I realised that the hole I felt I was in was affecting me, the first time that I wanted more for myself and it was nice listening to someone I could relate to. Someone like me. It gave me another lease on life and that's why I personally believe music by Black women can be so relevant to young women growing up.

I then went on to discover a whole collection of all things Lex which her voice would bring to life. It gradually became a routine for me to listen to her. I would listen to her on my way to hopeless interviews, after another let down from my partner, on my way to my first writing project and especially on my worst days when I needed to cry. I would also listen to her when I was in such good moods all I could do was smile. I went on a journey with her and she was literally there, through it all, putting my feelings into melodic vibes. It was almost as if I was listening to myself speak, holding on to something while I manifested myself into the person I wanted to be. Not losing hope because all would be well and ‘ I ain’t come here to go’.

‘Dream! Dream!’ I scream as loud as I can while I dreamt of performing poetry, having a home, a job and writing amazing projects.

(Exhales)

Since my discovery of Lex, life has changed so much for me. I woke up this morning in my warm bed, I edited my amazing essay, while I drank my favourite lemon and honey tea. I have worked on so many projects with some very talented people and I appreciate every single one because I have never been more motivated to share my creativity with the world.

Lex has taught me how to be vulnerable with my writing in ways that I had never felt possible. She has shown me how important it is to use my creativity to speak my truth as that is what is mostly felt by the world. Through Lex, I have seen what it means to be a fearless woman and to never feel afraid to ask for what is already mine. Although I still have many goals to achieve, her lyrics are always a constant reminder of why I should keep going. I must say, watching her grow as an artist has been the most inspirational thing for me. My most captivating moment would be her recent appearance on COLORS where we were blessed with a passionate performance of 'Odogwu' off her latest album.

As I continue to blossom into the writer of my dreams, the now verified, North London rapper, poet, lyricist and radio host has brought to us yet another amazing project to vibe to 'Government Tropicana'. I am proud to say this has become another one of her albums added to my lists of obsessions! I love Lofi, I love soul, I love garage, I love boom-bap and Amor never disappoints.

We hear a combination of these sounds flow through her music as she reflects on her lived experience of being a black female creative in the UK. With 'Government Tropicana', we are blessed with the opportunity to travel with Lex through a series of intimate conversations, which impacted her life up until this point. She has a meditating way of expressing her childhood, while she takes us on the journey as she elevates into success. If I had to choose my favourites on her album... they would be 'Plant Your Feet’, 'Bones' and 'Moesh' as these songs, in particular, resonate with me. Each song in its own way took me back to places that I forgot were parts of me and let me step into new ones. The instrumentals, collaborations, poetry and her mellow voice is a potion worth taking.

This album is not just music, it the narrative, it's the struggle, it's the hustle, it’s the message, it's London, it's love.

Lex Love, an inspiration to my creativity! Taking real-life issues of a black female creative in the UK and using it to manifest success with so much elegance. I can honestly say Lex Amor is a true embodiment of a Peng black girl. Her independence, musical and poetical abilities make her the next hottest UK female artist to look out for in the game.