How BTS' "ON" has helped me keep sane during 2020

On February 5th, 2020, I booked tickets to see BTS live.

The most popular musical group in the world right now were set to perform at the Rogers Centre in Toronto, Ontario on May 30th. After viewing their sensational live performances an incredibly unhealthy amount of times on numerous devices, it was going to be my first time watching them in real life on a massive stage surrounded by my fellow ARMYs.

I immediately tweeted out my success at nabbing tickets and (quite possibly, clairvoyantly?) mentioned hiding out in an underground bunker until the month of the concert:

Side note: is it painful to think back to my sweet, summer child days of this past winter? Well, I can feel my melancholic heart beating in the pit of my stomach right now, if that answers the question.

Sixteen days after booking the tickets, the group's insanely anticipated new album Map of the Soul: 7 released and with it, the track "ON" was unleashed unto the world. The single's Kinetic Manifesto Film was uploaded on the day of release and worked as "an expression that best depicts the concept of the lead single.”

I had no idea what to expect from the video and from the moment the steadfast drummers began their synchronized routine, I was mesmerized. When my role model Jimin entered the frame and began the vocals with "I can't understand what people are sayin'" all my senses became transfixed on the screen and remained that way for its five minute running time.

BTS then appeared on a special The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to showcase their combined hilarity along with performing the song for the first time at Grand Central Terminal in New York City. The performance's epic scale introduced newer audiences to the talented crew's intricate choreography and brutal charisma the Boys bring to every single one of their productions...

... It also worked to hype up those who were already eager to see them in their upcoming tour. I thought to myself at the time "alright, the phenomenal spectacle that this Fallon performance was combined with the precision of the choreography introduced in the Kinematic Manifesto Film - Inigo Montoya would not fault me for saying it would be inconceivable to imagine just how remarkable this performance will look like at the Rogers Centre in May."

Only three more months to go!

The official music video released a few days following the Fallon appearance. I honestly have no idea how we managed to stay afloat with all this new content being released within the same week but I can assure you that MoTS: 7 was on perpetual repeat during my awakened hours with "ON" leading the pack.

The Map of The Soul: 7 tour was originally slated to begin on April 11th in Seoul. On February 27th, it was announced that all four South Korean shows were canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

On March 23rd, the province of Ontario ordered a mandatory shut down of all non-essential workplaces. As the horrors of the novel coronavirus became more known and numbers kept rising, I realized that the Toronto concert would certainly (and rightfully) not be happening.

On March 26th, the group postponed all 18 shows in North America and by the end of April, it was announced that the entire world tour would ultimately be postponed.

Now I do believe some sentiments should go without saying: the health and safety of the group, crew and thousands of potential concertgoers are of paramount importance. There are indisputably countless other concerns to spend your energy on and a concert barely scratches the surface of these issues.

It is also entirely okay to be incredibly disappointed when an event you've been thoroughly anticipating is postponed for the foreseeable future. In the grand scheme of humanity, it doesn't mean much but to you, as a person, its significance is astronomical. Although I knew the postponement was imminent, it didn't soften the blow any less. Everyone has their way of coping with their own respective crushing misfortune. How I typically handle it is I allow myself to become emotional, angry and despondent at whatever has transpired. Whether it be I didn't get the job, I lost something of great value or a live performance of my favourite band was postponed for nobody-can-possibly-predict-how-long, I give myself a day to be selfish and purge all the negativity I have built up.

After a solid week (I had a lot to purge), I got myself under control and immediately played the Kinematic Manifesto video for "ON" with the volume on full blast.

As experienced in virtually every BTS track, under the remarkably catchy instrumentals and impressive footwork lays an intense exploration of a wide array of various themes weaved throughout the respective album. Natalie Morin wrote a fantastic write-up for Refinery on what the lyrics of "ON" meant for the thriving septet.

What "ON" represents for me is the idea of perseverance. I remain incredibly fortunate that I was able to stay safe at home while COVID numbers in Toronto continually rose. While it is crucial to appreciate and understand just how lucky you are to be in the position you are in, the looming threat of a deadly global pandemic remains present regardless how much you try to close yourself off to the outside world.

Within the hallowed halls of my tiny selfish head space, the underlying stresses do get to me and the feeling of being overwhelmed is constant. Whether it be worried for the health of your loved ones or your financial situation, there has to be a method or an avenue you can rely on to bring yourself back to Earth and calm the invasive nerves plaguing every facet of your existence.

BTS has been this avenue for me. Their discography transcends the traditional "pop-y love" genre typically associated with such musical groups and their message of striving to love yourself above all else is universal.

When listening to "ON", I am hypnotized by its unapologetic aggressiveness. I become inebriated on the movements of each member and their unrelenting ability in causing my jaw to remain in a perpetual state of "dropped." The declaration "can't hold me down 'cause you know I'm a fighter" and Jungkook's delivery of "my everything, my blood and tears. Got no fears I'm singing OHOHOAAAAA" in an octave that didn't exist until he made it so all contributed to me focusing on what I had to look forward to rather than dwelling on what was lost.

I finally started more at-home workouts I previously neglected for whatever reason; there was either not enough time or I was too tired following work. I continue working on my internal confidence which BTS has been a colossal inspiration for and I know that when the world hopefully reaches a point where health takes precedence over everything else, BTS will return and I will definitely (probably) have a BTS Light Stick surgically embedded onto my grasp for maximum control.

... I'd be remiss if I didn't mention arguably the most vital contribution made from this entire journey: "ON" gave us a God tier Park Jimin body roll and for that, I am eternally grateful.

The entire album is on Spotify and even if you've never heard any song from BTS in your entire life, I'd highly recommend giving it a listen. I guarantee you are bound to become enamored with at least one of their singles because their genre defiance truly knows no bounds:

My three personal favourites (besides "ON") include "Friends", "UGH!" and "Filter." Keep in mind: trying to pick out any number of favourite BTS songs (besides all of them) is a painstaking endeavour and choosing the above named tracks took me way longer than I care to admit.