Good Deeds in F# Major

It's time. It was an idea at first now I have reached this moment. I've colored it with sound and silence.

I anticipate what I am. Have I always been a sight-reader? I rarely sat and digested each measure in my life. I looked into the future, never appreciating nor living the present.

My ego(musician)use to tensed the strings of my body(instrument), expressing various emotions(notes), hoping to hear what I imagined. I sought the Oasis, though hardly found it.

The environment excites me when every single part of me starts figuring out all these lovely notes. My soul(score) stresses and calms by such complexity. I've seen the destination though the only way to feel each sound is by playing it along with others.

What I imagine usually surpasses what I subsequently experience in reality. My ego(musician) never enjoys what I find, what I am, and where I am because it's always waiting for something from the outside to happen, something that it cannot be because it is only a projection. My mind takes a considerable effort to live the magic in something that it does not have.

When my instrument resonates with my mission, gratitude becomes an act of resolving and completing a journey on my way. My body(instrument) becomes taut and instantly excessively relaxed. A sensation of ecstasy floods my body due to the adrenaline, endorphin, and dopamine secreted in the effort to make everything go perfect. I blissfully live the magic. All the passages join, and the patterns sync. Suddenly I understand things, connect the information with others, the wonder of discovering myself, seeing the signs arise, and joy gives meaning to the act in the face of the unknown. A musical movement comes to the end of its phrase.

As this emotion repeats, it becomes a pattern that slowly loses its magic. Or even worse, it becomes a duty. The excitement of playing the same note does not fill in the silence.

It slowly destroys this emotion due to my expectations. I either create a pre-established idea of ​​what should happen or, on the other hand, originate the idea that something must happen even though I don't know what it is.

I used to sight-read my life, imagining the idyllic setting of how everything should be. I would wake up thinking that I had to perform an act of kindness. Deep inside, I just wanted to feel good about myself—a perfect example of an unconscious act of Gratitude, Kindness & Generosity. I have to admit I performed many of these "good deeds" on purpose.

I now let things flow, I let myself go, and practice without preconceived ideas. And yet, I fall into the despair and desolation of nonsense. I begin to believe no one cares. That is not even worth writing this? Spontaneous acts are not going to change anything or anyone. Why should it? What is the logic? Should there be any?

However, behind it, there is something that I'm not seeing. And it is that behind this uneasiness, there is the perseverance, a set of beliefs, a pattern, a pulse.

My heart is the metronome to all possible emotions. It runs unconditionally, and its habit makes magic possible.

Sometimes, it is necessary to understand that great things are achieved in small steps, that the most wondrous magic lies in the simplest acts. The mechanics and set of patterns played unconsciously become a trap. But, from consciousness, it becomes a musical movement, a heartbeat. I quiet my mind, inspire and observe my daily practices. Instead of turning them into a routine, I turn them into a set of beliefs and make those conscious. The constant act becomes consistent.

When the music lacks soul, you must be compassionate. It grows at its tempo. I live every note and every measure at that moment. The maestro hears and adjusts my being to the big picture. A score that emerges from silence, expending all its energy, dies before it even seems to arise, hoping to become a sudden beautiful piece. It's a balancing act.

I must not be patient because it implies expectation. It says that doing what I do is waiting for something to happen one day and create change.

I live in the moment, honor my well-trodden path and build a fruitful future. One day at a time, one step at a time, with no expectations of what is to come. The proceeding notes on my score are written with the current ones. I stop looking at the horizon and begin contemplating what I am now. I become aware of the minimum acts I repeat daily and recognize them as my metronome. Every time I wake up and open my eyes is one pulse, and when I go to sleep, the second returns me to silence.

A small act of kindness fills a day, a year, then an entire life full of it—a heartbeat. A tiny grain soon becomes a mountain, not a style of life, but a form of it.

Wisdom is not found in the epiphanies of seconds of burst but in the constant practice of minimal and insignificant daily acts, which build at its most simple level to understand how this Great Symphony surrounds and composes every one of us. If you become aware of these acts, you will become a sage without expecting this epiphany that already lives in you every day.

In our lives, if we make the repetitive acts of our daily life conscious as the heartbeat of our being expanding throughout the world, we will be like that drop of water that extends and harmonize the whole Symphony until it comes back to rest.

Sometimes it feels that my biggest mistakes are expecting more than what I live daily. Then I remember that my mistakes are the ones that got me here.

By wandering and being, the only thing you should hope to find is yourself. The rest will come alone.

I go from Expectation to Action.

Close your two eyes, play by ear. Those that look outside will see that everything they imagine finding out there was a product of their interior, and it already lives in them. Don't expect to be tomorrow what you can be today.

I don't give back gratitude, kindness, or generosity. These gifts are the ones that give me back the opportunity to experience them every day and night.

The time we have all been waiting for has come. Make your act a form of life.

This year, with the Nextdoor app's help, I spend my time seeding, connecting, and helping communities in Chicago and soon globally. Let's work together and get back up.