Fuck You In Particular, Valentines Day.

Its a Sunday night bar pushing closing time, a bitter reminder of the inevitability of the blizzard outside. Spilled throughout the joint is a wide spectrum of Valentines playing out. A dry-humping couple; a young man with a rose in his breast pocket, frown on his face; singles, floating in the sea of the dance floor grab hold to each other like life preservers.

Whether heart-shaped decor sinks your Titanic or builds your Atlantis. Valentine's day is unavoidable.

It's the worst day to be single, or so thinks the man sitting at the bar with crushed cans and empty shot glasses beside him. A woman raises her voice by the pool table, everyone watches as she proceeds to throw a phone at her date's head. Another iceberg in the sea of love. Breast Pocket Rose seethes with jealousy as Mrs. Emotional Dependency grabs her coat and charges out the bar door.

Her asshole boyfriend in pursuit: "Cynthia! She's my friend!" Red and purple light from the bar spilling out into the snow as it falls like rose pedals.

"Don't forget, couples always look happier than they are." The bartender says to the man with the Rose.

But that is love, everyone is dazed from the false dream of the Zales commercial; Love is not in gifts or social statements of unity. It is in the moments lived together. Grit is the true gift of love, perseverance through hardship is how a gem is formed. Something that only comes with time...But don't tell that to the drunk couple staring at each other by the jukebox. This bar and its examples of love in all its stages is such a beautiful thing...

But hell, don't listen to me...I'm going through a Divorce. "Another Coors Light w/lime & tequila, please." Ole Rosy Pockets over there winces at my order.

Since I was a kid Valentine's day always combined with Presidents day for a birthday super weekend. Undoubtedly an amazing thing while in a relationship. But since the D-word dropped the super weekend has become an annual nightmare; riding down the Tunnel of love, rusty and broken long after the amusement park has been condemned...I digress.

The only way to cope is to take over a bar's jukebox and watch as love's most controversial day comes to an end.

This playlist is a journey of stories inspired by Valentine's barflies.

1. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

"Well something's lost, but something's gained In living every day."

The bipolar reality of love. One day it's an elysian dream and the next a sorrowful pit. The ups and the downs, the rollercoaster is what makes the ride worth it. But when the ride ends, which it always does be it death or dead-end, how will you view love?

If love is the juice that makes the squeeze of life, then to not know love is to not know life. On the far side of a heartthrob, when love's illusion fades to reality you are left with a gift. A whole view of the passing clouds that come in living each day, a new understanding of the human experience. 

On a stool in the lonely end of the bar, a woman sways as she wraps her hair in a bun her face recently wiped of makeup. The song brings peace for even just a passing moment. We've all felt like Joni Mitchell, lost in a world covered in clouds. The storm systems of heartache. 'Both Sides Now' reminds us that there is beauty in misery, just as the weather rolls in and rolls away sadness pulls the curtains back on life's illusions. But that is where life's most beautiful moments exist.

2. Love's The Last to Know - Bob Seger

"So we stand alone. And we act so strong. We're all such worldly souls. Then we find one day. That we've lost our way."

Love is a connection, a moment in time that binds two souls. Timing is the number one killer of any relationship. Emotional, mental, or spiritual timing is just important as that of a lifestyle. The trouble that so many people find in relationships is an improper balance of needs when ideals and illusions fade.

In a relationship between two people, there are three identities, each person and the relationship itself. The balance of all three must be acquired or the whole structure is at risk, each entity depending on the other. That takes an incredible foundation. As time wears on cracks become fractures and eventually it all tumbles. Maintain your foundations. Time changes everyone and sometimes those changes are too extreme to bridge.

Unfortunately, love can keep us in patterns we've outgrown, knowing when it is time to walk away is important for all parts of a relationship.

3. Valentine's Day - Bruce Springsteen

"So hold me close honey say you're forever mine and tell me you'll be my lonely valentine"

Bob Seger was preaching from the jukebox, convincing us to break up in order to find our way when Cynthia and the cell phone guy came back into the bar. Coatless and cold he charged back in, but there was a smile on his face that got bigger as he checked out. Cynthia was waiting and blushing, it was clear the drama in the snow had produced something greater.

A confession of love I assumed as I watched her lock arms with him as they trudged out into the blizzard. The love radiating from them causing a hissing sound from the melting snowflakes. Like the character in this Springsteen song, driving alone deliberating over a breakup, to being shocked into changing his life for someone. Choosing love isn't always an easy decision but sometimes it is the right decision. Just ask Cynthia's man.

4. My Heart Will Go on - Celine Dion

"Love can touch us one time and last for a life time and never let go till we're gone"

The ultimate people-watching song, it is impossible to not have a reaction to it. Be it the pool players imitating Jack and Rose from Titanic, the bartender grooving to the mysterious whistle. The tear rolling down Rose Pocket's cheek. My lip-syncing. Even the angry guy watching Sports Center reruns is bobbing his head. Cheesy or poignant, it depends on your Valentine. But you can't deny Celine's vocals.

Cinematic energy poured into our Valentine's soup of miscellaneous souls, bringing everyone in the bar together as if we'd all just survived the Titanic's sinking.  An Iceberg dodged is an iceberg to be found.

5. No More "I Love You's" - Annie Lennox

"I used to be woebegone and so restless nights, my aching heart would bleed for you to see, Oh but now..."

Heartbreak has a wild way of wiping away your fears. To be in love is to have something that you fear losing. Holding onto that fear will lead to its manifestation, setting it free will aid in its avoidance. Jealousy is a different beast altogether, one this bar as seen from both sides. For Cynthia, it made her a priority. But for the woman with her hair in a bun on the lonely end of the bar was it too much? I could ask her why she's alone on a night such as this but I sip my beer and make things up about her. The way she lip-syncs Annie Lennox and feels the song it seems clear she is letting go of something toxic. There's hope in a breakup, no matter how painful it is. You don't have to swear off the L-word, but forget the monsters and let go.

6. Toy Soldiers - Martika

"When you hear temptation call It's your heart that takes, takes the fall."

Yes, this song is about a cocaine addict, but isn't love like cocaine? It feels so right the more you know it's wrong. Quick 20-minute highs having you obsessing over it. It is expensive and an ill-timed sneeze can ruin the whole thing. But one too many well-timed sneezes can make love more addicting than cocaine. While that is the good stuff, and no it isn't always toxic...but when it is gone, no matter its status, your life feels like it will never be the same. Don't let yourself fall back into love gone bad, step by step, and heart to heart keep raging on into something better.

7. February Stars - Foo Fighters

"February stars. Floating in the dark. Temporary scars. February stars."

It's last call. Everyone left in the bar orders another, one more liquid coat to smooth the storms blowing outside and raging in our hearts. The Foo Fighters reminding us that the all-important timing of life constitutes waiting. Always waiting. Hoping for a brighter day while sulking in the dark. Being single forces you to face your own darkness, no matter how long it takes for you to experience happiness within the self, it is something that must be done.

As Bob Seger reminded us earlier, the timing isn't always right. What we forget about the darkness is, without it we'd never see the stars. As darkness falls, storms become immanent, and towers fall remember the immediate pain is temporary and stars shine their brightest in the dark.

8. Out Of Tears - The Rolling Stones

"And I just can't pour my heart out. To another living thing. I'm a whisper, I'm a shadow. But I'm standing up to sing."

The couple by the jukebox moves in to kiss each other. One kiss becomes a few. The guy looks awkward, too excited to hide his shaking. Is he afraid of love? Worried he'll break her heart because he isn't quite ready? Maybe I'm projecting. At this hour there is no knowing, that is why we listen to Mick Jagger and remember what we've learned about timing.

A relationship always needs time for healing, especially if it is one that is gone from your life forever. It's a well-known fact, you're not healed before you're out of tears. But what people don't realize is you're not healed until you get back those tears again. To be healed is to find life springing back...Don't worry winter's end is in sight. "Noooo it's not." howls the storm outside.

9. Brace - Twin Shadow (feat. Rainsford)

"I was brokenhearted. From the ones who hurt to love. But when you're lionhearted. You let 'em fall, you let 'em fall back in your arms yea."

With everyone out of tears, it was time for a reminder that the most beautiful days are the ones after a storm passes. "Sometimes we don't feel right, sometimes we don't fall at all". Just take a look up at the moon and realize that it moves in phases, as do all of us. Something better is around the corner, it's a matter of continuing forward until the right things fall into line. So smile, breathe, and get to the dance floor one more time before the bartender makes us fend for ourselves. Never forget to dance.

10. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift

"You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me. But we are never ever ever ever getting back together"

Say what you want about TSwift but this song is just right. If you haven't driven to this song while getting over a break up then you aren't healed properly.

Remember how I told you to dance? Do it. No, you don't have to be surviving a break up to sing this song, happily partnered? Then celebrate, you ain't going back to whatever trash came before them. Celebrate.

People should break up, it makes life more interesting...and for the patrons of this bar, it is a reason to dance. Now also the bartender, no looking back, folks.

11. Fuck you - Ceelo Green

"I pity the fool that falls in love with you"

This one goes out to St. Valentine himself...and every one of my ex's exes. What? CeeLo told me to say it. Forever in my mind, this song comes after the last. A spiteful round of music is no better way than to move on from a painful result of love. No matter how you truly feel about the past, just say fuck it and dance.

"You better sing this 'bout Jason, girl!" a woman yells to her friend in a birthday sash. Their laughter is infectious to this collection of Valentine's, ignoring all Covid protocol on the dance floor. But we were dancing to CeeLo, one sweaty bubble cursing the very day that brought them all together...But from the patrons of the bar "Fuck you in particular, Valentines Day."

12. Hands on the Clock - Star Slinger, Yessica Woahneil, Feat. Gyasi

"Happy single, not looking for dates."

I heard something once about the best revenge being your own happiness. When we go through the muck, it is easy to stare at the clock and waste time. But then you stop and realize that the only moment that matters is the present.

When love falls apart, stay present as the winds change. Focus on yourself, finding peace, and working on growth is the only way to get through a breakup. Evolution to the next great love takes loving the most important person, and that is yourself. Stop staring at the hands on the clock and take yourself on a date. Even if that means walking home alone in the snow.

13. L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. - Noah And The Whale

"What you don't have now will come back again. You've got heart and you're going your own way"

Step out into the dark frigid blizzard that is being single. Shine bright like the February stars, don't go forgetting that they're still sparkling above the storm.

Yes, I am saying you can eat a whole tub of ice cream and drink alone. But life goes on, and you will always regret that much ice cream. Then again, life is a series of choices. You decide when your life goes on. Coats on every last one of us waiting for the song to end, holding on to the heat before we get kicked out...

14. I Forgot That You Existed - Taylor Swift

" It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference."

The Bartender snappily informs us that: "In non-compliance with state laws, I'm playing one more song!" You see dear reader, the Bartender knows the universal fact that Taylor Swift is the quintessential breakup survivalist. If you disagree then dance your way to some other bar. Take it from Taylor, stop living in the past, and move forward...yeah that goes for you too happy couple by the jukebox! Everyone moves into love, moves out of love. Hell, dance into single happiness before you fall in love next time.

The song ended and there was no resistance, Valentines was over long ago. We stumble out spraying our "Happy Valentines" and "Fuck Yous" into the cold February night.

Tomorrow will be a hangover day, but there will be no regrets for it is the day farthest away from Valentine's Day.

The only way is forward, into the storm.