Filthy Secrets of Ancient Egypt

In our previous discussions, we explored the remarkable, unusual, and eerie ways in which ancient Egypt influenced the world as we know it. However, today, we are delving into the deeply unsettling and repugnant secrets of their civilization. Welcome to Nutty History, where we will be uncovering the filthy secrets of ancient Egypt.

Let's start with a rather unorthodox occupation from medieval times known as the "groom of the stool." This role involved maintaining the hygiene of the king's rear, and it turns out that this job's origins date back thousands of years to ancient Egypt. In those times, a qualified proctologist, known as "irie," held the prestigious title of the "Shepherd of the Royal Anus." Yes, you heard that right – the court proctologist was in charge of administering enemas to the Pharaohs as part of their intensive care. Ancient Egyptians believed in the importance of rear hygiene and administered enemas regularly, even among common people. Given that Pharaohs were considered god-like beings, the role of "niru payhut," or guardians of the royal rectum, was highly respected and desired. It is said that they performed divine interventions every day. A known "Shepherd of the Anus" was a physician named Iranchet, who lived around 2200 BC.

Interestingly, Egyptians were also body-conscious and sought to achieve a slim, muscular physique that was the beauty standard even back then. To shed excess weight without much effort, they turned to laxatives made from castor oil, spending most of their days in the restroom. This practice became so popular that they started taking laxatives as a medical solution for various issues.

In their pursuit of understanding pregnancy, ancient Egyptian women used rather unconventional methods for pregnancy tests. They carried two pouches of seeds, one containing barley seeds and the other wheat seeds, and after urinating on them, they observed which one sprouted. These methods may seem baseless, but surprisingly, modern pregnancy tests follow a similar principle using proteins to detect hormones.

While ancient Egyptian women had certain rights, they were still socially inferior to men and faced harassment and ridicule, especially during sacred religious festivals. Love potions were also used in attempts to woo uninterested women, while mummification, a practice highly revered by the ancient Egyptians, came with a hefty price, making it unaffordable for many.

The famous "Curse of King Tutankhamun" has often been considered a hoax, and Howard Carter, the archaeologist who discovered Tut's tomb, lived for decades afterward without any ill effects. However, one curious detail was found in King Tut's tomb – the unusual position of his mummy's phallus, pointing north. Some believe this might not have even belonged to King Tut, as there are claims that embalmers may have switched it with that of a more impressive donor.

Gender fluidity was not an alien concept to the ancient Egyptians, as their mythology depicted gods changing genders frequently. They believed that in the afterlife, humans might also change genders, and women, who were considered socially inferior, could transform into men.

Ancient Egypt, for all its grandeur and achievements, also had its share of peculiar and disgusting practices. These aspects offer us a glimpse into the fascinating and multifaceted civilization that shaped our world in both awe-inspiring and revolting ways.

In conclusion, ancient Egypt's history is a tapestry woven with extraordinary achievements and appalling practices. From the revered proctologists to the bizarre pregnancy tests and costly mummification rituals, this civilization never fails to surprise and amaze us with its strange, often unsettling secrets. Let us remember and learn from their complexities, so history does not repeat its dark and filthy chapters.