An Eclectic Anti-Valentine Playlist You'll Strangely Come to Love
25 bitter songs to loathe and sulk by while drinking alone with your Taco Bell nachos
Let's skip the foreplay and get to the reason we're all here.
I'm here because:
a) I'm disgusted with Valentine's Day for reasons I'm not going to tell you;
b) I just ate a gas station hot dog and need to sit down anyways;
c) I'm hoping this playlist will allow you to either share my pain...or at least help me win a Vocal Challenge (so I can afford to eat at better gas stations).
You're here because you either know me and have wisely placed your trust in me (thank you), knowing this playlist won't lead you astray...or maybe you just liked the title and want to see if my offerings are really as eclectic as I claim.
They are. But it's your call, so are we doing this?
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
Here's the perfect Paul Simon song to get us in the mood, for those who might still be clinging to the scraps of a long-dead relationship and just need a little push to cut the cord.
Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Paul Simon/50 Ways to Leave Your Lover lyrics © Paul Simon Music
Apart - The Cure
Paul Simon too upbeat for you on this dreary occasion? No problem; it gets worse. Or better, depending on your perspective. Robert Smith and The Cure will sink those spirits faster than a quiver full of arrows fired into the liferaft of your sad little heart.
How did we get this far apart?
We used to be so close together
How did we get this far apart?
I thought this love would last forever
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Simon Gallup / Perry Bamonte / Boris Williams / Paul Thompson / Robert Smith/Apart lyrics © Fiction Songs Ltd.
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Led Zeppelin
If you're still with us after that Cure song, that's good. We've got a lot of great tunes left to cover, and I'd be remiss if I left out this rocker from Led Zeppelin. It doesn't matter if you were the babe being left or the one leavin' the babe -- if this song doesn't speak to you, I'm gonna leave myself! (If only that were possible)
It was really, really good
You made me happy every single day
But now
I've got to go away
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Jimmy Page / Robert Plant / Anne Bredon/Babe I'm Gonna Leave You lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group
Bang Bang - Will. I. Am
I've gotta be honest; this playlist is shuffled and not necessarily organized in the best listening order. In fact, switching from Led Zeppelin to will.i.am has been known to cause cardiac arrhythmia. Not that you'll notice given the circumstances of having a broken heart. This one was on the soundtrack to The Great Gatsby, a beautiful film with occasionally terrible CGI.
My baby shot me down again,
Shot me down with a love and it go bang bang
That girl's a killer from a gang,
Shot me down with a love and it go bang bang
Source: LyricFind
Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
No matter what color your eyes are, this song from The Who will strike a chord with anyone who isn't just blue but also pissed off. In any case, we'll all have bloodshot eyes by the time this holiday is over. Just let dear Roger Daltrey cry you to sleep now...
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Pete Townshend/Behind Blue Eyes lyrics © Fabulous Music Ltd, Towser Tunes, Inc.
Jolene - Dolly Parton
Here's a blast from my childhood, growing up in Oklahoma and listening to the country classics that would later drive me to drink merely upon remembering them. That damn Jolene stole Dolly Parton's man and I never forgave her.
He talks about you in his sleep
And there's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name
Jolene
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Dolly Parton/Jolene lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
When you're in the mood for country music, might as well stick with it. And even if you don't like country (or Western), let's be real -- it's hard to beat the incomparable crooning of Bonnie Raitt. And we can all relate to the words in this one. If not, you're a lucky #$&@!
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Michael Reid / Allen Shamblin/I Can’t Make You Love Me lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Amplified Administration
Every Breath You Take - The Police
There's nothing romantic about this creepy stalker dude obsessed with whoever stole his heart. I'm throwing this one from Sting and The Police in as a warning -- don't be like this person! Just move on!!
Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Gordon Sumner/Every Breath You Take lyrics © Gm Sumner
I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
I'd hate myself if I'd forgotten to add this Joan Jett song before hitting the Submit button (heh heh). Did you were what I said?
This song's title alone sums everything up for some of us, doesn't it? You know who you are...
I think of you every night and day
You took my heart, and you took my pride away
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Child Desmond / Jett Joan Marie/I Hate Myself for Loving You lyrics © Mad Vincent Music, Desmobile Music Co., Universal Polygram Int. Publishing Inc., Hori Prod. America Inc., Lagunatic Music And Filmworks Inc.
Over - Sugarcult
A long lost classic that deserves another listen. I mean now, what are you waiting for? Okay, you don't know Sugarcult, I realize that. But they are worthy.
It's over
There's nothing you can do
There's nothing you can say
To keep me here
It's over
You say we're just friends
Well play and pretend to keep me here
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Pagnotta Timothy Alan / Desantis Marko K / Older Aaron / Livingston Kenneth Charles/Over lyrics © Kobalt Music Services America Inc Kmsa, Buy Some Music, My Song Can Beat Up Your Song, Front Wheel Drive Publishing
R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys
I don't know exactly what this song is, but for some reason, I feel like it fits this list. Plus it's a good break away from the blatantly sad stuff.
I think we need to snap out of it, and the Arctic Monkeys will help in the way a shot of adrenaline to the heart did in Pulp Fiction.
I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be
And satisfaction feels like a distant memory
And I can't help myself
All I wanna ever say is, "Are you mine?"
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Turner Alex / O'malley Nicholas Edward/R U Mine? lyrics © Emi Music Publishing Ltd
Our Hearts Condemn Us - Josef van Wissem
You know what, when an instrumental played by a Dutch guy on a giant lute can pull on your heartstrings, you really don't need words. So just listen. This version of Josef van Wissem's masterpiece is from the Only Lovers Left Alive soundtrack. The movie stars Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston, for all you MCU fans!
Ms. Jackson - Outkast
It's time to shake things up like a Polaroid picture with a little Outkast! I'm sorry it took so long; I am for real...
Know what I'm talking about? Jealousy, infidelity, envy
Cheating to beating, envy and to the G they be the same thing
So who you placing the blame on, you keep on singing the same song
Let bygones be bygones, you can go on and get the hell on
You and your mama
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Andre Benjamin / Antwan Patton / David Sheats/Ms. Jackson lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Never Let Me Down Again - Depeche Mode
Nobody likes to be let down...especially not again and again. Don't let it happen to you! Stand up for yourself like Depeche Mode, and stay safe (as houses).
I'm taking a ride with my best friend
I hope he never lets me down again
Promises me I'm safe as houses
As long as I remember who's wearing the trousers
I hope he never lets me down again
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Martin Gore/Never Let Me Down Again lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Missing - Bruce Springsteen
One of Bruce Springsteen's most haunting melodies, Missing from Jack Nicholson's sleeper The Crossing Guard will infect your brain and linger there, making you wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing by the end of the week. Personally, I don't mind The Boss groovin' in my skull as long as he wants.
Last night I dreamed the sky went black
You were drifting down and you couldn't get back
You were lost and in trouble so far from home
I reached for you, my arms went to stone
I woke and you were missing
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen/Missing lyrics © EMI Music Publishing
Let It Die - Foo Fighters
Some relationships end and leave you wondering why they had to die in the first place, as ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl asks over and over in this song by the Foo Fighters. Naturally, it was always the other person's fault...even if it wasn't. (It was)
Do you ever think of me?
Oh, so considerate
In too deep and lost in time
Why'd you have to go and let it die?
Beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes
Why'd you have to go and let it die?
Hearts gone cold and hands are tied
Why'd you have to go and let it die?
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Dave Grohl / Taylor Hawkins / Nate Mendel / David Eric Grohl / Christopher A. Shiflett / Chris Shiflett/Let It Die lyrics © Bug Music, Mj Twelve Music, Flying Earform Music, I Love The Punk Rock Music, Living Under A Rock Music, Songs Of Universal, Inc.
Jimmy Olsen Blues - Spin Doctors
What can you do when you're in love with someone in love with a superhero? Well...you can complain about it in verse like the Spin Doctors have the fictional DC Comics journalist Jimmy Olsen doing here! What's the worst that could happen (other than being disintegrated by laser eyes)?
He's faster than a bullet, stronger than a train
He's the one who got lucky got his cape around Miss. Lois Lane
I, I can't believe my dilemma is real
I'm competing with the man of steel
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Aaron Comess / Eric Schenkman / Chris Barron / Mark White (Spin Doctors)/Jimmy Olsen’s Blues lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, Mowb'jow Music Inc
I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow - The Soggy Bottom Brothers
I warned you it'd be eclectic but noo, you wouldn't listen! That's okay; if you're not familiar with this 1913 folk tune dusted off and redone for the Coen Brothers' movie O Brother, Where Art Thou? then here's your chance for redemption.
It's fare thee well my old lover
I never expect to see you again
For I'm bound to ride that northern railroad
Perhaps I'll die upon this train
(Perhaps he'll die upon this train)
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Traditional / John Allen / Scott Mills / Victor Carrera/In the Jailhouse Now lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
alt.end - The Cure
Another song from The Cure? Yes, but if you're familiar with them, you know why they're so perfect for the anti-Valentine's Day theme we're shooting for. Here, Bob's basically sounding sick of whatever relationship he was in and just wants it to end. I think he's being very clear and emphatic about that.
And I don't want another go around
I don't want to start again
I don't want another go around
I want this to be the end
I want this to be the end
I don't want to start again
I want this to be the last thing we do
It for me and you
This to be the last we go through
This to be the end
For all my dreams came true...
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Jason Toop Cooper / Perry Bamonte / Robert James Smith / Roger O'donnell / Simon Gallup/alt.end lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths
Never a band to shy from controversial lyrics backed by unseemingly upbeat melodies, The Smiths featuring lead singer Morrissey are apparently tackling domestic violence -- always a good reason to get out of a relationship ASAP.
Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I'd like to smash every tooth
In your head
Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Steven Morrissey / Johnny Marr/Bigmouth Strikes Again lyrics © Artemis Muziekuitgeverij B.v., Marr Songs Ltd.
Black - Pearl Jam
Since we've gone a bit dark, why not go all the way black with a bit of Black from Pearl Jam? One of the most poignant songs from a Seattle grunge band that made their living writing poignant songs.
And now my bitter hands
Cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad
Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
All that I am
All that I'll be, yeah
Uh huh, uh huh, oh
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Oh can't it be mine
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Stone C. Gossard / Eddie Jerome Vedder/Black lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Gone Away - The Offspring
Time to get serious and share this tragic tune by The Offspring, for anyone who ever lost their Valentine and can relate to the torrent of emotions and pain.
Gone Away was rumored to have been written by singer Dexter Holland after his first wife died in a car accident, though he's never substantiated that as far as I know.
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Marys
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Holland Dexter / Holland Bryan Keith/Gone Away lyrics © Round Hill Works, Underachiever Music
Blurry - Puddle of Mudd
Actually, the meaning of the lyrics is a bit blurry to me, but this song from Midwestern boys Puddle of Mudd still makes the cut for being melancholic and truly heartfelt.
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Wesley Scantlin / Doug Ardito / James Edward Allan/Blurry lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Jordan Rocks Music, The Thick Plottens Music, Stereo Supersonic Music
Can We Still Be Friends - Todd Rundgren
Uff, Todd Rundgren asks the ultimate question nobody wants to hear from their ex. Am I right or am I right? BING! I remember this one from the eery Tom Cruise flick Vanilla Sky, a mind-bender if I've ever seen one!
We can't play this game anymore, but
Can we still be friends?
Things just can't go on like before, but
Can we still be friends?
Source: LyricFind/Songwriters: Todd Rundgren/Can We Still Be Friends lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Love Stinks - J. Geils Band
This last one from J. Geils Band seems like the perfect cap for an anti-Valentine's Day playlist, but unfortunately, I didn't think of it. All credit goes to my friend Captain Flantastic, so if you see a caped man running around in Utah singing this song, don't forget to thank him for the reminder.
You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Seth Justman / Peter Wolf/Love Stinks lyrics © Center City Music, Pal-park Music
Honorable Mentions
Honestly, there's an endless array of great songs for a list like this, but my computer is starting to crash from memory overload. A few songs I'd like to mention, though, are:
I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins I Don't Want Your Love - Duran Duran I'm Not in Love - 10cc I Want Your Back - Jackson 5 Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me - The Smiths Missing - Everything But The Girl Mouth - Bush Only Time Will Tell - Asia Cheating On You - Franz Ferdinand
...and, for fun, and because you deserve a break today...
Freedom - Pharrell Williams
Just remember, if your relationship status has been "single" for some time now, just appreciate the fact that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. No one to answer to = FREEDOM!
Hold on to me
Don't let me go
Who cares what they see?
Who cares what they know?
Your first name is Free
Last name is Dom
We choose to believe
In where we're from
Source: Musixmatch/Songwriters: Keir Gist / Pharrell Williams / Anthony Shawn Criss / Vincent E. Brown/Freedom lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Naughty Music, Select Music Inc., Songs Of Universal Inc.
About the Creator
Matt Cates
Freelance writer and owner of Cates Content and Copywriting; retired Air Force Veteran; former administrative assistant at Oregon State University; author of Haveck: The First Transhuman, the greatest sci-fi novel in the multiverse.
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