A Look at my Life

I have always been surrounded by art, my father is an architect, my mother plays guitar, my sister is a songwriter. I write and paint and take pictures. Art has always and will always be a lifeline, the very beat of my heart, music in particular is something I feel deeply connected to. I grew up on the weekends in tiny Unitarian churches and parks listening to folk music. I even ran my own coffeehouse style concert series when I was in high school. Boiling down the music that has shaped me to something somewhat coherent is a hard ask, I'm going to give it a try though.

I think first and foremost I will have to mention Lindsay Mac. It's said quite often that the music you connect to in the 14-17 year old age bracket tends to set you up for your musical tastes for the rest of your life.

I saw Lindsay open for a band my parents like when I was fifteen years old. I can honestly say that night changed the way I saw music. It was the first time I had cried in years, which is a story for a different day. The lyrics felt like home, she is unique, strapping a cello to herself and strumming it like a guitar. From the first note out of her mouth I changed, or rather changed back, into the wide eyed kid that cried when something touches them deeply.

The song Seven Stones was the one that not only hit a chord in me that I wasn't sure existed anymore, but then put me on the track to really find my taste.

Seven Stones by Lindsay Mac

From there I dove deeply into the folk music world. There was something so raw and so welcoming about the fans, the artists. They were willing to talk to this super awkward kid that just wanted to learn about art. On top of all that the community was so weird. I mean that in the absolute best way possible. I have met friends for life in those strange little basement rooms.

The Thing with Feathers by Maura Kennedy

I was even given the opportunity to work with some of these artists later on. I did a music video with my best friend, for Maura Kennedy's The Thing With Feathers. It was my first real work in the visual world. While video didn't end up being my medium of choice, creating this started a visual language in my brain that attached words to pictures. If you follow any of my other work that probably sounds pretty familiar.

We were sixteen, I was and am still very proud of the video. I learned a lot from shooting it, a lot about trusting your creative partner and of course the lesson all of us artists learn eventually. Demand what you are worth.

My Manic and I by Laura Marling

Soon I was finding artists with similar stories to mine, people who wrote about really real stuff. I struggle with various health issues, both mental and physical, so when I looked for art I have always been on the "comfort the disturbed" side of the equation. Laura Marling was the first artist that wrote in a way that I could see myself writing. I discovered her by accident, clicking around Apple Music, and she was dark, unapologetically so, and talented and beautiful. Her work has evolved as I have evolved, she is as much of a poet as she is a musician. I still see myself in her work.

Semper Femina by Laura Marling

Of course at the same time I am making formative memories with music, I am also discovering myself. I came out (for the first time) when I was a senior in high school. So I looked for queer artists I could see being out there and proud. I found Brandi Carlile then, and have loved her ever since.

The Story by Brandi Carlile

Brandi was exciting, she was gay, she had the most energy I had ever seen on stage. I saw her at the Beacon and she sang on stage unplugged without instruments and she filled the whole venue. She also continues to lift other artists up. Bringing people who would have never met together. The way that she collaborates is the way I yearn to be able to collaborate. This of course, leads me to jump ahead a bit to last years Newport Folk Festival.

Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

Joni. A monolith to me, someone I never thought I'd see on stage. I thought I missed her. Any good folkie will list three people when talking about the greatest songwriters in the genre Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, and Dave Carter. Joni changed the game, and has been a source of both artistic inspiration and life inspiration for a very long time for me. To see her singing again, it's special. She was my late aunts favorite musician, every time I hear a Joni song I think of her.

Gentle Arms of Eden Dave Carter and Tracy Grammar

Dave Carter might be a name that is a little less recognizable than the other two, unfortunately he died fairly young. However I associate Gentle Arms of Eden with my absolute favorite place on earth. The Falcon Ridge Folk Festival. It's a tiny festival held in early August in the Berkshires (it has since moved to Connecticut). I don't go to church I'm not even a little religious. Falcon Ridge once a year is usually enough to fill my spirit for the year to come. When we break camp we say that we're just going into town for 51 weeks, we'll be back soon.

I even have the lyric "This is the only sacred ground that I have ever known" tattooed on my body.

The people I know there both musicians and otherwise are my family. They are people I have turned to in crisis, and have shown up. They are people who have the same nerdy passion about music, and many other things, that I do. There are very few places that a smile on the way to the port-a-potty at six in the morning is passionately returned. In fact two people I know from there pledge for me here on vocal. They supported me before I even started really writing here.

Right Here by Carolann Solebello

Brooklyn in the Rain by Carolann Solebello

Carolann Solebello is one of those people I met at Falcon Ridge after admiring her music for many years. She is a dear friend now. She is dynamic and multitalented, her music is raw and quite honestly speaks for itself. There is something uniquely soothing about her voice, and her work both has a sharp edge and a soft landing. It is hard to write how her music has affected my life because as a person she has made even more of an impact. I think everyone should listen to her though, so I needed to include her work. Also that album cover for Shiver. My photo!

The Sinner and the Saint written by Carolann Solebello, performed by Carolann Solebello and Joe Iadanza

I could write pages and pages on folk music and I will include a few more of my favorites at the end of the article. I do think I've gotta jump to a different genre though.

The first band that my friends and I bonded over was Jack's Mannequin. They were not quite into the folk stuff in the same way I was, though they were very good sports about my dragging them to shows. Most of the time that ended in a folk fan conversion, which I have always been quite proud of.

Holiday from Real Jack's Mannequin

I have had three of my closest friends in my life since we were five, our friendship can legally rent a car. There are a few songs that will immediately bring me back to sitting in one of our basements laughing and crying and sometimes fighting.

Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard

I am the prime age for Panic at the Disco, for My Chemical Romance, for Yellowcard. I even had a Reliant K kick for a while.

My last year of college I had to make an art thesis. I was not okay. I did however listen to Fleetwood Mac's Rumors almost exclusively my last semester. I could have switched those last two sentences and it wouldn't have made a difference.

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

I loved the story behind the album, I loved that they made this historic incredible piece of artwork while they all actively hated each other. I'm a little twisted what can I say? They made great work. It pushed me to make great work. It also inspired me to keep going while I was working through some of the hardest stuff I had ever gone through.

More recently I've discovered Delta Rae, and this was another band that I listened to over and over again.

Dance in the Graveyard Delta Rae

I think I'm going to round out this playlist with Ren's Hi Ren. I have not been floored by a performance ever in the way I was floored by this. The production notes are important, this was done live in four takes. I'm quite honestly still rendered fairly speechless on this performance months later.

Hi Ren by Ren

Music has saved me, it has pushed me, it has inspired my own writing, it has allowed me to be vulnerable in moments when I could not put words to what was going on in my head. The things that attract me to a song are the same things that attract me to my favorite writers on here, my favorite visual artists, my friends.

The ability to be honest and open even in metaphor is brave. These musicians, these songs have shaped me, shaped who I am as an artist, as a person. These songs have brought comfort whether through tears of relief, or pure joy.