2020: A Year in Verse

When I think of how 2020 began, what comes to mind are the barrage of social media posts claiming that 2020 would be "our year" and better yet a revival of the roaring 20's. This prompted me to imagine the year starting off like the epic party scene from The Great Gatsby with Fergie's "A Little Party Never Killed Nobody" blasting in the background.

(1) "A Little Party Never Killed Nobody" by Fergie

It's safe to say that many of us had "high hopes" for the start of the decade, which brings us to our next song on the playlist:

(2) "High Hopes" by Panic! At the Disco

However, as we all know 2020 quickly turned into this:

(3) The Theme Song from Game of Thrones

. . . only as opposed to battling White Walkers, we were fighting the coronavirus instead. From there, the year devolved in ways that were best summed up in parodies such as this cover of:

(4) "Stayin' Alive" by The Bee Gees called "Stayin' Inside"

Another favorite worth checking out is:

(5) Tessa Netting's parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" entitled "We Didn't Stop the Virus"

For the record, as fitting as these parodies are, the originals of these songs are also on my playlist.

On a more serious note and personal note, a lot of what I have spent the past few years working on is being ok with being alone. I spent the last months of 2019 eagerly re-reading Louisa May Alcott's Little Women in anticipation of seeing Greta Gerwig's film adaptation in January of 2020. The content of both the book and film is memorable to me, but the experience of seeing it in the theater before the closures was also really special because it was actually the first movie I have ever gone to see in a theater by myself without a friend, family member, or date accompanying me. As trivial as it might sound, this actually signified a major shift for me of stepping into my power as a strong, independent, single woman. Coupled with the theme of female empowerment featured in the film, going to the theater to view it by myself was like a spiritual experience for me. There were songs on my playlist around this time like:

(6) Dua Lipa's "New Rules" and (7) Mabel's "Don't Call Me Up"

However, it was actually the lyrics of Miley Cyrus' "Midnight Sky" that came out later in 2020 that most spoke to this sentiment of empowerment I had been working towards experiencing myself.

(8) "Midnight Sky" by Miley Cyrus

This song first caught my attention due to its shared chords with Stevie Nicks' "Edge of Seventeen," because I have long been a Stevie Nicks fan. In fact, the last "concert" I went to see in January of 2020 before the shutdowns was a cover band's tribute to Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac performed at my local library. I also happen to currently be in the process of writing a YA novel that is partly inspired by lyrics from the music of Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac. Needless to say, plenty of Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac music is currently on my playlist. Though, the lyrics to "Midnight Sky" also really spoke to me on a deep emotional level. The song begins:

"Yeah, it's been a long night and the mirror's tellin' me to go home. But it's been a long time since I felt this good on my own. A lotta years went by with my hands tied up in your ropes. Forever and ever, no more. The midnight sky is the road I'm taking. Head high up in the clouds. I was born to run, I don't belong to anyone, oh no. I don't need to be loved by you. Fire in my lungs, can't bite the devil on my tongue, oh no. I don't need to be loved by you."

In several interviews, Miley Cyrus explained that the inspiration for this song actually came to her during one of her last big nights out before the shutdowns of 2020 essentially sent all of us home. The first stanza really spoke to me because it powerfully expresses feeling good about being alone after years "tied up in your ropes. Forever and ever, no more," which is exactly what I felt after leaving a toxic relationship that I feared would not stop paining me for years even after it was over. Yet, despite my newfound sense of independence, so many couples around me were all so "tied up" in the "forever and ever" of their relationships. That's why I love how enticing the lines, "The midnight sky is the road I'm taking. Head high up in the clouds" are because I also tend to be more of a lone wolf of sorts, taking the paths less travelled by. Always daydreaming, stargazing, trying to be present for the sunrise and sunset. All the while trying to heal and rekindle "the fire in my lungs" or passion for life after feeling so numb or stagnant for so long. Yet, despite the stagnancy, I did feel like "I was born to run" and that "I don't need to be loved by you."

A few other songs on the "female empowerment" side of my playlist include:

(9) Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon" and (10) Aurora's Cover of Ariana Grande's "God is a Woman"

"Rhiannon" is a classic song about "an old Welsh witch," and witchcraft has long had ties to themes of female empowerment. Personally, I love the imagery the song conjures when Stevie Nicks sings about how Rhiannon "takes to the sky like a bird in flight" and how "she rules her life like a fine skylark." When the lyrics repeat, "All your life, you've never seen a woman taken by the wind," it reminds me of one of my favorite paintings called "The Spirit of Flight" by Josephine Wall.

"Rhiannon" combined with Aurora's cover of "God is a Woman" and

(11) "Message in a Bottle" by The Police

also reminds me of one of my favorite quarantine reads, which was Circe by Madeline Miller. Circe is a feminist retelling of The Odyssey told through the perspective of the title character, who is a witch that had been exiled to a private island called Aiaia following a brutal exhibition of her powers that turned a fellow nymph into a terrifying sea monster.

Reading this story about the centuries Circe spent on the island in exile all while continuing to come into her own and further hone or cultivate her powers served as a whimsical sort of metaphor for the kind of self-work I have been trying to partake in while quarantining.

Both "Rhiannon" and Aurora's version of "God is a Woman" remind me of this inspiring character and the power she possesses. On the other hand, "Message in a Bottle" by The Police captures the loneliness of this character's isolation, akin to what so many people are currently experiencing in quarantine. The first stanza of "Message in a Bottle" goes:

"Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh. Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh. More loneliness than any man could bear. Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh."

However, despite how individualistically lonely the singer first seems early in the song, it later goes:

"Walked out this morning. Don't believe what I saw. Hundred billion bottles, washed up on the shore. Seems I'm not alone at being alone. Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home."

These lines remind me of how none of us are currently "alone at being alone" while we are all in social isolation.

Returning back to the theme of female empowerment, I also loved listening to Ava Max's:

(12) "Kings & Queens"

. . . especially after binge reading and watching The Queen's Gambit on Netflix and then going to Chess.com to learn how to play the game against a computer simulation of Beth Harmon during various stages of her chess career. This experience made Ava Max's reference to the game of chess in her song all the more resonant when she sang, "In chess, the king can move one space at a time. But queens are free to go wherever they like." Also, similar to the idea of not being "alone at being alone" from "Message in a Bottle," Ava Max's song repeats, "To all of the queens who are fighting alone, baby you're not dancin' on your own," which is to say that many people are in a similar boat.

(13) "Húsavík (My Hometown)" from the Soundtrack for Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

Another Netflix production I loved this year was the comedy Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga about the pop duo from Iceland and their unlikely journey to the Eurovision Song Contest held in Scotland.

In the film, Will Ferrell's character, Lars, has dreams of becoming famous and traveling the world to perform. While his singing partner and romantic interest, Sigrit, played by Rachel McAdams, comes to realize that all she wants is to have Lars by her side in their small native town of Húsavík, for which their final performance piece is named. Despite the humor of the film, what resonated with me about this truly gorgeous song was how it made me appreciate my own hometown that I ended up quarantined in so much more. Although the mountains do not quite "sing through the screams of seagulls" in central New Jersey, I have been spending more time in nature at my local parks that are beautiful in their own way.

Speaking of nature and Iceland, I also found myself listening to:

(14) "Jóga" by Björk

This extremely beautiful and haunting song is an abstract piece about being drawn further into the beauty of nature after being pushed into a "state of emergency." Given that I too have been seeking greater refuge in nature as a result of the pandemic, this song feels quite relatable as of late.

However, when I begin to long for our pre-quarantine life again, I think of:

(15) "California Dreamin'" by The Mamas & The Papas

For many people, it feels like "all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray" as we hope to return to some semblance of "normalcy" the way the singers here hope to venture to sunny California one day.

(16) "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

"Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac has resonated with a lot of people during this time, possibly because it starts with, "Now here you go again. You say, you want your freedom" as many of us long for the "freedom" we once had before the quarantine. The song later goes on to say, "But listen carefully, to the sound of your loneliness. Like a heartbeat drives you mad, in the stillness of remembering what you had. And what you lost," which many people have been contemplating in their own state of loneliness as we reflect on what we "had" and what we "lost."

(17) "They Don't Care About Us" by Michael Jackson

During the protests following the death of George Floyd, I couldn't help but think of Michael Jackson's "They Don't Care About Us" which highlights the ongoing issue of police brutality. One of the music videos that had been released in 1996 for this song utilizes pieces of "historic footage of violence committed by governments against their own people" and "also contains real footage of police attacking African Americans, the military crackdown of the protest in the Tiananmen Square, the Ku Klux Klan, war crimes, genocide, execution, martial law, and other human rights abuses" (IMDB), much of which looked eerily similar to pieces of news footage from this past year. This music video features Michael Jackson performing while in a real prison among the inmates.

In 2020 the director Spike Lee released an updated music video for this iconic song that incorporated footage from the George Floyd protests. Spike Lee said, “Great protest songs can’t get old, stale or non-relevant because the struggle still continues. That’s why THEY DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT US is the anthem during this chaotic, pandemic world we are all living in."

(18) "Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man

At the end of the day we are all only "human after all."

(19) "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica

When things got particularly grim, I listened to "Nothing Else Matters" because this year truly has put into perspective that nothing else matters as much as the freedom, equality, health, and safety of all people.

Despite all of the challenges 2020 has thrown our way, the resilience of humans has continued to amaze me. A show that I found moving was:

(20) Lindsey Stirling's Performance of "Crystallize" During her "Home For the Holidays" Special

Sure, Lindsey Stirling, the dancing violinist, did not have to put herself in a situation where she would hang from aerial silks by her hair onstage while playing "Crystallize" on the violin at the same time. However, in spite of the extreme physical pain of this performance and the months of grueling training leading up to it, she insisted on going forward with this stunt because she wanted to essentially pay tribute to all of her fans who were suffering through the pandemic. In a vlog that documented some of her training for this performance while reflecting on the pandemic and her own experiences of losing her father and best friend to cancer within a few years of each other she said:

"For those of you watching, I am sure that you are going through your own kind of pain right now. It's been a hard year, but I've learned time and time again through life that joy can be found even in trials. That courage and faith can be found through the fear and that gratitude can be discovered by our losses. Every time that you think to yourself that you're not strong enough, or that it's impossible, or that you can't, I want you to out loud remind yourself that you can. That you are strong enough and that you can do hard things . . . we're all so much stronger than we know."

All I can say is that I wish everyone all the best during these challenging times. I hope that music has been there for you to help you process, express, or seek refuge from what we have been going through.

Keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

Below is my Spotify playlist for your listening pleasure: