What I have learned in love and relationships over the past 30 years and why it's took me this long to figure it out...
My parents got divorced when I was 18 months old so I never met my real father until I was about 30 years old. My step dad raised me and I have always considered him my dad now and til I die. However, I did have 3 sisters out in this world that I had never met until I was 30 also. You see to meet them, I had to meet him... so the search for my biological father began. It didn't take long to track him down either. He basically lived 2 counties over and it wasn't that I was so interested in him as I was in meeting my sisters. My father Calvin had 4 daughters all by different mothers, my mother being his 3rd wife. My sister Beverly is the oldest, then Renee, me, and then there is a 4th named Brandy but we have never met her and not sure if she knows or wants to know who her biological father is and that is how we have left it. Maybe someday she will find out the truth or doesn't care one way or another and that's fine too. But for me I needed to know my siblings and that I did.
Something I read the other day made me think about the past and just how screwed up it really was at that particular time in my life. I look back at my previous marriages and cringe at the remembrance of some memories. My first marriage didn't really last that long and I was so young that I barely remember most of it. I hardly ever count that one even though it did yield two beautiful children. Now my second marriage.....that was the one I thought would be the death of me. I think one tries harder the second time around because who wants to be a two time loser right? I stayed and took things that I normally wouldn't from anyone else but I think my biggest problem was I could never truly be myself in that relationship. Oh, to the outward appearances we looked to be the perfect couple but behind closed doors it was a totally different story. Many people were shocked to hear we had split up.
What can I say about me and Jack…He is the cheese to my macaroni! My best friend, partner in crime, sidekick, lover, confidant, and the coolest person I know. He makes me laugh til I literally pee my pants. Unfortunately, most people don’t get to see the side of Jack that I do. I say unfortunately because it's unfortunate for them. He’s very quiet and reserved— the total opposite of me. He normally doesn’t say a whole lot and gets embarrassed easily and my most favorite thing to do to him is embarrass him to no end— but mostly at home, rarely in public, for he would never forgive me. Well... he probably would eventually but no time soon, so I try to keep the shenanigans limited to our private realm. Although, I did pinch his nipple one time at Lowe’s and caused him to yelp like a seal in the middle of the paint section, or the time I ran my hand up his shorts at an auction and almost caused him to bid on something entirely out of our price range. Sometimes, I’ll catch him engrossed in something on TV and give him a wet willy or try to stick my finger in his nose or just lick him in the face. It’s not that I really want to stick my finger in his nose, because I’ve never been actually successful. It's just the dramatic reaction I get from him that is so entirely hilarious, I can’t help myself. His favorite, though (not really), is when I catch him bent over and run up behind him and start humping on him like a dog. “Please stop fucking me with your phantom dick, Vanessa!” he yells at me. Of course, I am dying laughing at this point and cannot breath because after 2 years together he should know, by now, not to bend over in front of me because I will try to check his oil every time, if you know what I mean.