I'm the foulmouthed horror movie critic. I post new reviews every Sunday, so stay tuned =D
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Hobo With A Shotgun' (2011)
This marvelous example of cinematic mastery is not some simple return to the golden age of silver screen classics. Oh no, it has raised the bar for Hollywood and the movie industry as a whole! Hobo With a Shotgun challenges our very concepts of society, culture, philosophy, and dare I say, even God. What we're provided with is not some mere excuse for entertainment, but rather a deep internal reflection on the soul of our humanity. Hobo With A Shotgun pulls back the scabs, renders the flesh, and digs deep into the marrow of what it means to be human.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Voices' (2014)
This was a fantastic movie that I honestly hoped would lean a little more into comedy. While yes, this movie was absurdist, it cannot be called comedy. Just dark. Dark, dark, dark, absurdism. There was... nothing funny about this movie. This movie is about -in all respects- the final tipping point for a serial killer as he comes apart.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Forrest' (2016)
This movie is just plain dumb, with some of the worst fucking acting I've ever seen. I mean, 'Tommy Wiseau School of Acting' bad. Mind you, not as bad as The Bay (2012), more like on par with They (2002). If you're making movies with a budget, there's no excuse to have bad acting.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Doom: Annihilation' (2019)
You may remember from my review of the original Doom (2005), that fans were unnecessarily critical of it for not really using any of the video game cannon. My response to this was, "So the fuck what?" It had all the right elements for a fun action/horror, and still had enough similarities with the video game franchise to call itself Doom. It also pioneered the FPS movie years before things like Hardcore Harry or Found Footage Hybrids like Chernobyl Diaries.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Get Out' (2017)
To be blunt, I had no idea how I was gonna tackle this movie. In my review of Us (2019), I mentioned that I wasn't going to make an embarrassing attempt to 'white-splain' the ethnocentric, sociopolitical implications of the movie. By and large, one of the biggest reasons I didn't do a review of Get Out (2017), is due to the fact, that subject is unavoidable.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of "Midsommar" (2019)
Jesus fucking Christ. I haven't seen a movie go for broke on the whole "asshole boyfriend" trope since White Settlers (2014). At least that asshole showed some growth. This prick doubled down at every moment of the movie. He goes from gaslighting his girlfriend Dani (played by Florence Pugh), to stringing along their relationship rather than dumping her, to using Dani's sister's suicide as a weapon, to being completely unsupportive as a boyfriend, to stealing a thesis from someone who is supposed to be a friend, to eye-fucking ever woman in sight. The list goes on and fucking on. GOD! How hard do you have to drive home the guy being an asshole?
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Camp Dread' (2014)
I love the basic concept of this movie. It's like Don't Fuck In The Woods, with a myriad of strung together, fan favorite, tropes. It shows you the people making this movie were fans before they were writers and directors. Actually, a lot of the set up reminds me of Cabin in the Woods, except more of a spoof and as a reality TV show instead of an Illuminati conspiracy.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Tell Tale Heart' (2020), a host film.
This one is gonna be rife with -SPOILERS-, but c'mon. It's The Tell Tale Heart, by Edgar Allan Poe. I was particularly impressed by this retelling of Poe's classic, The Tell Tale Heart. Those familiar with my reviews, know I'm not fond of poetry, and though I've reviewed some books of poetry in the past (like The Configuration Discordant, by John Baltisberger), poetry is usually not my cup of tea. Poe was always an exception to that rule, and while my love of Poe isn't terribly nuanced or refined, it is love, none the less. Screwing up one of my favorite poems by Poe could spell certain doom for any series or film under my scrutiny. Moreover, a shameless rehash of something that fall under public domain is another good way to compel my ire.