Jessica Shanel
Bio
Taurus♉️ spiritual 🌙nostalgic, music/Disney lover,hugger, dreamer, deep-thinker with a witty sense of humor. The struggle is real, but so is my power
Stories (2/0)
Unmasked
As a therapist, I say a lot of inspirational and positive things, such as, "Love yourself, you're perfectly imperfect." or, "The world is your oyster. It is up to you to find the pearls." I mean those things when I say them to others; however, with myself, I realized that I was saying those things merely as a platitude. I do my best to wear a brave face and seem positive for the rest of the world, especially because many know I'm a therapist. I mean on my Instagram, I'm practically shooting beams of sunshine out of my ass, radiating so much positivity. It's so saccharine you need a dose of insulin to view my profile. However, when I come home, I unmask in more ways than one, not only do I remove my face mask; but, I remove the mask that everything is okay. I sit and ask myself why is it that no matter what, I keep ending up feeling unfulfilled, discontent, unappreciated, overworked, and many other unpleasant emotions. I realized that as much growth as I have done compared to who I used to be in the past, I still had to dig a little bit deeper and uncover what always seems to hold me back. I realized through working with my clients that our deepest truths usually lie beneath the parts of our stories that we seem to breeze right through. You see, I was born to a drug addicted mother. I was born three months early; and, as a result, I ended up in foster care. I got adopted by a family who was loving and nurturing when I was a baby. However, while they were just what the doctor ordered during infancy, they became venomous later; and they were abusive. They were abusive in such a way that I did not recognize it; and, they gave me everything I wanted; but, not what I needed. You see, I had plenty of material things, food, clothing, you name it. However, I did not receive unconditional love. I was not free to be my authentic self. I was not free to even fully enjoy my childhood because I was parentified. I endured sexual abuse and verbal abuse. I was also witness to a great deal of physical abuse. I was constantly put down, invalidated, and put in positions that no child should have to be in. I have told this story many times before. I thought surely I was healed because I cut my parents out of my life, I'm living in West Hollywood, I've accomplished a lot in life. However, I took a long hard look back on my life and realized that somewhere along the lines, due to my history of abuse, I developed negative core beliefs such as, "I'm not loveable", "I don't deserve to be happy", "My efforts to work hard or do my best will only be repaid with pain and disappointment." After having been abandoned by my biological mother, then, abused by the family that was supposed to rescue me, deep down I believed that if those who were supposed to love me could not love me, I must be unlovable.
By Jessica Shanel 3 years ago in Motivation
I Wish that I Were Jesse’s Girl
Have mercy! What can I say, I definitely wish that I were Jesse’s girl. My OG celebrity crush is John Stamos. He is the whole reason I started watching Full House. I had to see Uncle Jesse. I think that he is the epitome of sexy. He is the cat’s meow and the pur. I don’t know how he ever got through airport security when he traveled because he is the bomb. In fact, when I was a junior in high school, the first day of English class, my teacher Mr. Vargo asked us to show or tell about someone important to us. Without hesitation, I was the first to pull out my flip phone ( I can’t believe I ever thought flip phones were cool); and, I professed to my peers my undying love for John Stamos.
By Jessica Shanel 4 years ago in Geeks
