Jared Long
Bio
Stories (3/0)
See Saw
I saw everything and yet remained silent. As quiet as one could be in such a scenario. Every thing I said came out in in a muffled scream of agony and misunderstanding. The only way that I had left was to torture myself with the burden of reprieve. To buy my time silently waiting for the other shoe to drop, the page to turn and for me to plot my escape. Trapped in a weird fever dream of mistrust and non-emotion. A disconnected connectedness. Everything was connected and yet completely separate. I spent more days playing pretend than actually living. A casual glance from a stranger that said nothing more than, ‘We’re watching you’. I couldn’t help but feel as if everyone knew something I didn’t. Reading the lips of the patron next me saying “I just passed him.” Any time I got out of line I was punished and tormented with the most grotesque of thoughts. The silence was deafening. A loneliness crept over me and felt cast away from society. I felt disconnected from every person that promised to be there for me and to love me. I looked for the hope on the horizon and found none. Only a silent echo of my future that may never come, the love I may never have, and the life I may never live. Torment, patience, torment. The people watch as I move about throughout this life and never help. They only laugh and ridicule. They add to the unrelenting pains and agony my brain endures at their words, their hands, their lies. I hoped to move beyond it one day. To move through it . That hopeful revelation may appear and I may one day be free. A knowing of a certain truth, of a certain pattern, of a specific understanding that would bring me to clarity. That I may be free from this burdensome load was all I wanted. That I may see the fruits of the labors of my agonies and find peace. Oh not now, and maybe not ever. For those who know, know. For those who don’t, don’t. Would it be better to die a good man? Or to live forever as a monster. A shell of your once true good self. An empty basket to which once housed a soul and now only the hollow shell of a once proud man. A fruitless endeavor it is to hold on to one’s soul in a world with that held so many but not one kept. Sold to the lowest bidder for the highest cost. An influenced influencers dream, my nightmare.
By Jared Long8 months ago in Chapters
My Experience As A Feeling Human
For the majority of my life, I have this deep desire to know everything. What’s going on? Who will be there? What are we? Where is this thing going? For me, knowing has always provided some form of comfort. It is an internal desire to have the answers. An attempt to prepare for the inevitability of failure and letdowns. It is the bracing of the wall, a bolstering of my defenses. If I know what is happening then I know what to expect, and how to behave. What this does is kills all-natural tendencies to give it your all until the situation allows you to. A showing of the cards, if you will. It’s hard to bluff when the other player can see your hand. The problem is, people don’t show their cards. They also do a hell of a job bluffing.
By Jared Long3 years ago in Humans
The List
John, woke up tired, hungover, and alone. "Here we go again," he thinks. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he stumbled his way to the kitchen, searching for a clean glass to fill with water, trying to still the pounding headache he acquired from the night before. "Why do I keep doing this to myself? I'm never drinking again," he says aloud.
By Jared Long3 years ago in Criminal