J. Otis Haas
Bio
Space Case
Achievements (9)
Stories (64/0)
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Today is your lucky day, Gemini. This is the first ever True and Accurate Horoscope you have ever received and the good news is that its Truths will hold True not just today, but every day for the rest of your life. That’s the bad news, too. You have been analyzed to the core of the depths of your being and consciousness. Based on our assessment you should stop reading now. Your history indicates that you are not ready. Answers may lie ahead but it will quickly become evident that even with the fog lifted rack and ruin may lay unavoidably in your way. Best of luck whichever path through these yellowed woods you choose, Gemini.
By J. Otis Haas3 years ago in Humans
A Modest Meal
It is said that Scientology was started after a wager made by Isaac Asimov to L. Ron Hubbard that the latter could not start a religion. It is said that a similar wager led to the creation of the restaurant I ate at tonight. It is uncertain whether it was Musk and Batali or Zuckerberg and Marco Pierre White, and one could never tell, for the kitchen was most certainly closed to prying eyes, but it was the same sort of combination of derring-do and disregard that led to the existence of Swift’s.
By J. Otis Haas3 years ago in Horror
Geoffrey Dahmer’s Almost Close Encounter
Geoffrey Dahmer did not notice the alien artifact in his kitchen at 6AM that Tuesday morning because he was laying in bed thinking about his life. Geoffrey Dahmer’s life had been mostly fine for the first 12 years, then suddenly it was not. No one cared that he spelled his name differently than the most famous cannibal necrophiliac serial killer in the world. No one cared and consequently Geoffrey was lonely and lived alone. He did almost everything alone.
By J. Otis Haas3 years ago in Horror
April Holiday
Six months after the mass suicides April received a cardboard box full of her twin brother’s personal effects from the police. She ignored it for a week, things accumulating in piles around it on the counter as she tried to make sense of her sudden inheritance. She opened the box the same morning she stared at the sun. The six-shooter was inside, sealed up in an evidence bag with her brother’s name and case number written on it in black marker. March Holiday. March and April. They’d been born thirteen minutes apart on either side of midnight and Dad had always had a sense of humor. Mom didn’t make it. Happy Birthday. April Fools.
By J. Otis Haas3 years ago in Families