Chris is a comedian based in Cairns, Australia. He takes writing very seriously, but only if he doesn't have to write serious stuff!
WE HAVE YOUR SON!
Hand-writing a ransom note is great, it shows the family you care about your work and puts that extra fear in them. They think that they are dealing with a true psychopath.
My formal apology to a random sex worker.
One winter I was in the small city of Brisbane where I'd just done a stand-up comedy show that finished late. As I walked back to my cheap, horrible hotel I decided was pretty hungry. At this point I'm elated, because my favourite burrito place is in Brisbane, so I decided to order a tasty bit of mexican food to be delivered to the hotel. The food delivery app says the food will be 20mins and then my phone goes flat. I plug my phone in to charge, and abandon everything else to fate. So I head out into the cool winter night to wait for my food. We don't really get any cooler weather in my home town so I'm chilling out, enjoying the cold and watching the steam on my breath dissipate into the night air.