The Unpopular Podcast Club: One Microphone, Zero Downloads, and Some Bad Jokes

Every day I’m churning out a daily podcast, speaking into my phone like a robotic content generator without a quality control switch (Chat GPT, anyone?) as I babble into my phone for 5 minutes at a time about absolutely nothing, like the amateur hack that I am.

Still, I've been doing it for three years now, so I guess you're wondering, what did I learn?

F**k all. Absolutely nothing.

I know this is Vocal, so I’m meant to make a listicle from all of the big life lessons garnered during this experience, but the truth is, I don’t know if I garnered any.

But here's the kicker: That's OK.

(Also, as a side note, I’m bored to tears of endless “life lessons” content being drip-fed to me by people who did ordinary stuff for a tiny period of time and then pretended their lives changed so they could write content. "I ate a keto diet for a week!" or "I followed a Navy Seals routine for the morning". Stop it please.)

So, in three years did I really learn nothing? Well, cynicism aside, of course, I learned something, and that something was that I got better at podcasting.

That's it!

It’s hard to pinpoint progress, it’s difficult to see change, it comes so slowly, and so gradually, it’s difficult to spot.

Ever try to watch the moon rise? I have. It’s so imperceptibly slow it doesn’t seem to move at all, and then suddenly you realise it’s halfway up in the sky. How did that happen?

(Watching the moon rise is also a very tedious thing to do. I wouldn’t much recommend it. I wonder in these TikTok days I even have an attention span...)

Anyway. This podcast thing. I’ve got better at podcasting. Well, the talking bit, at least. Not much better, but better. I went back and listened to the first few episodes and they weren’t as flowing as the later ones.

Earth-shattering stuff, huh? Not really. But does that mean I shouldn’t have done it?

No.

The point in doing things isn’t just to get a listicle out of it at the end. You hear me, fellow writers?!

I did it because I knew, as imperceptible as it might be, I had to get better at talking, even a bit, just as the moon has to rise. You cannot repeat something so frequently and not have it rewire your brain. Humans are pretty awesome like that. We adjust. We adapt. Getting better is often just about having the right habits. I think James Clear wrote a book on it, or something.

I perform stand-up comedy, so I knew a daily podcast would help my abiliy to think on my feet. It would also allow me to work on ideas, sound out jokes, try out material, get better at improvisation, and talk without saying the dreaded “uumm” or "errr".

But do I now have a popular podcast? F**k no.

Nothing I’ve ever done has been popular.

Nothing. I used to write blogs in the early 2000s. Not a single one was popular. I was in bands. Not a single band was popular. I vlogged for a year and my YouTube channel was so unpopular I still can’t monetise it due to a lack of followers.

Nothing I’ve ever done is popular but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.

This might sound like a loser convincing himself he’s actually a winner, but if we judge our creativity simply by the jury of mass consumption, we’re all screwed.

As David Bowie said, “Never play to the gallery”.

So my daily podcast rumbles on with no lessons learned, other than to keep on truckin’.

Is that a lesson? Do you want to take that away with you? Lesson 1: Keep on truckin’ – cos it’s all I’ve got.

Here are some final words on the matter: Create for you.

Create because you need to create. There is no other reason, there should be no other reason. Creativity should be a calling, a pull, an itch that must be scratched. Who cares if someone else thinks you’re scratching the wrong way?

Stop asking why you should do something and just do it. There is no wider answer to create than you want to. That’s enough. Your desire is enough.

Follow your passion, create, create, and create some more. That’s the only lesson. F**k everything else and focus on the process. It is, after all, the only goal.