Creatively Brave

I literally had the shakes and was alternating between chills and sweats. It was early evening on a cool Monday in November. For most of the day, the pain in my hips, sacrum, spine, and shoulders registered about an eight - on a scale that topped out at ten.

For the past eight months, exhaustion ruled my days. I endured intense ‘attacks’ of pain, especially along my spine and at my joints. Hot lesions often appeared in those places. My eyesight deteriorated and most days I couldn’t drive. I endured a long list of mysterious and debilitating symptoms.

I seemed to be on some undiagnosed disease ride that I never anticipated, certainly didn’t choose, and for which no cure was in sight. Every day was a struggle, physically AND emotionally. What was happening to me? I constantly fought my fear thoughts.

“I’m heading over there now,” I whispered to Steven, my partner, as I dug through my purse for car keys. I was grateful just to feel well enough to go.

His eyes expressed concern. “Lisa, Hon, you really don’t look good. Why don’t you stay home tonight? Why are you going?”

This wonderful man had so lovingly arranged a very special birthday surprise about a month earlier. It was a set of brushes and a one-on-one session with Karla - for my first ever watercolor lesson. Even on that initial attempt, and in spite of my pain, I brought home a lively, colorful Parrot and a new passion for creating watercolor!

Why wouldn’t I stay home that Monday evening?

Even though I was certain that Steven understood, I fought tears in response, “Because it’s the only thing in my week that brings me joy.”

I knew that when I mixed those lush colors on my palette and swept them across the paper, a wondrous thing would happen. My body pain would disappear. Even if it was only for an hour or two, I was filled with excitement instead of fear, purpose instead of weariness.

Almost mystically, watercolor connected me with profound calm and well-being. So yes, of course, I would drive across town to Karla’s studio. I would drive to the next state if I had to, if I could.

Hope

Creativity was, and still is, my escape into another dimension of happiness and hope.

Well over six years have passed since that Monday. But the years haven’t yet put all of the pain and unexpected illness behind me, as I so surely expected they would. My western medicine physicians have seemingly run every conceivable lab, test and scan. They’ve prescribed dozens of different pharmaceuticals to attempt to ease my pain and keep me functioning.

I’ve researched online for hundreds of hours, engaged in a plethora of alternative treatment modalities, and adhered to long stints of strict diets and regimens. But while I now feel somewhat better than I did then, so much of the physical struggle continues. Not to mention the emotional challenges of loss, frustration, anger, confusion, overwhelm, and more.

Accept It?

Recently, when my Primary Care Physician very caringly asked if I might consider accepting this as a ‘chronic illness’ (along with my altered existence), my response was a quick, clear and unequivocal, “NO!” Because I know that I can, and will again, have a thoroughly peaceful, healthy body.

Watercolor, acrylic, collage, journaling, photography, jewelry, and more. I’ve ventured into these at the invitation of my inner voice and yearnings. Each is creatively stimulating for me. Each offers the journey to another dimension that soothes my soul.

Creatively Brave

For me, trying a different creative form doesn’t just happen without some coaching and encouragement. Every time I challenge myself with a new medium, I overcome fears, set aside emotional blocks and release my illusion of ‘control’.

So I’ve clearly earned the moniker, ‘Creatively Brave’. It’s an experience that anyone can achieve - with a little help. It’s well worth the challenge.

Through creativity, my spirit fills with joy and hope as I align with the universal energy of infinite possibilities. It is this joy and hope that I wish to share with millions of others who relate to my story. Or know someone who does. And altogether, that’s just about everyone.

ABOUT CHRONIC ILLNESS

Chronic disease touches the lives of every American, in one way or another.

Q. What is chronic illness?

A. A chronic illness, as defined by the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics, is a disease or illness lasting three months or longer. About one-fourth of people with chronic conditions have one or more daily activity limitations, often understood as a hindrance or inability to perform major activities in one’s life. (1), (2)

Q. How many people are affected by chronic illnesses?

A. Nearly 60% of adult Americans have at least one chronic disease. Chronic conditions like diabetes, cancer, and cardiovascular disease are the leading causes of death in the United States. (3)

Q. How does age play a role?

A. Sixty percent are between the ages of 18 and 64. (4)

REFERENCES:

(1)

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Prevalence of Doctor-diagnosed Arthritis and Arthritis-attributable Activity Limitation—United States, (2003–2005) MMWR 2006;55:1089–1092. Accessed at

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5540a2.htm

(2)

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Wu SY, Green A. Projection of chronic illness prevalence and cost inflation. Santa Monica, CA: RAND Health; 2000. Accessed at http://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/overview/index.htm

(3)

Commentary on Chronic Disease Prevention in 2022, National Association of Chronic Disease Directors (NACDD), Decatur, GA ,

April 18, 2022. PDF Download: https://chronicdisease.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/FS_ChronicDiseaseCommentary2022FINAL.pdf

(4)

Chronic Care in America: A 21st Century Challenge, a study of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation & Partnership for Solutions: Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (September 2004 Update). “Chronic Conditions: Making the Case for Ongoing Care”. Accessed at

http://www.partnershipforsolutions.org/DMS/files/chronicbook2004.pdf