5 Signs You Need Couples Therapy

Every relationship has its ups and downs, moments when you are extremely excited about what is happening and how close you are to your partner, but also moments when you feel frustrated or feel your partner is more distant than usual.

Couples therapists advise you to have such a strategy: the best time to seek couples therapy might be when you feel happy in the relationship. If you wait too long to seek help from a therapist, you will find that too many challenges have arisen in your relationship and that bad habits have taken the place of good habits, along with resentment and anger.

Couples might try couples therapy in the following cases:

• trust issues

• infidelity

• poor communication

• inability to resolve conflicts

• infertility

• sexual problems

• dependencies

• individual problems that can damage the relationship

Here are some signs to look out for, to know when it's time to go to couple's psychotherapy:

1. Quarrels are more and more frequent

Have you noticed that the rhythm of your daily life has changed lately, that you are more conflict-oriented and that discussions turn into arguments? You might be tempted to think that these are "minor" arguments, or maybe you're giving yourself huge "hits" below the belt that ruin many aspects in their wake.

Regardless of the reason for the arguments, their pattern and frequency are important. The most important thing is to see a couples therapist, who can find out what led to this risky trajectory that causes you to fight constantly. Moreover, he may help you realize the significant issues that lie at the root of these seemingly "minor" quarrels.

2. You feel like you're speaking in different languages

Arguing isn't the only sign that something isn't working right when it comes to communication between partners. Sometimes you may feel like you and your partner don't speak the same language: what you're saying is very far from what your partner thinks they've heard, or vice versa.

A couples therapist can help you understand the differences in your communication styles and teach each of you how to adapt your style to communicate better and function better in your relationship.

3. The same issues surface when you argue

Here's a simple example: you may feel like you always have to nag your partner to take out the trash, or that they have to be on time when you go out, but there are much more important issues at stake here, like whether or not you're going to have children or whether or not you will ever get married.

If you feel like you can never solve your problems, or if you feel like you're going around in the same circle when you argue about important topics (children, marriage), couples therapy could help you discover the source of the problem and figure out if are you compatible or not .

4. Trust has been breached

One of the most common reasons why people turn to couples therapy is the need to get help to overcome a major impasse: one partner's trust has been shaken. Maybe it was infidelity in the form of sex, maybe it was just an affair on an emotional level, maybe one of you had a series of lies about money and everything related to finances.

In any case, rebuilding the foundation of trust in a couple can be a process aided by an environment such as a psychotherapist's office, a place where both partners can express their views and vulnerability.

5. You pretend everything is fine, even though you know it's not

Some couples fight or fight on the outside, but other couples try to "hide" things under the rug, as far away from the eyes of others as possible. If you have found yourself ignoring important issues or trying to pretend that everything is fine in your relationship with your partner, you may want to consider couples therapy.

When you keep it all to yourself, this seems to work for a while, but remember: pretending that everything is fine between the two of you is never an effective long-term strategy. A couples therapist can help you learn how to approach troubling issues in ways that work for both partners.

What are the benefits of couples therapy?

Regardless of your situation, every couple can benefit from attending couples therapy and gaining a set of tools to deepen their connection with their loved one.

"The benefits of couples therapy are endless. The simple act of seeking couples therapy can be a demonstration of the meaning and importance you place on your relationship," says psychologist Nikki Young.

"My goal in couples therapy is to teach couples how to journey through life together as a team," she adds.

Benefits of couples therapy can include:

• Have a third-party mediator available to help facilitate constructive conversations

• You can find new ways to communicate with your partner

• You will eliminate suffering and conflicts in the relationship

• You will realize the value of the time spent together with your partner

• You have a time slot strictly dedicated to improving your relationship

• Go to a safe and calm space to discuss difficult topics

• You will practice techniques to enhance emotional and physical intimacy

• You will form action plans to make your relationship a priority

• You will identify harmful patterns in your relationship

• Therapy will help restore mutual trust

• You will establish healthy boundaries in the relationship

• You will have a therapist who can identify underlying issues and emotions that you may not know exist

• You will discover and develop valuable conflict management skills

• You will find common ground and learn to relate to each other in a constructive way

• You will feel supported and listened to in your relationship

• You will build skills to identify your needs and wants in a relationship