When I want Success

Since I have been in Cleveland I've not had the best luck looking for jobs. I've only ever had three the nursing home job as their part-time receptionist, Taco Bell Cantina (e.i went out of business.), McDonald's on the east side (didn't give me a schedule nor did they know I got hired), and a few others. It's not been the best track record until recently.

I figured out what works for me Seasonal jobs while going to school full time. I realised that working full-time is impossible then I started thinking seasonal is perfect to make enough money for the extra. Now, I'm asking for strength from God to help me through these tough times. I will admit had I known that I could do seasonal jobs while going to college I would have done that.

I have been nervous about sharing my story with everyone. I have been know by others to be a liar. But what is a liar? What is the truth? Someone who doesn't have to convince themselves that something has happened.

All of my life I was afraid of success being told you will never have this or have that. You don't deserve it. That mentality stayed with me and with the help of intensive coping therapy I still feel as though I am still struggling. Maybe not as bad as I used to struggle.

So when I first started college talking to professionals about my life my students started to make sense easier so long as I didn't have to deal with toxic professors. In my so far college career I've only ever had to deal with two. I think the hardest is the milestones to cover that's the key to success. Overcoming, and practicing forgiveness.

Something I've had truly understood and just now trying to let go of those intense feelings. I have been growing a lot as a person sense I've been living in Cleveland. Yes I have been struggling but who doesn't. Some days are hard then most.

The one thing I have been struggling for real on is the fear of success. Now to dive in further into this feeling, it's the price of success. We all need money, money is a essential way of living something vital in this time of inflations.

We all know how vital it is to survive bills, and such. The struggles all of us face on a daily bases is real. A lot of people work 9-5 jobs getting underpaid and undervalued feeling as though they don't have time for lives of their own.

All of us need that persona we all have needs but working so much never making times for yourself is it really worth it? I am 34 years old, my husband and I always make time for each other. We both have a daily routine working together always making it work. We have chores, we work hard, yet we remember always two things self-care, and each other. Most people would realise if I'm on my last dollar what do I do?

The constant struggles we face, we always remember each other and to always talk.

I can remember before I arrived in Cleveland when it was time to book my flight I cried for so long because I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with my husband. He held me tight when I cried stroking my hair saying this words.

"We will reunite Emi please don't cry. I will make this work. I know this will be a struggle for the both of us but I love you. You will receive the mail out for my green card, we will have a home in the states, and you my dear will get your degree in social work. I believe in you."

In the mist of that moment I wasn't worried about my degree, I was scared of leaving the island that is my home, my husband, my friends, the community I was apart of in Piat, Grande Riviere. To me those people my husband, neighbours, and friends that was my community.

Little did I know after the horrific things I went through in Cleveland living at the Stockbridge I would have a small community there with all of my neighbours knowing my name and my husband ready to join this community and my landlord saying just tell us when your husband is here we will make him a key.

That feels good to have, to go to a coffee shop as it used to be the coffee and Chai Latte's I used to drink was way to sweet. You see Rituals Coffee House in Saint Lucia the Chai Latte isn't to sweet it was just right.

However, the best part was today on Thanksgiving taking the bus to E. 79th street They had Twister Berry Blend juice something I hadn't had since I lived in husband's home country. And my second home too.

I did learn from my husband a home isn't a place it's a person. A home isn't a building it's the people in it. So when I say I miss Saint Lucia I miss the people who live there and the people who live there because let's just face it. The island is gorgeous the landscapes, and How has your confidence as a writer changed during the course? architecture reminds me of New Orleans.

The reason why I want success is for my family. Now I know that I have to put my feelings aside about how I feel when it comes to success. I need to brave and face that fear. The fear of having money and attracting negative people that's what I fear. But regardless I will attract all people.

Please take the time to leave a tip, comment, leave a heart to show your support, and thank you so much to my audience for reading believe in my voice. For all future authors I believe in you, it's a constant struggle and making sure your voice is out there.