To the one who can never be mine!!

The greatest love often means enduring the pain of seeing your beloved find happiness with someone else, even if it hurts. I've come to terms with the fact that our story might not have a fairy tale ending, but I find peace in knowing I've given it my all.

Every day, I wake up with the reality crashing down: you're not mine. It's a truth I've had to swallow, like a bitter pill that refuses to go down easy. There's this ache that never seems to fade, a constant reminder of what could've been but never was. It's like watching a movie where the ending you hoped for never materializes, leaving you with this hollow feeling in your chest.

Every time I stumble upon your photos, videos, or anything related to you, I try to caution myself not to fall deeper, to steer clear. But my heart, it's stubborn when it comes to you. I dread the day we meet in person, unsure how I'll keep my feelings in check then when even at a distance, you have this pull over me.

Loving you feels like navigating in the wrong direction, hoping for the right destination, and making all the wrong decisions while waiting for the right ones to magically appear. I'm fully aware it's misguided, utterly wrong, yet this heart of mine insists on believing, whether it's in truths or lies, especially when it concerns you.

I've accepted it, you know? That you can't be mine. But acceptance doesn't mean the pain goes away. It's like a dull throb that I've learned to live with, but it's always there, lurking in the background. Sometimes, I catch myself daydreaming about us, about what life would be like if things were different. But then reality slaps me back to the present, reminding me that fantasies don't come true.

What is that shitty feeling that comes to tell you that you aren't important?

Love is indeed a paradox, much like smoking cigarettes to ease stress despite knowing the harm it causes. It's akin to breathing in the frosty air of a winter morning, where each exhale reveals the fog, inevitable yet beautiful in its way. Love often defies logic, drawing us in despite the risks, and weaving its complexities into the fabric of our existence.

If, after a decade or more, you were to call or text me, asking if I still love you, I wouldn't have the strength to lie and say that I don't. Loving you isn't just something I did; it's something I can see myself doing for a lifetime, with joy and honor, without reservation or remorse.

And if the day ever comes when you realize someone loves you unconditionally, someone willing to do so for a lifetime, I'll gladly acknowledge that my love has found completion. It'll mark the end of this unrequited journey, transforming it into a mutual exchange of affection.

Even if someday I find someone new to share my life with, even if I embark on a journey of dating or marriage, my feelings for you will remain unchanged. You hold a unique place in my heart, a sanctuary I can't replicate with anyone else. I'll forever cherish the moments we shared and the love I've felt for you. It doesn't matter if it's unreciprocated; what matters is that you're a part of it, and that's what makes it significant.

It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it. The longing, the yearning, the sheer agony of knowing that the one you love will never be yours. And yet, despite it all, I can't seem to let go completely. Maybe it's foolish, maybe it's masochistic, but there's a part of me that still hopes, dreams, still clings to the possibility that someday, somehow, we'll find our way back to each other. But deep down, I know it's just wishful thinking. And so, I carry on, with this ache in my heart, knowing that you can never be mine.

Even though reality tells me we can't be together, I refuse to stop dreaming. In my dreams and imagination, we exist harmoniously, and that's where I choose to live out our story. This journey is about embracing the dream, even as I navigate through the pain of letting you go. I'll continue to pen down my emotions, intertwined with the ache of unrequited love, struggling to understand how anyone could ever let go of such a profound connection.

The greatest human suffering: not receiving the love from the ones we cared about most.