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Thought Dumping?

A new thing that's happened in my writing - any thoughts?

By Hope MartinPublished 8 months ago 3 min read

So. I have a weird thing that's happened.

Today, I was re-reading some articles I've written in the last couple days, and some comments (actually only one in particular that I wrote today) and I have realized, that I have typed things I don't recall consciously thinking.

I did quite a bit of it in my article about my little chihuahua - but seeing as the nature of that article, I can let myself off the hook for that. Still, it happens sporadically in most of the articles I write, I've noticed. Like little one or two-sentence tangents in my thoughts. Some of them are noticable, some of them are not.

Today, I made a comment to someone that I don't actually know, I wasn't there for the situation, I had an opinion on something - but I did not convey that message well. Not only was it poorly worded to reflect my turbulent mood, but there were some intrusive thoughts that popped into that comment. I am opinionated, but I generally try very hard to be more couth than crass about my opinions. And, there were a couple of sentences that I typed and when I noticed them (unfortunately after I pressed submit) I was a little surprised at myself.

Like, my fingers typed it, but my brain didn't register actually thinking that. The comment I'm referring to probably got read as extremely rude and opinionated. And it was! But it was a lot more rude when I read it than I meant it. There were a few sentences in there that were strongly worded - but I didn't actually think of that particular string of words that I can recall.

Like, I did not mean to literally tell someone they aren't entitled to an opinion just because they feel a certain way. Because that's stupid. Everyone is entitled to an opinion! So why did I type that? That's not the kind of person I am, or try to be. And why didn't I catch it earlier? And literally, my comment was defending other people's ability to write what they want.

Seriously? Why would I do that? I'm a straightforward person anyway, so that doesn't do me any favors when I'm typing out an opinion that could be considered aggressive or passionate.

I owe that person an apology because I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say something stupid like that while preaching about not being exactly like I was apparently feeling (I hope that sentence made sense). That's not who I am, and I'm a little...ashamed of myself? Even if that's not something I consciously meant to type, I still did it.

So, I am extremely sorry to the person it was aimed at by the way, that's not what I meant. I was just saying...well you know. I made my point. And I stand by my point. But I didn't mean it as rude as it could be read after I went back and re-read what I typed - which I should have done before I pushed submit. I'm feeling mugly human - and that was a very mugly moment, and I'm not proud of it. I sounded like a cunt and I promise - that vibe was not intentional.

As for this weirdness... I have been under an enormous amount of stress lately, and in a weird moody non-motivated funk. Also, my sleep is all kinds of wonky. Is this something that people could do while in this state? I am curious if any other writers have experienced this, or any kind of odd brain-dumping that happens to them while writing.

What did you do to stop the bad habit (asking for a friend)?

Time is precious, so thank you for giving my article some of yours to read. I hope you enjoyed it, and please feel free to subscribe!

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About the Creator

Hope Martin

Find my fictional fantasy book "Memoirs of the In-Between" on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and hardback.

You can also find it in the Apple Store or on the Campfire Reading app.

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Comments (2)

  • Naomi Gold8 months ago

    Jazzy sent me this link. Before you replied to me, I wasn’t aware of your existence. And to be honest, I did not read your reply. I know people always say, “I stopped reading when…” but I meant it. I stop reading when someone is emotionally triggered, because I know whatever they’ve said has nothing to do with me. They’re releasing pent-up emotions they’re carrying. A balanced conversation with reciprocal listening (or reading) cannot be had when one or both parties are emotional. I stop engaging and walk away. When I saw you said I “need to calm down” I read no further—because only angry people tell others to calm down, LOL. I have no idea what else you said. BUT I was curious about your work. I read and commented on a few of your stories. I’m delighted to have discovered you, regardless of the circumstances. And I hope things in your life calm down. I know that’s really what you meant when you told me to calm down. I’m right there with you. Life has been coming at me at full speed lately, and I could use some stillness and rest. You are a great writer. But also, you’re a human being, and prone to emotions that aren’t always acknowledged in the moment, or expressed in the most constructive way. You have nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve all been there. 🩷

  • Jazzy 8 months ago

    Oh my goodness, I think I know the comments you’re talking about! And even if I don’t, it’s still amazing that you took the time to go over what you’ve said and look at it critically! Sometimes words come out weird but you can say whatever you want you’re a writer! I’m sorry you’re not sleeping well, and I’m sorry about Comet as well! You are a sweet person and a few comments doesnt change that! 💕

Hope MartinWritten by Hope Martin

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