THE SKY VALLEY

The view was and still is practically my solace, because the feeling that comes after being sad and stumbling on this was surreal for me at the first glance.

It was a mind war, contemplating on leaving this spot and going back to the darkness I was running from back at home. My thoughts were always on a jumbled state when I slowly dragged along the stone path, leaving behind the magic that splayed above the valley.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Father was not keen on having me under his roof, being a nuisance, as he puts it, and not being matured enough to take care of the home, and his drunk state every night.

Were these experiences part of being 14?

I never faced all these issues in the past years, and I thought to myself after every beating I got, "I WANT TO BE FIFTEEN AND BE HAPPY".

Mom was buried somewhere close to the garden at the back of the house, and I always look towards the stone facing me, with the bold HEATHER MCCAIN printed on it, silently wishing that she was here with Dad to make him happy and avoid using the bandages for every broken bone I got.

I always watch the neighbour's kids running down the concrete path, flying high kites, giggling with their water balls as they splashed on each other as their mother watched them and knitting at the same time.

The stillness of my home reminded me what I was lacking as I watched them keenly, and the thought of being called weird for the third time stopped me from going over to them.

I got a beating that night when my father was called over by the neighbour with the words from her, "I DO NOT WANT YOUR DAUGHTER SNOOPING AROUND MY KIDS".

I could have sworn that I hid behind the curtains, but I guess she was too wary of me, which surprisingly, made me feel satisfied that I was noticed by someone. I thought the beating was worth it, but regret filled me as I felt stiff with pain on my legs and back.

I turned fifteen with eyes filled with excitement, never minding the absence of candles and cakes, and my father. It felt like a good day, or so I thought till my father came back, and stumbled on my smiling face towards him.

"TODAY, I turned fifteen, Father", I exclaimed with a clear smile on my face.

"GET RID OF YOURSELF, YOU INSOLENT BRAT!! "ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU MURDERED HEATHER??"

"SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND HAD A BLOODY AILMENT THAT GOT HER FIGHTING FOR YEARS WHILE STILL TAKING CARE OF YOU, I NEVER WANTED YOU", Father said with a snot running down his nose, and bloodshot eyes.

I never figured that it was my fault till today, and that was the first time that I had a breaking point, sobbing, running out of the house with the soles of my feet hitting the ground with no care in the world.

I stopped, hands on my knees, panting and waiting to catch my breath with the never-ending tears, lifting up face and having my breath hitch at the sight before me.

It was like a galaxy on full display, and I could not help but cry more, strangely happy at the same time. I laid on the hard ground, looking up at the night sky, and wishing I would be up there.

The valley made it more nostalgic, and I figured that I could not recall most of my childhood events, and the dark eyes my mother had was as a result of what father told me.

"WOULD YOU BE HAPPY IF I JOINED YOU, MOTHER?", I screamed so loud that my echo resounded multiple times.

I went back home, and looked at myself in the mirror, my reflection was different from my dad's or the neighbours I see every day, and I once heard them call me autistic, although I barely know what it means.

Every day, for a week, I went to the sky valley at night, and father barely acknowledged me, hunger overwhelmed me, but mother's garden gave me enough fruits to munch in a day.

The walk to the SKY VALLEY felt good, as I looked up to the bright moon in the sky. I wanted something more as I gazed up to the sky, and I had a thought.

Rushing towards my usual spot, my curiosity peaked more as I made my way up to the sky valley, and getting to the top, I felt a strong wind, and heat at the same time. The best part was now being close enough to see the twinkling stars, and the bright constellations.

I whispered words that I could not put out, and going to the edge, I looked below and saw the trees, and the train track that I have been to with mother, on multiple occasions.

I sobbed so hard, that I missed a step, and tumbled down the valley, getting stuck on a tree with broken bones, and my eyes clouded with a hot liquid.

I felt hot and cold, numb on ever part of me, and looked up to the brightly lit sky with a blank face, but it felt so wrong and right at that moment, that I thought about mother and father, and all the years that I could recall that we spent together.

Compared to the pain I was feeling the past year, the one I felt at this moment was so painless as I was drifting slowly and away from reality underneath THE SKY VALLEY.