She makes me feel uncomfortable 😣

Learning to Let Go of the Need for External Validation

As a second-year university student, I've come to realize that one of my biggest challenges is learning to let go of the need for external validation. I've always cared too much about what others think of me, and it's something that I've been working on improving. However, it's still difficult when someone gives me a judgmental look or seems to dislike me for no apparent reason.

Recently, I moved into a small apartment with my younger sister, as the school hostels were already filled. We live in a duplex building with apartments on the ground floor and upstairs. I've noticed that some of the people in the building seem to be hostile towards us, perhaps because we're not as wild as they are and don't fit in with their crowd. One girl in particular caught my attention. She's really pretty, but I felt like she hated me or somethin

My first encounter with her was at a salon near our building. She smiled at me, but I could sense a bit of hostility. Throughout my conversation with the hairdresser, she stared at me, and I felt uncomfortable. I rushed the conversation and agreed to the first price thrown at me, instead of bargaining like I usually would. I made an appointment and quickly forgot about the encounter.

Two weeks later, I saw her at the entrance to our building. She kept staring at my leg, and I immediately felt self-conscious. I didn't think much of it at the time, but it bothered me. The next time I saw her was at a lesson organized by some of our neighbors on our floor. She had a smile, but as soon as she saw me, it disappeared. She looked at me like, "Oh, why is she here?" I almost felt like going back to my room, but I decided not to let her affect my decisions. The next day, I saw her at a bookstore and gave her a nod of acknowledgement, but she just stared down at me. At that point, I made a conscious decision to ignore her and focus on myself

As on these encounters, I realized that I cannot control how others perceive me. It's not worth my time and energy to try to please everyone, and not everyone will like me. It's also possible that the girl in my building has her own personal issues or biases that have nothing to do with me. Instead of trying to figure out why she's behaving the way she is, I'm focusing on building positive relationships with the people who appreciate me and treat me with kindness and respect.

This experience has taught me the importance of self-acceptance and staying true to myself, even when it feels uncomfortable. It's also shown me the power of writing as a tool for self-reflection and personal growth. Writing this piece has helped me to process my thoughts and feelings, and I hope that it can inspire others who may be struggling with similar issues.

If you're struggling with the need for external validation, here are some tips that have helped me:

1. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This can include things like exercise, healthy eating, meditation, and therapy.

2. Seek support from friends and family: Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Talk to them about your struggles and ask for their help and advice.

3. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment: Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, or hiking, find something that makes you happy and do it regularly.

Remember, you are worthy and deserving of love and respect, regardless of what others may think or say. Keep being true to yourself, and the right people will come into your life.