Ohhh, the B of it all

I’m late to A, B, C, and D for Penny Fuller’s “The A-Z of Unusual Words Challenge”, but I want to try to join for the next letter and I get a kick out of checking off boxes in order. So, before I do competition E, I figure I should do A, B, C and D, even though I can’t vie for the top B-spots and that sweet $1 tip. I’ve already done letter A (which you can find here) and am chugging along now to letter B.

I went straight to google and tipelty tapped “odd words that start with B” into the search bar. I ignored the AI overview (those things will get you in trouble every time. One day you’re asking an innocent question and the next you’ve been led down a fake flight of stairs in a basement in Nevada filled with rattlesnakes singing Chluthu hymns).

After wisely sidestepping that kind of trouble, I clicked on a link and looked…then I laughed.

Bellarmine (meaning to the dictionary and meaning to me)

Technically the official Merriam Webster dictionary definition is: "A narrow-necked large-bellied stoneware drinking jug typically adorned with the figure of a bearded man."

But I found the word first here, with a definition of “large jug with rounded belly and narrow neck”. Unlike my entry for the letter A, where I scrolled and scrolled, the minute I hit this list and I saw this definition I knew I’d found The Choice. Also, I laughed. When I say I laughed, I laughed. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I wheezed a little, my lungs crackled just a bit, then I coughed on a giggle and laughed some more.

What's so funny?

Me. It’s me that's funny.

Why?

Well…because it’s like someone described me perfectly from a photo. Big ole fupa pooch, puffy narrow neck, sagging turkey wattle-bottle, a chortle chuggle energy of a chortle chuggle jug. Never has a concept described me more since the whole “You look identical to this floofed out chicken in this random black and white high end-photo…of a floofed out chicken” scandal in my house.

More than a chicken with some cluck-clucks and and goofy feathered hair sticking out all which ways, I contain The Multitudes that hydrates a peep, even as I rolly polly my way down ole jug hill to ole jug hell and back up to ole jug heaven again.

Hold on…let me dig out a good ole laugh cry emoji😂, pour a libation out, and toast to the perfect description of my chuckle buckle jelly belly. (Whatever you do, do NOT look that up on urban dictionary. That is NOT what I'm referencing.)

I am, to all poets and bards, bellarmine.

Poem:

Bellarmine

Bella meen, Bella mine, Big belly fine

They painted me, rotund purple and green

~

I shouted to me, give me some wine,

for I am the queen-bubbled aubergine

~

The flatterers, lickspittles, butter-me-ups

insisted I must be alaudine

~

But certainly, rotund-me knows whats up

For I am a clay built bellarmine

~

I am a clay built bellarmine

with a big fat belly and skinny neck

~

I am a thickity aubergine

with a throat wibble wattler under my peck

~

I’m filled with water to keep my wine clean

My butt is as big as my belly is swole

Jokes from my lips are a wee bit obscene

Sip on my chuckle, then drink me down whole.

~

I am a clay built bellarmine,

Bella Meen, Bella Mine, with a big belly sheen

Bow to me, juggery, aubergine queen

I am a clay built bellarmine

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Thanks for visiting my page. I added this little blurb on Entry Letter A just to see how it works out. So far I like it.

If you'd like to see more of my work here are two of my favorite poems that I've written:

Butter Cream: https://vocal.media/poets/butter-cream

When we were young: https://vocal.media/poets/when-we-were-young-m7bv010dxa

I promise they’re not as goofy as my poem for Letter B