Oh—You’re a Writer!

I live in a 55+ community. Some of us still work, but most of the residents fill their days with exercise classes, card games, Mahjong, Bingo, and various social clubs. Since the community is in South Florida, the pool is always a popular location. Evenings offer regular activities like “Tipsy Tuesdays and concerts or dance bands on Friday nights. Of course, all the evening activities are over by no later than 9 o’clock. The old people mustn’t stay out too late or they could have an accident driving their golf carts home.

By now, I’m sure you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with writing. Well, here’s the answer. With over 5,000 residents in this community, I’m always meeting someone new. Many of my friends and acquaintances introduce me as a writer or author. That introduction is almost always followed up with the new person saying, “Oh, you write? I’ve always wanted to do that, but I have no idea how to start. Where do you get your ideas from?”

I do my best to be supportive and tell them that ideas for stories are all around us. Inspiration might come from a sign on a passing truck or a news story. An idea might spring from watching a bird roosting in a tree or your favorite TV show. All that’s needed is an open mind and the ability to observe your surroundings. Inevitably, I make the mistake of asking them what it is they want to write.

“I want to write a memoir for my grandkids.”

Yup, I had a feeling that’s where the conversation was heading. I may encourage them with, “I’m sure they will love that.” Secretly, I’m thinking, ‘Why are you wasting what little time you have left on something that will never get read’? Yes, that sounds cold and cynical, but the truth often is. You live in Florida and your grandkids are in New York or Ohio, or any place other than Florida. You see them, maybe twice a year, and video chat once every month or two. Do you actually think they will ever care about a family trip you took to Disney when their mother or father was twelve?

Memoirs should be for people that have done memorable things. Someone who backpacked across Europe or Asia hiked the Andes, or built a billion-dollar company from scratch. Not the average work-a-day person who lives the same type of life that everyone else on the planet does. Do you really think a story about a family trip to Niagara Falls thirty years ago will cause a teenager to drop his video game controller and about read it? Not likely is the honest answer.

I get it. We all want to think we have a legacy to leave to those who will come after us. What we seem to overlook is the true legacy isn’t the trips or family get-togethers, it’s the grandkids, great-grandkids, and so on.

People who say they want to write a memoir for their grandkids are lying to themselves. They want to write a memoir in the hope’s future generations won’t forget they existed. Should I ask my neighbors if they know the names of their great-grandparents on both sides of the family, I’m sure the answer would be a resounding “No”. I know I can’t. Chances are, if there was an old family bible where people recorded births, weddings, and deaths, it got thrown away years ago.

In conclusion, if someone were to ask me how to write a memoir and I was to answer honestly, I would start with a question. Have you ever walked on the moon, written a best seller, or run for president? If their answer is no, I would reply, “Don’t waste your time.”