I live in a 55+ community. Some of us still work, but most of the residents fill their days with exercise classes, card games, Mahjong, Bingo, and various social clubs. Since the community is in South Florida, the pool is always a popular location. Evenings offer regular activities like “Tipsy Tuesdays and concerts or dance bands on Friday nights. Of course, all the evening activities are over by no later than 9 o’clock. The old people mustn’t stay out too late or they could have an accident driving their golf carts home.
By now, I’m sure you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with writing. Well, here’s the answer. With over 5,000 residents in this community, I’m always meeting someone new. Many of my friends and acquaintances introduce me as a writer or author. That introduction is almost always followed up with the new person saying, “Oh, you write? I’ve always wanted to do that, but I have no idea how to start. Where do you get your ideas from?”
I do my best to be supportive and tell them that ideas for stories are all around us. Inspiration might come from a sign on a passing truck or a news story. An idea might spring from watching a bird roosting in a tree or your favorite TV show. All that’s needed is an open mind and the ability to observe your surroundings. Inevitably, I make the mistake of asking them what it is they want to write.
“I want to write a memoir for my grandkids.”
Yup, I had a feeling that’s where the conversation was heading. I may encourage them with, “I’m sure they will love that.” Secretly, I’m thinking, ‘Why are you wasting what little time you have left on something that will never get read’? Yes, that sounds cold and cynical, but the truth often is. You live in Florida and your grandkids are in New York or Ohio, or any place other than Florida. You see them, maybe twice a year, and video chat once every month or two. Do you actually think they will ever care about a family trip you took to Disney when their mother or father was twelve?
Memoirs should be for people that have done memorable things. Someone who backpacked across Europe or Asia hiked the Andes, or built a billion-dollar company from scratch. Not the average work-a-day person who lives the same type of life that everyone else on the planet does. Do you really think a story about a family trip to Niagara Falls thirty years ago will cause a teenager to drop his video game controller and about read it? Not likely is the honest answer.
I get it. We all want to think we have a legacy to leave to those who will come after us. What we seem to overlook is the true legacy isn’t the trips or family get-togethers, it’s the grandkids, great-grandkids, and so on.
People who say they want to write a memoir for their grandkids are lying to themselves. They want to write a memoir in the hope’s future generations won’t forget they existed. Should I ask my neighbors if they know the names of their great-grandparents on both sides of the family, I’m sure the answer would be a resounding “No”. I know I can’t. Chances are, if there was an old family bible where people recorded births, weddings, and deaths, it got thrown away years ago.
In conclusion, if someone were to ask me how to write a memoir and I was to answer honestly, I would start with a question. Have you ever walked on the moon, written a best seller, or run for president? If their answer is no, I would reply, “Don’t waste your time.”
About the Creator
Mark Gagnon
I have spent most of my life traveling the US and abroad. Now it's time to create what I hope are interesting fictional stories.
I have 2 books on Amazon, Mitigating Circumstances and Short Stories for Open Minds.
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Comments (8)
I guess if you opt out of your children's lives and choose to live in an old folks community miles away from them, they might care less about the details of your life and never bother to read your memoir 😁
I think you're wrong tbh. I wish my dad had written Memoirs. After he died there were often things I wish I could ask him. I'd wonder about his experiences or times in his life. I'd rack my brain for conversations we had, dredge up as many details as I could remember and then second guess myself and think I was remembering wrong. I would have treasured a memoir. It wouldn't have been widely read, sure. But it would have meant the world to me.
You my friend, speak my language. I love being brutally honest! Like I hate sugar coating things and giving people a false sense of hope. Memoirs are so boring if all that the person did was mundane everyday things!
Harsh! But true, I think, mostly. Yet, I wish I had memoirs of my mother or grandmother. And anything written by my sister, even a diary, would be gold to me. And Pernoste . . . I could read what he has to say all day long. He never stops thinking about everything in the universe. But, yeah, a grandpa I barely knew who never really did anything? Maybe not, unless it was a candid digging deep into all those things he never spoke about in life. I don't know... maybe everybody is fascinating to me if they really open up. Since they don't, generally, you're probably right. I'll stop babbling like an idiot now, LOL Nice story💙Anneliese
Well said, and for most, probably correct. I think it may depend on the person and their relationships with their ancestor. I would love to that my grandmother had written a memoir. I would eat it up. However, when I think of some of my Mom's grandchildren, who spent their living thousands of miles away from her, I realize they probably wouldn't care.
Ah, but I did waste my time and plan on doing it some more. Perhaps a memoir is more for the author than the readers. A way to purge our feelings and get a new prospective on our previous mistakes and successes. It's never too late, Mark. Give it a go!
Aw very honest point of view. Although, not to disagree, but I inherited my grandma's writings and memoir when she died. It means the world to me, I'm glad she still speak with me. Excellent perspective tho!
I love the brutal honesty and I share your sentiments. Though, there certainly is a part of me that writes in search of immortality. It's comforting to know my stories will be etched on the internet for as long as it exists.