Mahalia and Me

I told my grandma when I was four years that I wanted to be a singer. I asked her to teach me. She said No Mattina I can't teach you. You have to learn from school and church. So I did my school work since age 5 and never looked back. I sung in every choir I could possibly sing in. I was performing since age 8. Singing inspired me to do well in school. It even inspired me to make A's. As I got older I asked my grandma about my parents especially about Mom. I wanted to know what happen to her and her dreams. Grandma explained that it runs in the family where parents leave before their children. My father left before we knew him she said. My mother was a good woman, pretty and can sing. She would worked hard cleaning houses and working every job she could to provide. She also had a dream to sing. And then Grandma showed her only copy of this beautiful Gospel Singer. Your mother loved Mahalia Jackson and she would sing everyone of her songs by heart. Take this Mattina, this is my gift to you from your mother. I kissed and hugged my grandmother. She said I know you have been working hard in school and doing well. I wanted to inspire you to fulfill the dreams of your mother. She wanted to sing gospel. In fact she was a lead choir singer and Preacher's Singer. A lead choir singer means that they wanted her to do solos a lot in church. And a preacher's singer means she would sing so beautiful that the preacher would do a sermon based on her singing. Mattina I want you to go to school don't go the church way yet. Because your mother did and they loved her dearly. I say a little too much that they called her Little Mahalia. Then some time after when they found her singing other songs and wanting a career in gospel, they kick her out of the church. And that's what torn your mother down, she was so hurt that she could not keep her soundness. Your grandpa and I tried to encourage her. We tried to stop her from giving up on her dreams and preserving for you but she was angry. And pretty soon her health begin to deteriorate over her grudges. I say this to you now because you are becoming a young woman and you should know.

Grandma I could work and go to school. Mr. Bernard at the store asked me to work for him said Mattina. Grandma smiled and she said that I am smart. And she said that I can take the job as long as I make it to school on time and do my studies. So now I am working at the store for Mr. Bernard. The pay is good and the hours are great. After some weeks, Mr. Bernard offered to give me a pay increase. And it was Summer, school was out and I could work anytime I wanted to because grandma said as long as I get back before dark. Plus I had time to practice my singing. Especially when the store is empty. I would sing Just a Closer Walk with Thee. One time Mr. Bernard caught me. And he admired my singing but he frowned upon me becoming a singer. He said you got good skills, great customer service and a can do attitude. Singing is a hit and miss career. And I had my first argument with Mr. Bernard and he abruptly stopped the argument and said he would hear no more. So I had to hum in the store otherwise I would get fired or suffer a pay reduction. Then school started and I had to take less hours and that really turn things for the bad at my job. I had to make it up during the holidays and Summer. Then came this once in a lifetime to perform for the greats at my school. It was the Talent Show where famous alumnus would crowned the winner. I asked grandma and she said that I could go but Mr. Bernard I lied to. I went and sung Just a Closer Walk with Thee. There were others who were better I thought. The talent was pretty good and the judges were into every talent. Although there were some that were terrible. And I won. When I came back to the store, Mr. Bernard said Jimmie told me where you went. No no no you're fired. I would have made you Manager. But go home and I will send you the check. I said I did it for my mother. I did it for my grandmother. You think just because you are my boss that you are my father. I am never coming back to this store. I have talent. And you can't deny me.