Looking back

I started writing long before I signed up to Vocal, but I have always struggled to stay focused and motivated.

The appeal of Vocal Media was the ability to self-publish. Prior to finding this platform, my options were to post on social media or just keep my writing to myself until I produced a full manuscript. Neither option appealed to me. I have worked out over the years that one of my weaknesses is my lack of attention span. I tend to be easily distracted and do not enjoy sitting still for any length of time. I have often found that if I get stuck on a section of a story or writing project, if I walk away and change my activity, I can compose what I want in my head and return to finish the segment to my satisfaction.

Solving my occasional Writer’s Block, however, does not solve my fickle attention losing interest in my current work and finding inspiration to start an entirely new project.

18 months ago, I published my first article an open letter that was a confessional of sorts entitled The First Step - An open Letter: Why I Choose To Write. I’ve included a link if you feel so inclined to have a look. In it, I forced myself to be honest about my motivations for starting to write.

Without repeating the letter again, it boiled down to this: I had managed to embed my entire identity in my job. And as much as I love my job, I was not happy about having no identity outside of my job and being a mother. Nothing that wasn’t just for me. No hobbies. I hadn’t picked up a book in months that wasn’t related to my job which was depressing, I’ve always been an avid reader). I needed a change. And Id put these thoughts and feelings into Facebook messages with friends. I had told my best friends I wanted to write but lacked the motivation to stick with it.

Of course, Facebook Ads was doing what they do best and within a day, ads for Vocal Media were popping up in my feeds. Against my usual pattern, I checked them out. I didn’t click on the ads. We can’t have FB thinking they are right! So, I went to Google search instead. Once I’d verified it was a legitimate site, I got to writing my letter. I published a week later.

My letter was meant to keep me honest and accountable to myself. My Profile picture is the main photo from the article, a little reminder for the moments I lose my way. I feel it has served, and continues to serve, its purpose.

I will revisit my letter at some point. I haven’t edited it since publishing and I know my skills have improved since that first article.

I also openly admit that non-fiction articles are not my strong point. My favourite genres are fantasy and fiction. Mike Singlton recently published and article about his writing process which I found fascinating. I’ve linked his article through his name if you would like to read. It got me thinking about my process. I find some sort of inspiration, a small detail, a notion, a phrase or desire and then build around that spark. When I’m writing fiction, I put myself in my character’s position. I think about who they are, how they would feel and what motivates them. I think this process comes from making the effort to empathise with others. If I can understand how they may think and feel, I can understand them better and know how to relate to them more effectively.

Talking about my own life and emotions is not as easy as creating one for someone else or studying another’s. As you may have noticed, I ramble and go off on tangents. It is a reflection of my mind.

It is also why I attempt the prompts when Vocal delivers them. The difference between my writing now and my first article published is I am now aware of my tendencies and more experience at editing. I get the feeling this will always be my Achillies Heel, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try and improve.

After all is said and done, even my failures teach me something if I’m willing to listen for the lesson.

And is that not the hardest lesson to learn in life and in writing?

A little food for thought.