Learning to love the process again

I have felt paralysed not writing consistently. This eventually led to abandoning creating any type of content at all.

My initial beginnings to writing all started in late 2019. I stumbled into Medium where I wrote for fun. I enjoyed writing and posting almost daily for a moment. Seeing the number of reads rise and having someone become a fan of my writing had me giddy.

I found a hobby that I liked quite a lot. This comes from someone who picks up and drops hobbies like flies. If you know, you know the type of person I am by reading the previous sentence.

Coming to now present day 2024.

I am a digital marketing person by day. It's a creative job but it's a day-to-day process doing the same thing every week out. I do not despise my job but I have fallen into a state of plateau. There's a reason why I decided to go into the social media and marketing space, it was to create.

The past year of working has put me in a more negative headspace. Navigating my first job with life and having no time for myself. Doing my own content has led to me equating it to me doing more 'work'. I fell into point where I only live to work and to relax during my time off.

This year I want to change.

I'm taking smaller steps and making some changes to achieve this.

Daily journalling

No frills, but to write something down in my diary.

It's been fun and as there's no expectations for it to look aesthetically pleasing but to be seen with my own eyes. There are no limitations but a jot down of my feelings of the day and what has happened.

It's been a stop and start process wanting to get into bullet journalling back in 2016. It felt like facing a creative hill every time... I've felt conscious of my creative ability comparing myself to social media or even attempting to do it myself.

Everyone starts somewhere and now there is no longer the pressure to make it look pretty.

Reading at least 1 page a day

I had an ambition to read a book every 2 weeks or at least weekly last year. It was not impossible, I happen to be a quick reader, but the goal crumbled and burned. I went through a tumultuous year and not being able to schedule time for myself.

I'm starting it simple this year, to read at least one book a month. I want to slowly ease myself back to reading.

Hitting the publish button

I'm reading 'The House That Joy Built' by Holly Ringland. It's a confronting read as it hits the nail with what I have experienced with my own creative journey. It's the universal process that all creatives go through such as self-doubt, procrastination and many other feelings.

It was like facing a mountain I have been avoiding since 2020. Being stuck in the past which has led to not posting anything at all.

My goal:

Ideally, I would like to write and post something once a week. It's already the third week and I have not posted anything... I would like to write once a fornight. I'm already behind but I do have a long list of drafts and ideas waiting to be written.

No longer should I be scared. I am facing this mountain once again but not as ill prepared.

I felt comfortable shouting in the darkness for strangers on the internet to read back then. I felt joy and accomplishment with writing without any of my friends know. This is merely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to having fears and oversharing on the internet when I want to protect my own peace.

It's time to have fun and post my writing with no worries.