Just Another Writer Who Quit Their Job

Just after I typed out the word “career” in the subtitle, I couldn’t help but notice an ant starting to walk across the edge of my monitor. As it traveled more and more toward the white background of my Google Doc, I couldn’t help but nudge it away, so it was no longer distracting.

Or maybe it was a good excuse to take a break away from my screen.

I don’t consider myself that much different from most other writers. Like most, I journaled all the time in the breaks between tests in elementary school. I also liked to doodle and write out guides about my favorite games and books (Old School RuneScape and James & The Giant Peach by the way). Of course, as I grew older, I continued to write in more serious formats: poetry, short stories, articles, and pretty much anything that I thought was interesting.

Aside from writing I (like many of you) always felt like I couldn’t live without music for a day. Starting in concert band in 3rd grade as a percussionist (drummer), my love for music would soon spark into a fifteen-year experience streak across multiple music genres, marching bands, performances, and even a pipe band at one point.

Then, as I’m sure many of you have seen in your lifetime, life went on and the rules changed.

When I graduated high school, I found myself with another interest in the form of military service, enlisting in the United States Navy. For the next six years after I first left home, writing and music began to fade slowly, before eventually not even being a first, second, or fifth thought.

Well, for writing at least things didn’t exactly “go away”. Working on networks and radio communications, I found myself writing pages upon pages of notes to perform my job to the best of my abilities, which was quickly noticed by anybody who was meeting me for the first time in action. Wherever I went, I always had a notebook on me, although not to write poetry or stories or anything that didn’t matter at that point, to help prepare myself and those around me for any work that had to be done.

After I had left the Navy, I was able to find a stable near six-figure job continuing work in the information technology field at just 24 years old. I don’t say that to brag, but as a word of caution of how dangerous ambition can be to the spirit.

It wasn’t long before mixed feelings started to emerge. Now as a civilian, while still working alongside the Navy, I couldn’t help but start to question if I ever regretted getting into this line of work. Furthermore, if I had just gone to college or stayed independent and tried my hand at publishing, how different would I be?

Would I be much happier if I never experienced what I did?

All of that, and so much more began to plague my mind. The silent days of living alone in my house only added to the torment of wondering what was possible and what was a fabrication.

It wasn’t long before I snapped, first by taking two weeks off from work to really question what I wanted out of life. I then quit my job a week later.

This brings us to the present, some three months since I left my job to take a chance at writing and music as a career. Like most of you reading, I have been overwhelmed by the number of ideas and things I need to do to make this reality permanent.

On the music side, only two singles have been released, whereas on paper I have nearly two albums’ worth of songs and lyrics written and planned out. Somehow, I still can’t find the energy to get around to it.

Thankfully my writing has had a more positive outcome. Other than writing stories and articles on Vocal and Medium, I have been able to do a bit of freelance work with other websites, which has been able to put food on the table for the time being. As for my long-term works, I have completed drafts of two entire novels (romance and fantasy anthology) written out, which only need an editor’s opinion before being published.

I still can’t help but feel like there is so much more that I could be doing to pursue the same dream that hundreds, maybe thousands of others had done before. Whenever I complete a song or write a story, I tend to tell myself to stop comparing myself to others, but maybe it’s because I get caught up in their success instead of my own.

But of all the things I’ve discussed, and all the similarities I have with others, I do believe that the one thing that makes me stand out most is my willingness to attempt the impossible. No matter how long it takes, nor how many second jobs I may need to take on in the future, only to eventually leave so I can finish another project, I’m willing to fight for the life that I want to live.

I was always told to never quit, especially in the military, and now I’m not going to quit on myself.

Maybe that’s why the ant was trying so hard to get across my computer screen.