I Against I: The Concept Of Identity Dissolved

‘We are gathered here today to discuss the concept of identity. Due to the lack of great guests, we have here the most dissatisfied creator of the decade. Hi.’

'Hi. I don't want to be called that, the most dissatisfied creator of the decade. It sounds too pretentious. I prefer a creator who isn't great, yet.’

‘Ok. So what are you creating?’

‘Right now? I’m finishing the first draft of my novel. Because it's been a while since I wrote the first sentence through blood, sweat and tears, I managed to start several more, which are currently at various stages of fruition. The problem is the flow.’

‘The flow?’

'Yes. Creative flow. To get to the point where nothing else matters but the words poured out onto the page and then they flow. It's hard to achieve this on a daily basis, although I try.

A creator, in our case a writer, can use several techniques to prepare for this. For example, thinking ahead about what to write. In my case, it would mean rethinking my characters where they are and what they are doing at the moment to move them forward and let them go about their lives or do whatever they need or don't need to do, because that's no less important.’

‘So what are the conditions for achieving this flow? Are there any rules that may help others?’

‘Of course, although I never fully realised that I had been doing it naturally for years. For example, as Rhonda Douglas mentions in her episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show titled “How to Get Into Flow”, having a clear goal is very important. You need to know what you're doing, whether it be a character arc or a specific scene you're working on.’

‘Are there any other rules?’

‘Yes. When you are in this state, self-consciousness disappears and with it any sense of failure. Your consciousness is also excluded from distractions, so you can work in an environment that was previously unbearable, such as noisy construction site next to your home. When you put all your effort into achieving a goal, action is being merged with awareness. All that matters is what you're creating right now. Your concentration is racing and time is non-existent. You may think you're writing (or whatever you're doing in that state) for a few minutes, but in reality, it's happening hours after hours after hours.’

‘Have you ever done this?’

'Absolutely! I usually have a general plan of what main text I need to write the next day, and then, as I continue working, I do everything I can to achieve it. Thanks to this, I managed to survive the hardest parts.’

‘I was hoping we could get into it. What's the hardest?’

‘Not always, but sometimes when I'm working alone on my project, I feel very lonely. Isolation is the worst, but I must admit that this feeling doesn't last forever. There are of course those days, downtimes and downfalls, but then this core idea appears wherever I go. I don't know how, but whenever I'm unhappy with my writing or anything else related to the writing process, I go for a walk (if it's during the day) or watch a movie (usually at night). Then I usually find the clues to my books on the path right in front of me! It's like a murder investigation where you have to find all the missing points to solve the mystery, and this happens to me many times. And the greatest beauty lies therefore in this, in this case not loneliness, but solitude, very, if not the most important element of our profession, allowing all internal processes to find materialisation in words. As Virginia Wolf used to say, every woman needs a room of her own for an uninterrupted writing time.’

‘Yes, it’s true.’

‘Only if you actually have your own space wherever you live, or a space in a library or a coffee shop where you feel comfortable to write, then you can do it. Then you can count on the flow that will eventually happen as you prepare your mind and your surroundings, and the process can become as effortless as breathing. My aim is to achieve this every day. Of course, no text was published in a good book the next day, but this is the first step. The rest looks a bit different.’

‘I guess you mean revising?’

'That’s right. Then you constantly improve your work until you feel completely satisfied with it. But actual writing happens at the beginning, when your idea finds its first expression in words put down on paper.

Jessica Brody, one of my mentors, mentions The Crappy Writer's Hat (worn by the Drafter) and The Fancy Writer's Hat (worn by the Reviser) and they are two different people. I have found myself making this simple mistake many times. Proofreading my first draft, which is still being written. Of course, you need to know where your characters and the plot are going, but only vaguely in order to proceed. And often this is the hardest part. To get into the atmosphere of your novel again and again after so many situations outside of it.’

‘How do you get back then?’

‘Music is a great help. To get rid of the outside to get inside. I would also advise to pay attention to quiet moments. They often go unnoticed, but they are essential to writing. Same as drawing inspiration from those around us and people who are so extroverted that we writers, who are introverted by nature, enjoy writing about it. The most important thing, however, is to find the perfect balance between the challenge we face and our skills.

There are as many writers in the world as there are representatives of any other profession, and that is the beauty of it. We need to see new perspectives to challenge our writing in order to become better, to explore different points of view and apply them to our writing.

Mindfulness also plays a key role in the words we deliver. When your mind is calm, there is words galore you can draw as if from the deepest drilled well.’

‘What if you can't come back? There are many wannabes who started out but gave up. What advice would you give them to let them continue?’

‘You have to daydream [laugh]. Rhonda Douglas says on her podcast that we have to use our best energy when we write, and I know that's hard when we also have other commitments in our lives.

But hey, you want to be a writer? If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. Do it with every pore on your skin. Listen to the greatest. Charles Bukowski knew what he was talking about and we should trust him.

You have to trust your intuition and finally get feedback, but from the right people who know their craft and can tell you what will work and what won't, and this is actually the most difficult thing for an author to predict. That's why creative writing courses are so popular, but they never give you book ideas. An idea that only you, as a writer, a sensitive person, can delve into, is a part of you and only you can write it the way you can and want. They can teach you to search and scrutinise any book, short story, poem, movie etc. because there is a form and in that sense every story is schematic. But it's only for the greater good, because without it there would be no story at all.’

‘Thank you for your time. I'm sure we shed some light on the tricky aspects of the writing life.’

‘I thank you. The pleasure is all mine.’

***

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You can find more stories, articles, and poems from Mescaline Brisset on my profile on Vocal. The art of creation never ends.