A Writer's January

A Note on Resolutions vs. Intentions

Perhaps not many people have experienced this, but as a spiritual person, interested in awareness and personal development, in the past year I've seen a rise of the word "intention" over "resolution".

At first, I didn't pay too much attention to it, as I have generally given up on resolutions for a couple of years now (It was too much pressure!). However, I recently learned the difference between both words, and I think it's quite interesting.

If you have been wondering as well:

Resolutions tend to be more specific, measurable, and about empirical things to achieve. For example like, "I want to lose [xx amount of weight] in 3 months". They also very often include some kind of judgement by labelling things or practices as 'good' or 'bad'. Intentions are more general, quality-based, and focus on internal states. For example, "I want to honour my body's nourishment and movement needs" or "I want to feel comfortable in my body".

This doesn't mean that one is better than the other. Sometimes both are needed. Measurable and specific goals are part of life. But I think anyone can relate to the fact that New Year's resolutions can be tricky. They may be exciting to say in the moment, but hard to sustain through the whole year.

All this to say: It's fine if you don't begin the year with ten goals in mind and a perfect plan to achieve them. This takes me to my next point...

It's OK to Slow Down

Another misconception that often surrounds the New Year dynamics and that is closely connected to resolutions, is the idea that you have to get all of your projects sorted, set new goals and start working toward them as soon as the year begins.

But, here's an idea:

You don't always have to start the year at full speed. (It takes time to build up momentum!).

January will be a slow month for me and that's okay. I have not only accepted that, but I embrace it as well.

In ancient times, the winter was the time when the cold and the darkness forced people to slow down, reflect, and focus on surviving. On being present. No need or reason to harvest, scout or hunt. Think about it: Animals do the same.

Especially after moving from a tropical country to a place where the sun is gone by 4 pm with below-freezing temperatures during the winter, I feel like everything around me is telling me to take it slow.

Going into this new year, I want to take my time to reflect on the things that I want to change and what is important for me (which I often don't have time to do with the holiday rush). Knowing this, I will harness my energy and mindfully direct it towards taking steps to be my best possible version.

Taking this time to slow down, especially in the evenings, means that I also get to do nice things that nourish my mind and body, like drinking a hot cup of tea in bed and watching a few movies.

Throwback to the Beginning

I'll admit, this last week I had the privilege of having the time to watch all of the Harry Potter films again and I had an incredible realization.

On top of enjoying the visual and cinematographic aspects of the wizarding world, watching all of it made me remember why I started writing.

As the last film came to an end, I simultaneously felt a sensation of both melancholy and excitement. I felt melancholy because I remember the excited little girl who loved conjuring up magical worlds and stories full of adventure, love and magic. I felt it more deeply with the reminder that I forgot that little girl somewhere, gathering dust like most of the fantasy novels on my shelf.

Then, the excitement stepped in. The feeling of being ready to sweep that girl from the corner and make her feel all warm and sparkly on the inside again!

Warm and sparkly! That's how I used to feel when my sister told me the plot of Harry Potter as she read the books when I was little, how I felt when I read Sherlock Homes and the Chronicles of Narnia, also when I wrote my first short story about a doppelganger taking the place of the protagonist, and every time I had a creative writing assignment at school.

That's the same spark that was reignited when I started writing here on Vocal during the pandemic! With my first scary short story ever, and attempting to write poetry for the first time as well.

But somehow I got lost again along the way...

A(ny) Writer's Challenge

During this time of rest and reflection, I've asked myself this question: Why have I stopped writing if I enjoy it?

I now realize that one of the main answers that are triggered in my mind is: "Well, I'm not good enough to be a writer."

But, am I not one already?

Even though my mind plays tricks on me, sometimes, I know in my heart that "Writer" is not a professional position, a degree in English literature, or a short story prize (that I wish would be standing on my shelf).

Of course, all those things can help writers hone their craft, stand out to the public and thrive in many ways. These things are confirmation of one's journey as a writer but they are not the essence of being one.

I think "writer" is a label that is carried in the heart by all of us who muster the courage (more or less often) to explore our thoughts, dream different worlds, and capture the deepest wishes in our souls and our subconscious through words on paper or a screen. We're those who send our hearts forth into the world for ourselves and others to see openly. This is not"easy".

In fact, being a writer is really, quite hard.

At the end of the day, being a writer means constantly having to face yourself and your insecurities.

All this, in the form of a blank page, a head full of ideas (even if you can't always recognize them) and the fear that whatever you write will not be good enough.

Deep down, I know that is the reason that I stopped writing these last two years. It was not a lack of time or ideas, nor a shortage of skills or interest.

It was, honestly, just fear of not being good enough.

But what can I do about it?

Well....

A Simple Intention

Without taking you, Reader, on a longer journey with these ramblings, I'll tell you what my true, humble intention is for this year 2024 (take it, too, if it calls to you).

I will prioritize finding joy again. (Marie Kondo was right!)

Not praise. Not success. Joy.

As a writer, I will find joy in my writing again. No resolutions, no expectations, no competition, and no second-guessing myself anymore. Just pure fun and curiosity about the things that come out of my head. Plain boldness and courage to try things without self-imposed limitations. Allowing my inner girl to show her weirdness to the world and thrive on it.

No more procrastination due to perfectionism. I would rather be brave enough to face criticism than face another day knowing that I had an idea but I didn't write because I was challenged or scared.

I will take back my power through joy, by making up fantasy stories in my mind, ranting about chocolate for pages, and writing more little pieces about animals and how to get snails off the street (because I really do care).

Just that.

Most importantly, I will go forward knowing that whatever I write is enough because I dared to try. Because I followed my joy and I followed my heart!

For this year, I wish you, too, that you can call back your joy again and find your way back to what makes you all warm and sparkly on the inside!

Love, Marina.