What have I noticed that is no longer normal to me since leaving the US?

My inner dialogue instantly goes wild. I go from, well, technically, I am from the US, my passport is from the US, and I was born and bred a Southerner, which will never change.

My identity as being from the good ole US of A will always remain. Of course, unless I get another passport and officially emigrate and change, but I will still be from the States. Usually, when people ask this question, they assume I have just come from there; it becomes a long introduction of me saying, at first, the US.

Then they want to know where I live and work, and then I have to go into the I left five years ago and do not technically have a home; I prefer to say I most recently have been living in Colombia.

Then I don’t have to go into an entire dissertation about how I am homeless and live out of a backpack. Sometimes I say in the same breath the US, but I left over five years ago, and most recently, I was in Colombia. Short and sweet, and then I meet people traveling abroad, and I realize if I say I am from the US, it feels almost fake now.

So many things that my sister and her friends here do that are so very ¨American¨ that I no longer do, and so I thought I would share a few things that once seemed normal to me now seem odd and bizarre and I wonder why in the US do we do these things?

Mostly they are all related to eating out, and if you have ever traveled to the US, you probably wonder why we do these as well.

I have been deemed the one to flag the waiter down and go and sit at a table without being seated.

In the US, it is customary to wait for a hostess to seat us and give us menus, and then a waitress comes over. Outside the US, it is polite to sit down; I should clarify, not at fancy restaurants, but every day. I do not do five-star, as I find it stuffy and annoying.

I will find someone and yell we are going to sit there and they always say, yes, ok. Then they bring menus; then, I am the one to flag the waitress down to order and to get the check.

When you need something, you tell them, I love it. Here in Israel, it is very similar.

My sister and her friends feel ¨rude¨ because, in the US, we have to wait for someone to come and tell us everything. Instead of being proactive, in the States, we are so worried about being PC and correct that we feel guilty about everything.

I refuse to live my life that way; now that I have escaped that BS, I never plan on returning.

Even though Israel is a first-world country, it still has ways of the old world.

If they expect a tip, they will ask you to leave a tip; they will not passively aggressively leave a spot that you can tip or not, and you know we all do because we feel guilty if we do not.

Today my sister’s co-worker said even if the service is terrible, I leave a tip; I said if they do not ask here, I do not tip. If they want something, they will tell you to your face.

It happened as well. The guy came over and said do you want to add a tip, we all said yes, of course, but if they do not ask, we do not offer it as it is not the custom here or in most countries.

Instead, they pay their staff a decent wage and do not depend on tips. I waited tables all through college. I know what it is like to work in US restaurants; I prefer getting a fair wage vs. working off tips.

She then asked about cabs; I said if they want a tip, it will be included in your bill. Yet again, they feel guilty; why in the US is everything done to make us feel guilty about everything?

Yet again, I refuse to be made to feel guilty, and I am not there to pay someone else’s salary. The one girl mentioned I felt terrible because they don’t get paid a lot, and I responded how is that your problem?

I might be harsh on how I see the world, but after living and growing up in the US, it is not a place that has our best interests at heart.

They need to pay the servers better because they want us, the client, to pay it; why not pay them reasonably instead?

We already pay taxes on top of everything, and I know most of us wonder where it goes, at least I do; and yes, I am still our permanent resident. I do pay and file taxes every year.

Something else they are surprised about is the price of items.

Even when a friend came to Colombia, he said ok, well, this is the price. How much do I pay at the register?

I told them the price was listed. He said, yea, I know, but what extra, I said, none that is the price. There is no added tax. The price you see is the price you pay. I love this, give me a price.

When I go to the US, I have an exact change. I use cash everywhere, and I often need more because I have not added the extra extra extra to the bill. So I end up not buying it, mainly out of frustration.

Then I grumble about why I am trying to expatriate and immigrate to another country. I know no country is perfect, but I have fewer gripes on daily life and living outside the US than inside the US.

Ok, back to restaurants.

They do not bother you the entire meal, asking and rushing you out.

If you are there, you get to hang out and time; when you want the bill, you ask for it.

They see you have eaten in the US and decide to bring you the check; I loathe this. I will let the check sit and finish my conversation. I find it rude to rush me out.

My family hates eating out with me, but now at least my sister understands that the rest of the world does not function like the US. Even here in Israel, people are rushing around, working, and busy; however, I do not feel the stress the pressure as I do in the US.

I can sit, eat, and do my thing without anyone harassing me to leave, pay, or order more.

I only see these things after being around other Americans from the US, and I told my sister you do not think people are rude here because you came from Boston, the queen city of rudeness, in my opinion.

I lived there for years and often visited. Here I think people are short with you, but only because I come from a country that is the most friendly; also, it’s culturally different, and I am still adjusting.

Israel is at an average level. They are not over-the-top friendly, and they are not rude. They do what you need, and you have to ask if you need more help.

I don’t mind asking for what I need. I would rather ask you for what I need as opposed for you to show up with what you think I need but don’t, like my bill when my salad is only half finished because you want to turn the table for another tip.

Last night my sister went to dinner with her boss, she said he complained about the service. I told you guys missed me flagging everyone down for everything, and she laughed and said yes. That is what you have to do everywhere.

It is also interesting how they are not used to public transport or walking. In the US, we are so used to getting in our cars to drive even a mile up the road.

Once you leave the US, that is different from how the world works; most people use public transit as it is easier. The US has the worst public transit in the world.

Plus, walking here is so lovely. The sidewalks are not destroyed, and they have space for walking and for bikes, making it a friendly environment. I love walking, and it helps clear my mind, and public transportation makes you feel like one of the locals.

I only use a cab if I have to go far, and taking a bus or train is impossible. Like on Shabbat on a Saturday or Friday afternoon.

I also never expect anyone to cater to my needs — such a US attitude.

I tell people when they go to the US, if they need a translator, you will find one; yes, it is a nice plus.

Yet, if you are in a hotel in Colombia, do not expect them to bend over backward to understand you. You are in their country; we in the US feel the need to please everyone, which might be contributing to the current state of the US.

Everyone is entitled and whiny and expects the world to revolve around them. You realize that is not the case once you leave the US.

Witnessing how they interact and what they expect is so fascinating, especially to me, who is from the US but so far removed that I feel I am in between homes. As a citizen of the world, the US is a bubble, and the rest of the world makes more sense.

The longer I stay away and witness other cultures, the more my body feels at peace where I am. Even though coming from Colombia to Israel was a culture shock, I now realize it is not so different. US to anywhere is the real culture shock.