The I Belonged

No more than a year did we stay anywhere. A new place every time, with the wind as a guide, and we would never have a tether that attached us to the places we've been before.

"Pack it up kids," my mother would say, and in a day, we would have the car ready to drive to a different place. We became really good at disappearing, it was second nature to us.

In every new place, it would seem that it was a parallel universe of where we were before. Everything was the same. Even the new kids I would meet would have some sort of resemblance of those I've met before, in appearance, and in their roles at the school.

School was the biggest bother. Making new friends was never on my mind. They would all just be the same. Since every school was filled with doppelgangers of those I've met before, I never bothered to make friends.

Although we moved everywhere, it was always within the confines of California. So it was quite a surprise when my parents mentioned that we would be moving to Washington state.

I would be lying if I didn't say that the thought of moving to a place so vastly different then California wasn't exciting. But my hopes would never go beyond the reality. I knew very well that it was going to be the same as any other move. But this time there would be snow.

So now we are in this different place. I would say we were so far from home, but we never really had a home to begin with. So now that we were there, we had to explore. A lot . We got lost more times than can be counted on fingers and toes. But it was actually not bad. We've always been a family that has enjoyed to cold, so it didn't take long for us to get used to the chilly air.

Not long after we moved, school started. It was the same, I would be by myself, and just wait until it was time to move to a different place. Only this time it was different. A year passed and, as usual, we didn't get attached, and we were ready to leave, but we never did. My mother thought that it would be a good idea to just stay. And of course it was a decision she made all on her own.

All that I could feel was resentment towards my mother. I've never been used to seeing the same things twice. To keep from having to make actual friends, I would spend my time with the seniors, so that it was severed from both ways. They would leave to college, and I would move to a different place. But now I would feel the pressure of trying to make actual friends.

Another year had past, and I lived it the same way, thinking that at years end, we would actually move. We didn't. And I couldn't believe it. It was starting to get boring. So naturally I decided to explore some more. The thought of leaving soon would discourage me from really going anywhere, but since we weren't going anywhere, I had to find reasons to want to stay.

We were surrounded by mountains and hills, so as a family we decided to go up Mt. Rainier. Nature has always called to me. Whether it be the ocean, or the woods, I always wanted to be in nature. The drive up the mountain was incredible. There were so many trees. Being from California, you never really see forests, so I was in awe. As we reached the summit, we find that there is a lake, hidden in the woods. We weren't prepared to go swimming that day, but that didn't stop us. Neither did the freezing cold water.

It was one one of the most incredible days of my life. That was until I discovered a small, secluded beach, two hours north from where we lived. Ruby beach, what an incredible place. The water was freezing, but we didn't care. After the we had our fun in the water. We got changed, and ran around the pile of large trees that were washed on shore. Once we used up all of our energy, we admired the view of the sky meeting the water. I though to myself that this was a place that I could get used to.

School started again, after a very memorable summer, and I felt different. It was like my eyes were opened. I was able to see the faces of everyone there, they weren't just blurs that would pass by the hallway anymore. Talking was a bit more of a challenge. Being that I avoided human interaction my whole life, rusty wouldn't even begin to describe my social skill.

Slowly, but surely, I began speaking to the kids in my class. And I actually made friends. Real friends, not just the acquaintances that I would have around just to evade feeling lonely. I no longer spent my lunches alone, I actually had friends to be my gym partners, and I actually hung out with kids after school. I tried out for school sports, and joined the swim team, something I never thought I would have done in a million years.

It might seem small, but being there, in the tiny town of Fife, has changed my life, and the way that I view the world. Sadly my family and I ended up moving away after I graduated. But I always carry what I've learned, who I've met, and what I've seen with me.