ARGHHHHHH / I SCREAM

'First of all, this is such a great picture, do you guys get or see

the illusion that the rider is actually moving'?.

Spencer Davis picture. Great job. 'UNSPLASH'.

I want to say that

'Vocal opened my eyes to seeing what I am missing'.

As I am sitting here agonizing about what to say and do,

and scrolling to find the right pictures

I realize

Wow!

These pictures are taken by people out THERE, enjoying nature,

snapping brilliant beautiful pictures,

enjoying what they love to do

(and hopefully making money while they are at it)

Yet; here I am, sitting on my couch

trying to use their creations.

I think,

'How sad is that'.

Although, I said to myself 'I imagine using their pictures allows exposure to their craft'.

'Just remember to acknowledge them when you reach for a memory that they create to enhance your story'.

'Hopefully someone reads my story'. Smiley face here.

I say with a chuckle.

Anyway, I just got my revelation that I too need to go discover and create my own version

of life

of nature

of living

Snap my own pictures

Make my own memories.

I feel bogged down by circumstances

I need to shed this boxed in persona

and go live for living in the moment.

Stare fear squarely in the face and say' NO MORE'.

And take action to

renew

energize

discover

A new version of myself

that I can genuinely smile at and be sublime.

I mean:

'How many vases of flowers or other people's faces nestled between blooming vegetation and pretty leaves can I absorb'?,

before going nuts.

And pics of food and buildings and dogs and cats, lovers toasting each other, boats, bridges, shapes, bare feet, people, rivers, lakes, penguins, hot dogs and burgers...

AHHHHHHH.......Screammmmm

They say create, so I create and they say no,

get clearer pictures, use different words

WOW us.

Well DAMN IT! SCREAMMMMM. 'I actually screamed into my pillow this time'.

For real.

Know what.

I'm gonna WOW myself.

BUT FIRST I HAVE TO GO SCROLL AND GET SOME OF THOSE 'GUYS'ES' PICTURES FOR MY ARTICLE.

SIGH!!!!!

'I am going to go discover nature for myself'.

'I'm getting my own camera and setting out to conquer my own mountains

and snap gorgeous pictures'.

While still creating my 'masterpieces' in Vocal.

Sooooo!!!

My plan about globetrotting and being free entails,

getting an RV, but with 26c in my writing wallet, I have to ditch that idea.

So my trusty little Toyota will have to do.

Starting out as soon as humanly possible or the end of the pandemic.

Whichever comes first.

Next, I hope to round up a friend or two. Fun people, who won't mind roughing for a while.

Then make my list:

Flashlight, batteries, blankets, jackets, cash, toothbrush, toothpaste, clothes, walking shoes, bottled water, prewrapped food, socks, TP, cause you never know. One credit card for emergency. Phone, charger, sunhat, sunglasses, sunscreen, sleeping bag. tent, bug spray, soap, hand sanitizer.

Towels and my first aid kit. Phew!, I think I got it all. Anything else is wait and see.

I hope it doesn't come down to me trapping and cooking my own food.

Can't forget my motorcycle and helmet.

At this point I realize: I am having this conversation with myself out loud.

'I hope this semi-hobo life is just a hobby for these guys doing the picture taking. One does not want to starve to death while waiting for someone to recognize their talent and give them a big payday'.

So, I will have to prioritize, take a vacation, go test the waters in my new adventure plan and see how it goes.

One may just have to take a temporary sojourn into nature ever so often and return to the reality of life afterwards.

I think that would be fine. Any escape from the daily grind is a victory.

Then again, I can have a job that I can work at while out in the 'wild', that would be perfect. I could make money while doing other activities to make more money.

Brilliant.

Hearts.

Camera pic by Jeff Cortez. Unsplash.