Antevasin

So, you might be reading this upon reflection of your recent wanderlust adventures. Remembering those nights under skies and stars. Those passing days that mingled perfectly; its fulfilment and satisfaction based entirely around the square parameters of a city map in the palm of your hand. You are craving it again. To be out there in the wilderness, happily lost amidst the perfect chaos of it all. Where nobody knows who you are, nor do they care or expect anything from you but a passing smile on the streets of somewhere. Well let me tell you, that feeling that you keep homing in on constantly is not a negative one at all. It's your inner consciousness coming out, giving you a navigation to who you actually are. It’s as if the inner chemistry of your body repels the connections that it has already sought and lived through before; the paleo pull is dramatically pulling you elsewhere. But the question is to where, why and what is the journey like ahead for those who cannot remain in one place for too long?

In the coming of a new year, I always like to give myself one word, that signifies and describes myself. Be it who I want to be, or a quality that summarises a state of fulfilment. Last year my word was Antevasin (an-te-vaseen)- stay with me for this expansion, you will understand the link very soon. Antevasin is defined as a person who cannot remain in one location for too long. A person who always remains on the border of society, overlooking structure and reform. An entity who is alive within the momentum of wanderlust and wild fires that conquer within the earth’s soul. So, you see, that’s me and you. We cannot remain in one place for a considerable amount of time; for when we do, we feel homesick for the unknown. Home to you and I is the essence of a free world. The idea that we never conform to one particular place, we are just travellers passing through. For isn’t that the purpose of life after all? Travellers, seeking soulful elevation, climes that challenge our very being-so we might as well honour it by thriving with the world map on the edge of our toes, right?

It isn’t every day that one can come to a conclusion of their purpose within life, nor explain the spiritual connection we seem to have with the mystery of the universe. Yet, one thing is very certain, the same atoms and disordered entropic order that flows through our bodies and the core of our heart, once manifested the very universe itself. It is funny, that when we think of the world around us as a matter of origins and where we came from; the very past which we seem to linger on in terms of remnants, as an explanation to the mystery and the pieces of ourselves, very much becomes our future. It is all intertwined and makes the universe not seem so big anymore. We are a part of the universe. Pieces of us exist in every part of the world. Now when you think of it in that perspective, how can we belong to one fixed bearing on earth? How can we limit ourselves to such solid conformation, when we are the very art and momentum that flows and beats the earths function? We are the congregation of true nomads, that fear the stationary life because that is not the essence or meaning to our living. We are too full of life to remain dormant in melancholy and mundanity. So why stay subject to it all?

That is why this year for 2020, my word remains the same and maybe this will become your word too, if you practice this word exercise with me. 2020 is the calling of our destiny, an echo through time and the ages that murmur and beckon our being to come forward. To come forward and claim the untraveled road ahead, for it is very much afoot. We have places to see, cultures to divulge and immerse our souls deep within. To feed our internal functions that eat, sleep and breath adventure. You and I. The definition of Antevasin.

• Fatima Elmusbahi •