5 secret places that you need to know about now! A guide for introverts considering migration in 2021, now with bonus fun facts!

Has lockdown got you feeling like you might need some more space? Who could blame you, especially if you are in the 50% of the population that inhabit only 1% of the world’s surface? That’s approximately 3.9 billion people all squeezed together, no wonder you need your own room.

Never fear. The introvert’s migration guide is here to help. Our new and improved hot top five places have been updated for 2021 and are sure to have something for every introvert type.

Written with the introvert at mind, using our carefully developed series of scientific* questions, we will help guide you in finding a new place that you can call home. *Contents may include traces of nuts

OUR TOP FIVE

No.1#

Do you hate the rain but love the cold? Do you love the feeling of wind blowing through your hair? Do you have a tuxedo that you can’t find enough occasions to wear?

If you answered yes to one of these questions or more, then maybe you should consider Antarctica!

With no permanent population, it is the world’s coldest, dryest and windest place with average temperatures ranging from 14F to -76F; this place will give Netflix and Chill a whole new meaning.

What about when a sudden need to party strikes? Dress up and hang out in your formal wear with the 11 million penguins that call Antarctica home. Unfortunately, with declines in the penguin population, this might be a party that you need to RSVP to soon.

No.2#

Not warming to the idea of Antarctica? Well, then have you considered Greenland? Do you hate cars and driving? Love seafood and the words Kayak and Igloo? Have a good sense of irony? Then Greenland might be the place for you!

With less than 3,000 cars, there are virtually no roads here. You will be slaying it as you get around Greenland on a boat, snowmobile and dog sled.

Love irony? And by that, I mean real irony, not the Alanis Morissette type.* Well, Greenland is the place for you. With neighbouring Iceland being Greener than Greenland and Greenland being Icey than Iceland, this place has it in bounds. The “Land of People”, Greenland is home to only an estimated 56,000 people. To put that in perspective, the entire population could fit inside Michigan Stadium, and still there would be enough room left that most people could bring a friend**.

With Greenland’s 836,000 square miles shrinking year on year due to climate change, this is a great deal that will slip through your fingers if you don’t act soon!

*Alanis Morissette’s smash-hit of 1996 “Isn’t it Ironic?” contained no irony except it’s title. By naming a song without irony, isn’t it ironic, was this in fact ironic? Thus the confusing answer to the question is no, well actually yes, sort of.

**Logic dictates that this would need to be a non-Greendlander friend, as all their friends from Greenland would already be in the stadium.

No.3#

Maybe you had something smaller in mind? Why not move to a country where everyone knows your name? Do you love the finer things in life, art, reading, drinking wine? Hate paying income tax? Have you found yourself after learning Latin, not having anywhere to practice it? Then maybe you should consider Vatican City!

This is the world’s smallest and most exclusive country in population and geography. At 1/8th the size of New York Central Park, less than 1,000 people call the Vatican City home

A bit of a bookworm? With over 1.1 million books, you will be sure to find something to read. Why not curl up in a comfy chair with a glass of wine? You’ll be in good company, the Vatican being the country with most wine consumed per person. With your 54 Litres annual quota, you’ll be sliding down the banisters of Bramante's Staircase in no time!

Need to ‘exerces Latine’? Vatican city has got what you need with the world’s only Latin ATM; you’ll be ‘si extrahere tempus pecuniam’ before you know it, and with no income tax, you’ll be sure to have a lot more money to do it with.

Is the Pope Catholic? Well, yes, he is, and so is the rest of the Vatican’s population. If this doesn’t appeal, you might consider leaving via the world’s smallest national trainway system.

No.4#

Need more me-time? Like to dip your toes in the water? Think rising sea levels are a conspiracy? Then why don’t you consider Hub Island?

Also known as ‘just enough room’, this tiny island is located in Alexandria Bay, New York and is in its entirety, is about the size of a tennis court. Since previous court action, we are legally obliged to point out that as it is an island, this place is only accessible by water. So get your swimming costumes on!

This place is ideal for all those who have struggled with the conflict caused when you enjoy romantic walks along the beach, but you don’t like them long. Worry no more, with a beach right outside your front door. You can go for your romantic walk and back settled in front of the TV in less than the time it’s taken to read the last couple of paragraphs. Who said that romance and convenience couldn’t go hand in hand?

No.5#

Like farming and lobsters? Sick of capitalist markets and their inequalities? Hate unexpected visitors and politics? Have you considered Tristan da Cunha?

Winning the title of the world’s most remote inhabited island, this island has no landing strip and can only be accessed by boat. The seven-day boat ride departing from South Africa, 1,750 miles away, ensures you will never be caught out again by visitors ‘just popping in’.

All land is owned by the commonwealth, with free healthcare and a belief that no one should acquire excessive wealth. There are no political parties on the island, so say goodbye to uncomfortable constitutional arguments! No longer will you have to block your friends and relatives on Facebook because of their outrageous political beliefs.

Sound perfect, ready to move in? Unfortunately, as at the time of writing, the island is not open to new residents.

Update 2021: Please note that our travel guide no longer recommends that people overcome this ban by sneaking into the island. This is our advice for ALL travellers, including all certified international masters of disguise. Allegedly, all 275 residents of the island know each other.

For those determined on moving to this delightful island, why not consider marryinging a local? We have found that current limitations with the “near me” feature of most dating apps, which exclude most of the inhabitants from appearing within search feed, can easily be overcome by sailing to the island and mooring within 20 kilometres of the main town.

We hope that you have been inspired by our latest guide. What are you waiting for? It’s time to get packing!