Why Did You Wait So Long To Speak Out?
Erroneous beliefs regarding women's silence on abuse.
I understand that we are currently facing many challenges; however, I wanted to talk about an issue that has been weighing heavily on my mind. As the 2020 presidential race heats up, I feel the need to start a conversation regarding the sexual assault accusations against presidential nominee Joe Biden. I am not here to, nor will I, offer my opinion as to whether I believe he is guilty of the accusations. Individuals who are in support of Joe Biden, who also happen to be supporters of the #MeToo movement, have raised several legitimate issues against his accuser except for one. It is this issue that I want to address. Supporters of Biden, and under similar circumstances supporters of supreme justice Kavanaugh, appeared to doubt the truth behind the victim’s account due to the fact that they remained silent on the alleged attacks for several years. They claim to find it suspicious that the women are just now coming out with these accusations when the accused is seeking a position of importance and authority. With that being said, women’s right advocates have provided numerous explanations, all backed by scientific research, as to why a woman would remain silent. In some instances, it is because it happened during a time when women were not taken seriously. In others, it is due to fear of repercussions, being accused of making a false accusation, ostracization, humiliation, and so on. Perhaps they did speak up and were silenced by the accuser? These are but a few examples that need to be considered.
There is another possibility that I would like to present. I have suffered through a very abusive relationship that included physical and sexual assault and mental and emotional abuse. It was ten years before I spoke about it in detail, and an additional twelve years passed before I decided to release the details of this experience in my upcoming book. The trauma that I endured happened well over twenty-two years ago, and there has never been a single instance where I have mentioned his name or tried to call him out for what he put me through publicly. However, if that man was ever to try to run for political office or obtain a position of great importance and/or authority, you bet your sweet ass I will call him out on it. Why would I want someone like that to obtain such a position? Individuals who are prone to violence, abuse, and assault are known to possess dangerous personality disorders. These same people will frequently present themselves as charismatic leaders to gain a following and are drawn to high authority positions. We have to take these accusations seriously, no matter who they are against. In my opinion, we have enough individuals with blatant Dark Triad personality characteristics currently in power.
I am fully aware that there is the possibility that these accusations could be false. I am also fully aware of extensive research that instances of false allegations made by women against men are far less prevalent than the actual occurrence of sexual assault and domestic violence against women. Dismissing a women’s accusation due to the fact that it happened in the past or because she cannot recall specific dates (individuals who have gone through trauma have a hard time remembering specifics) is something we cannot do! I can’t tell you when, what month, or even what season my abuser threw me through a glass table, but I know that it happened. I cannot give you any proof of the incident other than my word and the tiny scars all over my back. I am not suggesting we immediately prosecute every man accused. Still, I am suggesting that we need to thoroughly and without bias, investigate all allegations, including those against Joe Biden, Kavanaugh and the twenty-something to date against the current president.
"I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn't get there. And she was married," Trump is heard saying in the video. "Then all of a sudden, I see her, she's now got the big phony tits and everything. She's totally changed her look." You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything, Grab them by the pussy," "You can do anything."