Why Am I Single?

Why are you single?

I used to cringe when someone asked me that question. It used to make me feel like I needed to be in a relationship. It made me feel like there was something wrong with being single. Then I started to think, what is wrong with being single? My conclusion....absolutely nothing! The question that should be asked is, why do you care so much?

Single is the place where I have been able to explore myself as a woman. It has been where my greatest love was developed. Single is, if I want to have dinner with you, I will. If I want to take a train ride with someone else, I can. My only obligation is me. It makes me fully responsible for my happiness. There are people who are in marriages, who have yet to find themselves. They do not know themselves or the person they married. There are several people in relationships, trying to break that soul tie. A soul tie that was created out of the need to have someone in their bed. If I wanted to be married, all I have to do is say yes, but I am not the one to be in a relationship just for the sake of having a man or husband. Growth and understanding of self, has been a mission that only I can complete.

I am not a woman in waiting. I am not waiting on a man to complete me. I am doing that myself. I want to be fully evolved to the level of my next love. I am beyond the level of infatuation. The stronger I love myself, the stronger our love will be. I am single because that is how I entered the world. I am not part of the collective that says that you must be with someone in order to exist or be validated. I am existing in my own dreams. Divine timing will make it exist in this magical realm.

I am not religious. My religion is me. There are restrictions in religion that no human can attain. My spirit is free and cannot be defined by yearly rituals, commandments, and other indoctrinated acts. My husband is already my husband, wherever he is, he has his own journey and eventually, he will be presented to me. We will have stories to tell and moments to share because once we get together it will ignite another level of love in us. A matrimony of love and understanding that will surpass anything either of us has ever experienced. This can happen at any time in my life or at any time in your life. Enjoy the mistakes, laugh at yourself for being weak for love, laugh even harder when they break your heart, turn those tears into joy, because that is what’s next. It was your lesson to learn and their karma to live.

Enjoy and savor where you are right now. Learn to know how sweet it is to wake up on a Saturday morning with options. Or just savoring the silence of a text or ring tone from an unsuspecting human. The power of making the executive decision to answer that phone call or send it to voice mail. To indulge in his ego or crush it with a simple, No. Do not become consumed with the idea of just being with someone. Most people in relationships are only a fragment of themselves. They get into relationships to further hide from themselves and then wonder why their relationships are not successful. Relationships are a team effort. Give and take. It’s a rhythm, a dance of vibrations. Educate yourself on your vibration, what signals are you sending to the outer world? When you focus on yourself, you attract, everything will come to you.

So, the next time someone asks you why are you single? Tell them it’s because you are minding your own business. It’s because I am enjoying life as I am, right as this moment and it includes only me. Is that ok with you? Every single person is not looking for a mate. Being married is not the ultimate goal of every single person. And if it is, that is your prerogative.

LL Walton, Author