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Where does our concepts of "sexy" come from?

by Pam Reeder 5 days ago in body

What makes us feel sexy and why? Is it a pose? An outfit? Behavior/mannerisms? Does misogyny play a role?

Photo by David Bares from Pexels

What makes us feel sexy and why? Is it a pose? An outfit? Behavior/mannerism? Certainly, the definition of sexy is going to be subjective. It will be different for every person based on their filters, life experiences and preferences.

What we wear, how we pose, our behaviors and mannerisms are all to evoke responses both from ourselves and others. But how does it bring us a sense of validation? And at it's core, what is the foundation it is predicated on? It's rather like peeling the layers of an onion.

With regards to clothing, if not for Eve, we would all be butt naked if you follow the sacred text we must not name to honor community guidelines and keep the platform devoid of religion. But I can assure you there is a multi-billion dollar industry that is extremely glad for her rebellious action, or naïve gullibility, that prompted her to chomp into that juicy bit of fruit. (Why wasn't it a pear instead of an apple? I could have wound this story into the Pear Tree Challenge.....umhumm, back on track, shall we.)

Before the autonomy and independence women so enjoy today, women were more secondary in society. They were only slightly more elevated than their children but still fell along with them into the realm of "being seen and not heard." It was a man's world. That isn't an attack on males, it is merely a statement of fact. Both men and women, mostly accepted it as the status quo. Thankfully, there were those dissident women that charted a new course for history.

And in that man's world, where women owned no property, had no voice, and no means of income other than that of a male, a woman's entire existence revolved around landing the ideal mate for her future and security. The more established the male was, the more suitable and desirable he was.

From this pursuit of the suitable male and security, ensued the pageantry of women vying to land in his sights, on his arm and into his marital bed. A woman's arsenal for this endeavor were her feminine wiles, her coquettish behavior, her ability to dress and command a room, and prowess in flaunting her best physical attributes.

With that in mind, I have to wonder if what makes us feel sexy in current times still stems from archaic misogynistic roots of pursuing mates with feminine wiles? Because none of us were born with an innate sense of what sexy means. That means we form it from our exposure to environment and experiences. So, it would seem it is a bit like the chicken and the egg conundrum. Which came first?

These are the type musings that cross my mind when I put on an outfit in the morning to head out the door. Does it make me feel good? Is it suitable? What does that even mean? And why is it that some clothing is more appropriate under some circumstances than others? It gets so jumbled up in my mind that I just put on something probably deemed frumpy but I feel good in it and out the door I go.

In closing, all I can say is, whatever you wear, make certain you know why you wear it. Understand why it evokes the emotions that it does for you. Perhaps the new sexy is not something designed to attract the eyes of another or invoke a response from someone else. Perhaps it is just something that allows you to just feel comfortably you. And being the you that you truly are should be best definition of sexy there is.


Me at an outdoor theater perched on a hill with a beautiful view. SHORT hair. LOL

I always try to share a different photo of me at the end of my stories so that if you read my stuff often (fingers crossed) you'll get to see the many different facets of me.

If you're wondering just who exactly wrote this piece, you can find more about me here. If you're intrigued to see what else I've written, more stories by me can be found here.

On the off chance you appreciated this piece, a heart would be appreciated. It is inspiration to keep moving forward on this writing journey. There is also a tipping option for those who may want to part ways with their hard earned money and for some odd reason impart it to me.


Other stories by me:


Pam Reeder

Stifled wordsmith re-embracing my creativity. I like to write stories that tap into raw human emotions.

Author of "Bristow Spirits on Route 66", magazine articles, four books under a pen name, technical writing, stories for my grandkids.

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