Unfinished Business

New York is lovely in fall and I had an entire afternoon free to wander on my own and do touristy stuff. I saw the Statue of Liberty and climbed up the crown room (I am glad that I was able to do that). **To be young and in love in New York City (in New York City) **. I like climbing tall buildings and observing things from a great height. It feels good to remember all the terrible stuff that you went through because you had a good heart from high places. All the times when you thought you would not be able to make it through but you did, somehow, with the Universe.

"In the midst of my fall, I flipped around and turned it into a leap of faith" ~ Original

While strolling on the streets, I went inside a Kate Spade shop and saw a purse worth $300 ($170 after discount). It had everything that I ever wanted from a purse, I felt as if I am finally seeing my soul purse and it was in New York. **Lost my heart in Manhattan - So Romantic**. It was lavender with shiny glitter and the perfect size. I really wanted to buy it, really did but then my student loan guilt came knocking in. So, I looked at it and said that I might have to leave you now but I will be back when the timing will be perfect for us to be together. It was fall'19 so needless to say that it never happened as the pandemic struck in early 2020.

Alice: Which road do I take?

Cheshire Cat: Where do you want to go?

Alice: I don't know.

Cheshire Cat: Then, it doesn't matter.

~ Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

I kept wandering till I realized that I am running out of cell phone battery and need to recharge before I get lost in the unknown parts of NYC. Although, that would have been romantic too - **Lost in the heart of New York**. Of all the cities that I ever got lost in, NYC is my favorite. So, my quest led me to a fantastic cozy desi-themed cafe - The Chai Spot where I got to relax my aching feet, charge my phone and hang out in the awesome ambiance with chai. I often burn Chai at home and earlier I used to apologize to my roommates but then one day I read a quote on the internet, "Don't bother apologizing if you are going to continue doing what you are doing". So now I smile and tell them, "That's just who I am as a person" and they smile back sympathetically.

New York is a wonderful story, it feels mesmerizing to go there every time. Whether it's a bar or a bakery or a museum, I feel NYC has its own language and feel and being in Times Square is an exhilarating experience.

The Met museum holds wonderful treasures and is a must-see for art lovers. I love going to the museums and cherishing art and reading about history, especially ancient Egypt, mummies, fossils and prehistoric beings. It tells us that we have come a long way and we still have a long way to go for decoding ancient secrets.

This girl stands out from the rest like a queen, poised and ready to fight anyone that stands in her way to greatness.

And the same can be said about this mummy. I wonder what code hides within the ancient symbols carved in stone. I think it might say that this mummy belongs to someone super important (I forgot who it belongs to).

I said why I received only this? A voice replied, only this will lead you to that. - Rumi

Speaking of exhilarating experiences, I did it, finally, was always scared of it but I replied to a troll account on the internet. Now, I know why people like to waste a lot of time and energy doing that on the internet every day. It gives you a high and an illusion of a voice that you think you don't have in real life. An idea that is not true. In my conversation with him, I noticed two things:

1. He understood what was being said but was deliberately diverting from it to incite a reaction from me.

2. He was projecting his beliefs on me that I later proved in my conversation.

He proved my theory right about trolls. They just want a reaction from you because this gives them a sense of power and they are who they say you are. In the middle of responding, remember who you are and not accept anyone else's definition of you. If someone is trying to make you believe negatively about yourself or trying to guilt-trip you into something, they are manipulating you. They might already know that you are right but they want you to keep elucidating to prove your point so that they can extract supply from your reactions. Your reactions can also feed their agenda in making people believe how mentally unstable you are. Don't succumb to the game, know your power by remembering who you are.

Another thing that I noticed is that girls are taught to be timid in their interactions. No matter how high up the ladder of success a woman is, there will always be humility in her and to some extent, she will look for the approval of others and feel that she is not good enough. I struggled with self-worth most of my life. I don't want to generalize this into a gender war because I do not believe in it and I know that there are several opposite examples too. What I don't understand is that how do humans who act out of malicious intent towards other humans think so highly of themselves but people who are gullible and worthy have such low self-esteem. There is something really flawed in the system that twists the tales around to give importance to the predator than to the prey.

Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter. ~African proverb