The Secret to Looking 10x More Beautiful

Sisi: Hi, Jess! Are you home?

Me: Yea, watsup gal?

Sisi: I need help. I'm starting my new job on Monday, and my anxiety is killing me. I look ugly. I don't have anything to wear. I don't know what's wrong or where to begin. I don't think I can do this. I feel weak, disoriented, and unbelievably obnoxious. I think I'm losing it. I'm don't think good enough right now. This is not a good time to show myself out there. I think I will reject this job offer. I feel…

Me: What? Alright! Hold up, babe. You want to do what? C'mon, You have been searching for an opportunity like this… Okay! First things first, you gotta report to work on Monday. It's your first day. Wear a corporate outfit and leave your hair straight. You don't need to look fancy….

Sisi: {cuts in} It's not that simple.

Me: Yes, it is. You just have to look confident even if you don't feel like it.

Sisi: You won't understand. {drops the call}

Me: Wait! Hmmmm

Well, she was wrong. I do understand the pressure and anxiety of starting a new job. But she was also right. I didn't understand why she had to feel unworthy over a job she had been praying for.

I ended up going over to her place, and we had a very, very, very long chat. My friend was in a dilemma. Either she magically transforms into a princess before Monday, or she is a no-show.

First off, she's not even ugly. She is brown-skinned, very smart, and sexy if the curves count. She is an attractive woman - a jolly homely small-town girl who doesn't even bother anyone. I don't see anything in her that could have made her feel unworthy.

This is what motivated me to write this piece. We have been taught to tie beauty to our values.

We struggle to accept how we look and how we feel because society has engrained a specific idea of what beauty is in our heads.

Women are constantly reminded of how not beautiful we are. All because we don't look like, talk, or act like the models in the media.

Magazines and beauty ads describe the ideal image of beauty to be fair-skinned, tall, thin with long hair. This definition of beauty creates unrealistic expectations.

Women and girls grow up with the idea that they are not really beautiful. That they have to live up to these expectations to feel beautiful.

When they don't, they start to feel ugly and uncomfortable in their own skin.

And the crazy thing is that these models don't achieve this level of beauty without a team of stylists, beauticians, dietitians, fitness trainers, photographers, and of course, Photoshop.

In reality, every woman is gorgeous regardless of her color, height, and body size. We all have something amazing inside that no one else has.

How do you know you are beautiful?

It's frustrating how we look at attractiveness from a singular lens. We think for a woman to be beautiful, she has to be thin, fair, and young as if beauty doesn't come in any other form.

And if you do not fall in the category of the ideal image of beauty, you feel uncomfortable with your looks and start to feel you need to change or fix yourself to look beautiful.

For centuries, women have been taught that our values are directly linked to our looks, our ability to get married, our ability to have children.

And even today, women are building business and taking over the world, we are still relegated to think that our beauty makes us valuable.

You need to stop thinking you are not beautiful because you are.

Beauty is more than a physical appearance. What defines beauty is your personality and your attitude.

Someone could be perfectly attractive on the outside, yet they are the most shallow and mean person you could ever meet.

Beauty is not just the beautiful face or beautiful looks. Your personality plays a bigger role in capturing people's hearts.

That's why you see love fade when a good personality isn't there to make the physical attraction strong.

How to look more attractive

The most attractive people are the ones who know that their physical appearance is not the most attractive thing about them.

They have a certain kind of confidence, they are usually more fun to hang out with, and they are the kind of people who are ready to love you for who you are.

Here are five simple ways to look more attractive than usual

Be goal-driven

People who love what they do are always attractive. Their enthusiasm shows their passion for life, people, and everything they believe in. That positive energy and motivation are two of the most important parts of developing a more attractive and charismatic personality.

Be humorous

Over-serious people can be very annoying. People who can laugh at themselves, make others laugh, and find humor in other people's jokes are generally relaxed, friendly, and outgoing people. And that's an attractive quality to have.

Be confident

Everyone respects a person with confidence because, with it, you are basically investing your heart and soul into something you feel passionately about. If you want people to listen to what you have to say, you must exude confidence and engage them in your conversation.

Be generous

People who are considered generous are more attractive, and people who are more attractive are more generous. The positive effects of giving can generally increase the giver's happiness, confidence, and even their physical health.

Be charismatic

We are attracted to confident, positive, and nice people because they immediately put us at ease. True charisma comes from the heart. You can't fake it. Your charisma should come from a place of assurance and serenity.

Parting words

Now, you got this. Go be confident. Be self-assured. Put your hats down and go be the woman who gets head turned, and hearts melted.

Your beauty glows because it is true, pure, and unfiltered. It's so important to be yourself when getting to know someone, and don't be afraid to speak your mind when you need to.

About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

Connect with me on Linkedin, Twitter, and Quora.

This article was published here.