The Life I Lived Before You (Chapter 2)
Chapter 2, Mentions and talks of rape, read at your own risk!
A couple days after she had taken the pregnancy test her dad ended up finding it behind the toilet when he washed himself off. He put it in the way back in his sock drawer as a trophy because his plan had finally come into play. He had lightened up on the abuse and it appears because she was pregnant that he had maybe fallen in love with her. It wasn’t painful for her and she could now feel the passion while they made love. She and her father had talked it out and knew they lies that they would say to her mother. He had taken her to two doctors’ appointments and she took her prenatal regularly in front of her father to make him happy.
Four months have now gone by since then and it was finally summer break. Her belly was starting to show so she decided it was time for a new look. Baggy clothes seem to be the new thing Sam thought. She asked her mom the week before if she would take her to get a new look. She was tired at how tight her clothes had become. Her mother knocks on her door.
“One-minute mom! Let me get dressed.” While laying down she feels around for a shirt. She wasn’t expecting her mother to want to go shopping at 8 AM. She had put black out curtains up, so her room stayed dark longer on the weekends.
“Sweetie, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I’m coming in.”
“No don’t, Mom. I need privacy now. I’m 15 now, you can’t just barge in anymore.”
“It’s not like you’re in here having sex.” Her mom opens the door.
Sam makes sure her back is turned while she struggles to put her shirt on. “Mom, come on.”
“Why is this shirt so tight fitting? Didn’t we just buy this for you two months ago?” She starts walking towards her.
Sam stands up and tries harder to cover the small baby bump. “God damn it, go on!” Sam starts crying taking the shirt off and walking to the wardrobe in front of her and finds a bigger t-shirt she borrowed from her boyfriend. “There, I think that shirt must have shrunk a bit from when we washed it.” She turns around and smiles at her mom. “Ready?”
“Sam don’t act like I didn’t see. When did you start gaining weight? You have been doing so well making sure you didn’t and stayed the ‘ideal weight’ you and Neisa figured were perfect for you guys. Are you doing ok? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“Mom… I guess I can’t hide this forever.”
“ARE YOU PREGNANT?!” Her mom gets furious.
“Yes, Mom… I guess I’m not so perfect huh?! Seems like I’m not your perfect daughter anymore!? Sorry, I’m such a whore, Mom!” Sam starts crying.
“Whose is it? Have you seen the doctor? How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Her mother’s face is red.
Her father enters. He had overheard from the other room while he was getting ready to go to work. “What’s going on in here? What’s with all the yelling?”
Her mom is now also crying “Our fucking daughter is pregnant!”
He looks at Sam. Sam is now on her knees crying. “Are you kidding me, Sam. How could you be such a whore?! You know better! Do you even know who the father is?!” He is angry, not by the fact that she was pregnant but because her mother found out sooner then he wanted.
“I’M SORRY, OKAY?!” Sam gets up and runs to the bathroom and shuts the door.
“I’ll handle this. You go get ready to go,” he says. He kisses her lips as she heads out to go get ready and he knocks on the bathroom door. “Lover, you ok? Let me in.”
She opens the door and he comes in, shuts the door behind him, locks it, and sits down next to her on the floor. He holds her close. “I’m sorry, Dad. I told her not to come in. She saw the bump while I was trying to get dressed. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I had to make it seem real.” He lifts her head up and kisses her. “You did great.”
“That’s ok. I should probably fix myself up and go so I don’t keep her waiting too long. You need to get ready for work too.” She gets up and starts to wipe her eyes with a makeup wipe and starts applying new eyeliner and eye shadow.
“Okay.” He gets up and they head out the door together.
Sam finds her mom waiting for her by the door. They head to the car, get in, her mom pulls out of the driveway and heads for the mall. “To answer your question, it’s my boyfriend's from school. We’ve been together for a couple years now. He has been taking me to doctors’ appointments.” She rolls down her window.
“Well, I think it’s time for us to meet this boyfriend of yours.”
“I can have him meet us at the mall. He’s been dying to meet you.” She pulls out her phone and checks the time.
“No, I want your father to be there when we meet him. We would also like to meet his family too.”
“Oh ok. When did you want to meet them then?” She was hoping that she could just have her mom meet him and not have the abuse get worse after her father meets another guy in her life.
“Why not have him over for dinner tonight?”
“Ok and I’ll call him now and see what he says.” She dials and with one ring he answers.
“Hey, baby. I was wondering when you were going to call. What’s up?” His voice sounds cheerful on the other line.
“Hey, Michael. So, my mom found out I’m pregnant and would like to meet the father of their grandchild. Can you come to dinner tonight with the family…? I’m sure they everyone would want to meet everyone.”
“I can ask them. They’ve been dying to meet you and your family. I will text you in a bit with their answer. I love you.”
“I love you too. I got to go though, baby. My mom is taking me shopping for some clothes that fit. I can’t wait to see you possibly. Bye.”
“Okay. I can’t either I miss you. Bye.” Sam shuts her phone and puts it back in her pocket.
“What did he say, honey?”
“He said he would ask his parents and text me later about it.” Sam rests her arm out the window.
A few hours pass, and Sam and her mom are back at the house. Sam goes and puts the ten unnecessary bags of clothes on her bed. She takes all the clothes out of the wardrobe that are getting to small for her. Her mom brings her a couple garbage bags and some hangers to store the now unusable clothes in her unused closet. She puts the clothes all on hangers and pokes holes in the garbage bag to keep the clothes nice while hanging up in her closet.
She sits down are her bed and puts her new shirts on hangers, folds her new pants, folds her new undies, and puts them all in her wardrobe. She goes over to her bed and lays down and closes her eyes and within in seconds, her phone is ringing. She picks it up and looks at it and smiles when she sees Michaels face pop up.
“Hello!” she answers excitedly.
“Hey, love. You sound excited.”
“I am. I’ve really missed your voice and our conversation was way too short earlier.”
“I’ve missed you too. So, I talked to my mom and dad. They want to know when dinner will be ready by and should we show up early?”
“Yes, early and we usually eat dinner by 6 PM.”
“Okay, well I guess I will see you then. I will let you go, you are probably busy.”
“No, I’m not. I was just laying down when you called. I am a bit tired though so, maybe I’ll take a nap before I must suffer through dinner. I love you, Michael.”
“I love you too, beautiful. I see you soon. Sleep well.” They both hang up the phone.
Sam looks at the clock. It was 2:27 PM. Michael will be here in a few hours she thought. She sets an alarm for 4 PM. She closes her eyes and drifts off.
At 4:30 her mom comes in and wakes her up.
“Honey, your alarm has been going for 30 minutes.” She shakes her. “Come on, get up.”
Sam sits up on her bed wide awake. “Wh-what? Why didn’t I hear my alarm? Oh my gosh, Michael will be here at any minute.” She shuts off the alarm clock and fixes her hair and redoes her makeup. She quickly throws on the cute pink tank top blouse with a bow around the belly they got hours before. Looking in the mirror, the blouse perfectly outlined the little baby bump that was just beginning to show. Sam rubs her tummy before she leaves the room.
“Sam, you look so pretty. You didn’t let me see how beautiful you looked in them when you tried them on.” Her mother says as she walks into the living room.
“Thanks, Mom.” Sam places her hand on her arm, hiding the bump.
“You spread open your legs and got pregnant don’t hide it. If you’re so happy to be with this guy, be proud of it. You knew the consequences,” her father chimed in.
Sam’s face got red from anger. "You’re the reason we are in this mess, asshole. Couldn’t be more fucking careful," Sam thought to herself." I didn’t want to be in this mess." Sam uncrosses her arm and sits down on the couch next to her mom. She stares at the clock. The room had now fallen silent and all that could be heard was the hands ticking and screaming at her that she still had about twenty minutes left before she could see Michael and the awkwardness that was this silence could turn into something even more horrible.
“He does know your pregnant, right? Like this isn’t some guy you found and he’s going to be just finding out too.” Her father finally spoke up after the minute of silence.
“Yea, he knows. He was the second person I told about my pregnancy and.” She gets interrupted by the doorbell. “I better get that.” Sam gets up and walks over to the door. Her parents follow behind her as she opens the door. “Hey, my love! It’s so nice to see you!” She hugs him shaking then gives him a kiss on the lips. She pulls away, shyly smiling. “Please come in!” Her father puts his hand on her shoulder. Sam tenses up. She was worried that Michael would find out about who really raped her. She didn’t want him to think differently of her.
“Welcome to our home. We are happy to have you,” her father says, removing his hand.
Michael is the first to notice something isn’t right with Sam. It was different than her care free nature that she showed off at school. He saw her hands trembling like she was afraid of something. He decided to leave that for a conversation for them to talk about later. He proceeds, “Wow Sam, you look stunning.” He rubs her belly. “Can’t forget this little one.” He looks at Sam and smiles. He soon starts to realize that she won’t return he smile and then kisses her on the lips then pulls away and keeps walks into the house a bit. He stops at her father and gives him a firm handshake, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cushman and you.” He picks up her mother’s hand and kisses it. “Mrs. Cushman.” He steps to the side allowing his parents to come in also. Michael notices Sam joining her mother’s side and grabbing her arm looking down.
“Sam,” her father’s voice echoes the room, “what did I tell you?”
Sam jumps, “Sorry.” Sam lowers her hand back down to her side, not making eye contact. “I’ll be right back.” Sam heads for her room closes the door and goes into the bathroom locks it behind her and she sits on the toilet and starts crying.
“I’m going to go chec...” Michael speaks up.
“No, I’ll go,” Sam’s father interrupts. He heads back to Sam’s room and knocks on the door. He knocks on the door. “Lover open up,” he says softly. “Are you crying?” Michael on the way to the bathroom overhears talking, looks back at everyone and sees everyone else still chatting, and walks close to her door to listen in.
“I-I was throwing up.” Her voice shaking.
“You can relax a bit ok? I know you're tense but you just have to do what you've got to, to make your mom believe it’s hism right?”
“Ye-yeah,” she replies.
“So just act less like I’m going to beat you and more like he’s the one okay?”
“Okay dad, I’m sorry.”
“Now, quit crying. You’re going to upset my baby. I’m going to head back, make sure you clean yourself up.” He starts walking towards the door and Michael quickly goes to the bathroom and quietly shuts the door quietly behind him. He flushes and walks out the same time her dad passes by the bathroom. “Hey son, so when are you going to marry my daughter?” He wraps his arm around the back of his neck as they walk.
“I-I’m unsure, sir. When we for sure know we want to spend forever together. I don’t want to rush into it just because we’re pregnant.” Michael finally knew why Sam was so jumpy. He didn't blame her. He looks back towards her room. “Is she doing okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. Just a little morning sickness.” He puts his arm down as they join up with everyone else. “It seems we haven’t been introduced. I’m Carter and this is my wife, Julie.” He smiles. “And the one who went back to her room really fast is my daughter Sam.”
“I’m Paul and this is Elizabeth.” They all exchange handshakes. “And this here is my son, Michael.”
Michael keeps an eye out for Sam. Once he sees her, she walks up and stands next to her mother. She smiles at everyone. “Sorry about earlier, I wasn’t feeling well. Should we all go sit down in the living room until dinner is done?” She takes Michael’s hand and wraps it around her as she wraps her arm around his waist, rubbing it in a figure 8 while they walked, which was their symbol of we will talk later queue. They sit down in the love seat, snuggling.
“So, Michael. Have you found a job yet?”
“Yeah, I have. I have been working in my dad’s mechanic shop.”
“It’s great having an extra set of hands since my best mechanic passed away. He’s a great boy who’s super hardworking.”
“I plan on getting a job for the summer and into school and continuing up again after the baby is born. So, he won’t be the only one paying for things.”
“That’s good you guys have a plan for the future. Have you guys decided on your living situation?” her father says slyly.
“We were going to save up a bit of money before getting an apartment before the baby was here,” Michael responds slyly back.
“Do you guys know the gender yet?” Elizabeth asks.
“No, not yet. We are having the gender ultrasound next week though and I can’t wait to find out the gender,” Sam responds cheerfully. It was the only thing she looked forward to the whole pregnancy.
“I should go continue the dinner before I end up burning it. Then everyone would go hungry.” Sam’s mother gets up to go cook in the kitchen.
“Do you need my help, Mom?” Sam asks hoping for a way out of sitting in between the love of her life and the father of her baby.
“Sure, baby. I feel like if you keep this up you will be a better cook than me.” Her mother chuckles.
The awkward conversations seemed to go on forever when they sat down to finally eat dinner. Sam felt like she was starving having only eaten the pretzel at the mall. She was happy to finally to have something in her stomach.
After everyone had gone Sam finally laid down in her bed on her side and look at the clock and 8:25 seemed to just scream at her in the darkness. She rolled over onto her back looking straight ahead. She finally grabs her phone to see if Michael had messaged. "Maybe I should text him first," she thinks to herself. She then hears a knock on her door.
“Come in!” Sam says.
Her mom walks in and sits beside Sam on the bed. “Hey, sweetie. So, I just wanted to come in and let you know that I pick up a shift tonight. Your younger siblings are with grandma and the other ones are with their friends tonight. I love you, baby girl, and I am so glad you have all your shit figured out. I can tell you that when I had your older brother at 16, I had no idea what we were going to do. I was terrified and had no plan ahead of me. I met your father after I had had Ricky. Times were so had then he found me when I had nothing else. You may be my middle child, but you are me most well behaved and the one I never had to worry about. You always went above and beyond what I expected and I’m glad for that, but it seems like I maybe put too much on you. When you told me you were pregnant, my first reaction was to yell and get pissed and I shouldn’t have. I was just hoping you would be better than I was at your age.” Her mom hugs Sam, crying. “I am so thankful for you.”
Sam also crying hugs her mother back. “I love you, Mama.” Sam’s phone starts to ring. “I should probably get that. It's Michael. We needed to talk. “
“Okay honey.” She kisses her head. “I will see you in the morning.” She leaves.
Sam answers the phone, “Hey handsome. I missed you”
“I missed you too beautiful. So, I had a question.”
“Okay, what’s up?” She lays on her back.
Michael's voice starts shaking, “I-I don’t really know how to say this. I will start with; Sam, I love you more than anything and you are absolutely my everything but...”
Sam interrupts. “A-are you breaking up with me?” Sam starts to cry.
“No, no baby I would never. I told you I was here forever, and I plan to keep this promise, but I am unsure how you will react to my question, so I-I guess I will just go ahead and say it. I-is your dad raping you? I-is the baby his?”
Sam drops her phone beside her, places her hands over her eyes, and starts sobbing on her bed.
“Sam, are you there. Are you okay?!” Michael yells but Sam can’t hear it.
Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. “Sam, I heard you crying. Are you ok?”
Sam checks to see if Michael is still on the line then whispers, “Don’t say anything and please, please, please don’t call anyone.” Then quickly slides her phone face down under her pillow. “Yeah, Dad. It’s just these hormones you know?”
“Can I come in? Maybe I can make things better?”
“Ye-Yeah. Come in.” Sam starts to wipe her tears away.
He opens the door and shuts it behind him then walks and sits next to Sam who is laying on her back. “I see your mom took an extra shift at work tonight. I’m ready for some fun if you are?”
“I’m not really up for it tonight. It’s been a long day and my emotions are shot… Can’t we just do this another night? I need a break.”
He father's face gets angry, “Listen here, slut. I fucking own you now. I wasn’t giving you a choice. You will either let me fuck you or I’ll make you regret what you just said!”
“But our baby might die if you do this! Please don’t!”
“What, did you actually fall for that shitty kid over me!? I can give you what you need, and I can do it so much better then he can!” He forces himself on her and soon she loses all control of who she is.
He soon finishes and gets up and starts to get dressed. “Do I need to remind you if anyone finds out about this, your mom and younger siblings will have a hard life. When you move in with this so-called boyfriend, expect me when you're off. If you don’t give me your work schedule and you're ever not home I will do the same thing to the twins. Now quit crying and go to bed. You aren’t bleeding that bad.” He puts his shirt on and leaves the room.
Sam quickly grabs her phone and whispers, “Does that answer your question?” her voice shaking. “Michael I’m so scared. What do I do?” A short pause. “Baby, you there?”
“I’m sorry I failed you so bad, baby. I just want to just get you away from this situation. We need a plan and that plan is going down to the police department and charging him with rape.”
“But what about my siblings, Michael?”
“We have all the proof we need. He won’t be out for a long time. We will figure this out. I promise.”
“Okay, so tomorrow we will go to the police.”