The Blueprint - Women Who Inspire

My mind was like "wait, is this just one woman, because then this just got a lot more difficult."

When my mind heard about a competition that involved women who inspire, it immediately started sprinting through all of the women in my life. Then, it started to sift through the women that might allow me to win this competition; "who is the woman that no judge could ever deny?" it said.

Then, something in me, some greater wisdom started to speak and suggested that I take my time to think about who these women are that inspire me.

For the past 5 days, I have done everything but. :)

My mind was so busy avoiding the topic, because I feared that I might not ever find the perfect set of women that inspire me, therefore this might never finish, and if it does, it may never finish well. So I avoided it until this very moment on this last day. Now, as I speak this aloud, I am faced with having to actually consciously decide who the women are that inspire me.

(I ended up in 31 minutes of deep reflection about the women who inspire me, so if time is not of the essence, skip to the subheader "If all else fails, this is a must read :)"

In the Damndest of Places

This might sound strange, but the first woman I have to thank is Cora.

Cora happens to be an 8-month old kitten.

Cora teaches me, every day, to slow down. Sometimes when my mind is running and I am listening to everything but her silent advice, somehow I remind myself to pay attention. I have learned one of the greatest things that I could've ever learned, which was unconditional love. I think we all know the relationships that dogs have with their owners. Dogs are usually called a best friend and cats, a roommate. Sometimes we wonder whether they take advantage of us, or if they're even aware of what we're saying or thinking? If they're bored or lonely or dream of leaving the house?

I realize that those are terms, actions and feelings deemed so by us. So who am I to think that the same rules apply to them? So now that things have slowed down, I realize that cats are good, that they're at peace and that is something I don't experience often when my mind races or when I feel a bit more anxious. Sometimes I don't know how to feel normal.

Cora showed me, from the time she walked into my house with built confidence after being a stray cat found in the rain, that you have a place anywhere you go so long as you remember and you know who you are, that you can choose to be confident and that eventually love will win, but most significantly, how to love... how to love the people you're with and the life you've been given.

To know that, to love, you don't have to try.

Now, for the human beings.

It's so difficult to only talk about a few women, I guess I would just have to say that women, in general, inspire me. People, in general, inspire me, but women inspire me because they do it with purpose and with a natural understanding, care and gentleness. Even when a women is at her last and she is damaged and damaging, she holds on and it's not often her forever. Women persevere with love. Women aren't afraid to be sappy and sentimental. They do what's necessary to stand up for those that they love and to provide and give to those that they love and those that they don't know, but still love. Women just try.

So I have to thank everyone from Oprah Winfrey, Priyanka Chopra, Krista Tippett, Viola Davis and Madame C.J. Walker to Ella Fitzerald, Beyoncé, Nina Simone and many many more.

Because they did the work and are doing the work to unfold as authentic versions of themselves so that they can give that same glory to the rest of the world. They show me that where you start doesn't have to be the end of your story and that one day, I am now 22, I will get to be the woman that I want to be just because I'm walking down that path and doing the work. They show that loving themselves and loving others is effort-fully effortless.

Now, I have to reflect on the women in my life including my mom, Jenielle, my grandma, Evelyn and my sisters, Tianna, Natasha and Katherine, because they have always been the most honest with me. I think I've learned most of my struggles in the years spent with my mom, grandma and sister. I've learned what I hated and I learned what I hated most about myself, but I also learned how to be strong-willed and loving, and how to keep it pushing. Only now, in reflection, do I realize that they've inspired me so deeply. I've heard them say the most hateful things about themselves, but I've seen them pick themselves up constantly. I don't know, I really appreciate them allowing me to become familiar with struggle because they eventually allowed me to become familiar with redemption.

I have to thank all of my best-friends, Selena, Katia, and Allysson, because they ARE love. They are on this ride with me. That alone shows me that I am never alone and that you can be loved as you are now. They show me that we are all the same, because they remind me that we are not cut from the same cloth, but are still more than family. They teach me how to uplift myself, because I can be critical of myself, just as they can, but we uplift anyway. Without their grace I don't think I would've learned to love some of the parts of me that I love now. They inspire me to not judge and they inspire me to make friends because sometimes I can feel a bit socially awkward due to the thoughts that may pop up in my mind. They teach me to smile and to be grateful.

The little girls inspire me because they remind me to stay youthful and vibrant. To never let go of my inner child, to heal her wounds, but never let go. Finally, they inspire me to be proud. Nothing beats the shrill of a young girl screaming "I'm awesome!" It's amazing.

************************If all else fails, this is a must read:

I read several of your essays in the submissions and I think you guys inspired me the most. Because every time I opted out of doing this and I thought "Ah, there's too many people doing this, my chances are too slim," I would read your essays and realize how imperfectly perfect they were. They reminded me that I am also imperfectly perfect. I have this complex of wanting to "get it right" and wanting to have it perfect, even though I know that I love all of the things that are different in this world. I was reading your essays and they filled me with so much, because they taught me to just do it. You inspired me to just do it, to just do it. To humble myself and know that I am equal to every other woman doing this, so do it. I'm not better nor worse; just do it. So that's pretty awesome.

Finally, I have to thank myself. I started thinking... "man, girl, should you do it? should you do it? should you do it?", "is it heada*s? is it cliché? is it cocky?"

But then I said "f*ck it."

Because I am the number one person that has exerted pressure on me, from the time I was a little girl, from the time I entered school and something taught me what it meant to BE THE BEST. Once that idea of perfection planted itself in my mind, the expectation kicked in and I find that I am now unlearning years and years of putting pressure on myself. My soul said "slow your roll, girl. No need to put all of this pressure on yourself. Life is so sweet already, like, it's amazing. Love every single thing you have now." Looking around my bedroom now, I am so in awe. It's so me. I love it. I'm not trying to be anyone else. AH.

So I gotta thank her, because she has this spirit inside that refuses to die and refuses to accept mediocrity. Only now do I realize that mediocrity is a mindset, before it seemed to be an inevitable reality. It feels wonderful to have color in this world.

In a nutshell, I have to thank myself, because meeting her has been dope and I see that she is wonderful and everyday she does the work and everyday she tries again, and sometimes she doesn't get far until she looks back and realizes that she's already circled a quarter of the globe. I've circled a quarter of the globe. I have many wins and have made many strides and.. I'm just me... I just am... and I'm really dope. I'm very creative, I'm beautiful, relentless, passionate, an encourager and a lover. A learner, observer and evolver. That is why I inspire me. Because without even realizing it and without much credit, I work my ass off just because I want it. And every time I cry in the face of failure, I get up again the next day and I try again. I'm currently cringing as I say this, but I refuse to leave me behind.

I wouldn't be able to do any of this without having shown up in every single moment, but I also wouldn't have been able to do it without every single women that I have crossed paths with, whether virtually or in person, in my 22 years of life who have taught me at least one thing by simply being themselves.

Whether it be to love or whether it be to persevere.

I am getting closer, I can feel it... to knowing who I am.

Thank you for being the blueprint.

(Thank you to the creators of this competition for your creation. It really allowed me to deeply reflect introspectively, but most astonishingly, outwardly as well. It feels wonderful to pay tribute to and to give love and thanks to so many others. So thank you for this. I am not sure that I would've reflected on this without you all. This was WONDERFUL.)