Table for One, Please

When I was 16, you would not have caught me dead sitting in a restaurant booth by myself without a friend or someone else sitting across from me.

I would see an older man or woman occupying only one movie theatre seat, with every other chair in the row empty, and feel sorry for them because they were by themselves, while I was in a pack of seven teenage girls.

On Friday nights I used my Snapchat story to obnoxious parade that I was at a party, or a football game, or on a date– and I had pity for everyone else who was at home by themselves, enjoying what I considered to be a, “boring, lonely night.”

Because I would have never dared been, “That girl in the booth by herself,” I honestly thought that going out alone meant that you did not have any other option.

Now, a few years later, as I sit comfy and happily in an armchair at Dunkin’ Donuts by myself at 12 PM on a Wednesday (still salty that they got rid of the Girl Scout coffee flavors), I know that that is not the case.

Going out alone means you do not have to depend on others to have a good time. The ability to go out to eat or see a movie without a crowd of people surrounding you implies that you know, no matter where you are going or what you are doing, you are going to enjoy yourself. It is the recognition that your thoughts, experiences, and words are worthy of sharing because you’re sharing them with yourself. Suddenly, going out is no longer about other people seeing you have fun, but actually having fun.

Going out alone means you are conscious of and catering to your own schedule, needs, and circumstances. Sometimes, homework and studying must be done, even if all your friends are too busy to go to the library with you. Sometimes your to-do list seems never-ending, and no one is available to run errands with you. When you are able to accomplish the things you want and need to do with or without the companionship of others, you are putting those needs above the fear of being alone. You are saying, “It does not matter what everyone else is doing; I am doing this.”

Going out alone means the entire experience is your own. Hungry? You get to decide where to eat. Road trip? You get to pick the music. Frustrated and stressed out? You don’t have fake a smile and laughter over dinner. Have emails you need to respond to? You won’t feel rude for being on your phone. When you have a night to yourself, all the pressure and stress of planning for and entertaining a huge group of people vanishes. You are bound to have a great time if the only person whose interests and wants you’re abiding by are your own.

Going out alone often means you see yourself change, grow, and mature. You will notice how your interests change from month to month, and from year to year. You will start to become increasingly aware of what is important to you because that is where you’re investing your time with yourself. Spending time alone is a beautiful way to realize how, why, and when your priorities, passions, and ideas change.

A woman who knows what she brings to the table is not afraid to eat alone.

Going out with friends is still and always will be something I love to do and look forward to. Only now, I am mindful of my ability to enjoy a night with myself just as much as a night with others.

I wish someone would have told me this when I was a junior in high school, unable to step foot into a Cracker Barrel or movie theatre by myself. I was selling myself so short, believing that the only way to enjoy a Friday night was to spend it with a group of other people. Did I really have no clue how much fun I was?

DISCLAIMER:

I still refuse to go to scary movies by myself. Maybe one day.