Struggles of a New Mom

In the Beginning

At first pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks. This new information caused feelings and emotions to crash over me like a tidal wave. All the sudden I was going to be a mom. I was nervous, scared, excited, happy and feeling guilty all at once.

Guilty because at 32 it was not the plan to get pregnant. Nevertheless, this little bundle of joy was here and in 9 months I would hold my child in my arms. I was becoming a parent a lot sooner than I expected, but my husband and I banded together to face this new part of our lives that was coming quickly upon us.

I was really sick during my pregnancy, so I automatically assumed it was a girl because in my family girl's usually cause more stomach upset. 9 difficult months later my wonderful, handsome, beautiful son was born and since that day when I looked into his eyes, I knew that he was the gift we'd always wanted. We just got him a smidge early.

Dear, Sweet Little Matthew,

I'm your mommy. I can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms. You are my sweetest gift and I am blessed to have you. Soon we will see each other for the first time and you'll probably cry and have a fit because this world you're coming into can be cold. However, afterwards you and I will be best friends and I will always protect you. You will read this small paragraph someday and know that my love for you knows no bounds. You mean the most to me of anything in this world.

Those are words I wrote in my son's baby book, one that catalogs from your first trimester to their 18th year. As a writer I wanted to be able to tell him cute stories about when he was little. His first fourth of July, Christmas and Thanksgiving. He was born in March, he will be 7-months old near fall and will be able to enjoy some of the foods we have during thanksgiving. Albiet blander versions, but still.

Having him has brought a new meaning to my life I didn't know I could have. It isn't without it's struggles though, so let's talk about a few of them.

Problem #1: ZERO sleep

I know not every baby is the same and where my son has difficulties, he also had some wonderful improvments. When he was a newborn he was up nursing every two hours. He was a 6lb baby so he was a tiny little thing. Even newborn pajamas were small on him at first. Before he got his legs anyway.

His constant need to nurse every two hours meant my husband and I were trading shifts to get up to feed him. With my husband working it meant that he was helping usually during the late night feedings. I was sleeping four hours at night while he was doing the feedings and then I was getting up and doing feedings early in the morning. My mom came and helped us a couple of nights a week so we could get a full nights sleep. That was the toughest part of his newborn weeks.

He's three months old now and he sleeps great through the night, but he relies on a routine. It took awhile to find a routine that worked for him. Here is a short breakdown of his routine through the day:

• Wake Up (7am/8am/8:30am) Time Varies from day to day
• Change Diaper and Take out of Sleep Sack
• Go Into Kitchen grab a small snack (for Me)
• Sit in Nursery and Nurse/Sleep for around 2 hours
• Around 10am/11am I make breakfast Baby sits in Bouncer or Jumper and watches Baby Einstein/plays/bounces
• 12pm go back into Nursery and Nurse/Sleep while I eat
• 2pm-3pm Tummy time, playtime, discovery and sensory play.
• 3pm-4pm Self Play with check ins every 10-15 minutes
• 5pm Mom Snack/ Baby Nurses/Sleeps
• 6pm Quiet Play, Self Play or Tummy Time
• 9pm Nurse/Sleep (I eat dinner during)
• 11pm Pass off/ He gets 6 ounce bottle and snuggles until 12am
• 12am Bedtime

My son sleeps while he nurses which is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Unfortunately, right now it means I can't take advantage of his naptimes because he's sitting with me and nursing. However, eventually I'm sure he will start napping on his own.

I try to do any active play during the daytime hours so we have calm and quiet at night. This means he gets all his wiggles out during the day. Thank goodness he sleeps through the night because I was seriously missing my sleep!

Problem 2#: Clingy and Picky Baby

I've learned through some hilarious moment's that babies/kids are like cats and dogs. You buy a shiny new toy and they are more interested in the box from whence it came. My little boy is so picky about toys! He won't "Amuse himself" with all the cute stuffy things, activity things, rattles, balls, interactive toys; no matter what if I lay him down he cries and cries until I finally come back and pick him up. So the problem arises as to what I should do. What I AM doing is putting him down, letting him cry for 10-15 minutes and wait for him to have a moment where he settles. If he doesn't settle in 10-15 minutes I go in and comfort him because I don't want him to get scared and think he's completely alone and defensless. Babies are hardwired to cry for protection. They have no way to survive unless their mom protects them. So I'm constantly trying to encourage him to be comfortable when alone, to play or explore while I'm gone. As he gets older it will get better. I just have to do things in 15 minute gaps for right now. I'm completely okay with that.

Being picky about toys is something else. I was warned fairly early that not all babies enjoy the same toys. Knowing that I didn't spend a whole lot initially on toys.

What I did buy:

• Baby Einstein 4-1 Kickin' Tunes Music and Language Discovery Activity Play Gym

• Baby Eintstein Neptune's Ocean Discovery Jumper

Our family was nice enough to gift us many different security blanket/plush toys including some special holiday ones. Of the ones we were gifted my son seems to like his horse ones best. His room is cowboy after all, so it's only fitting. The Baby Star Pony Snuggler Plush from Douglas that we bought from Amazon is currently his favorite. He also really likes Ferguson the Fox from Skip Hop's Bandanna Buddies. Other than those he hasn't shown interest in anything else. He will only play and explore when I do it with him. I just recently purchased another product by Douglas, their Baby Star Pony Teether Plush seemed like something my son would really like and it gave him something to chew on while he was teething. Aside from being ADORABLE, these cute little plush's are really good quality and super soft. They are a perfect size to pack around and make good little cuddlers. I would not advise leaving these in the carseat with your baby unattended though since they are plushies. If someone is riding in the back seat they are fine to use.

It doesn't really matter that he doesn't show interest in the other toys because he probably will later on and that's totally fine. He also doesn't really like Pacifiers. Even with encouragment he doesn't seem to enjoy them. He'd rather latch onto me for two hours. I haven't figured out how to not be a human pacifier, but I'm sure it will come to me.

Problem 3#: Baby Hygiene

I knew diapers were going to be a big spendature but I didn't know it would be THIS big. My son pees constantly which is a good thing it means he is well hydrated and getting enough nourishment. He hates being wet... understandable. I wouldn't want a soggy diaper attached to me either. However, it means that he is getting a diaper change almost every hour. That's a lot of hours! It also means we go through quite a few diapers. I'd rather go through many diapers though then have a baby who struggles with diaper rash.

In order to keep diaper rashes at bay I change his diaper whenever he is wet. He gets a bath three times a week and is fully dried before putting a new diaper on after a bath. I also apply AD Ointment after every bath and in between some diaper changes.

I use a little frida scrubber on his head and I comb oil gel through his hair after each bath and every morning so his head is nice and moisturized. Keeping him clean keeps him happy so I'm putting in the extra work to keep him super clean.

BabyHood

My son does many things that make me proud of him every single day. He smiles, laughs, reaches for toys, tries to hold his bottle, snuggles up close to me, gives my face kisses and hugs my neck. While he might be clingy and somewhat persnickity, he's the best thing to ever happen to me. As a new mom I'm constantly figuring out the new signals and cues he is giving and as he grows he makes me more and more proud. Am I tired? Heck yeah. However, as far as babies go my son is pretty darn great. His smile is worth so much to me.

I hate leaving him sometimes but it's important to get time to myself to do the things I want to do. That's why its a huge blessing that my mom comes over to help. He gets to spend time with her and I get to do some important things I need to do.

The first month is really hard and its when you need the most help. When they reach 2-3 months, usually things get a lot easier. Cherish your moments and don't worry too much about doing the right or wrong thing. As long as you're doing what you think is best for your baby, keeps them safe and healthy, and promotes a positive life; then that's all that matters.

Cherish these times, because when they become teens sometimes the snuggling fades and they start becoming their own person. They do come back though, it might be after college but eventually they come back.

Blessings to you and yours, and may you walk the road less traveled.