Pocket Universe

How many times would it be before Eva could tread down the bus steps without tripping over her own feet?

She suspected it wouldn’t be any time soon. The slicked rubber mats had no helpful effect on her incurable clumsiness. Relenting was not characteristic of Seattle rain, notorious for cloaking the city in an inescapable fog blanket. Eva could feel the raindrops running cold trails down her cheeks as she stumbled into the open air. She could only think of the circular timeline she lived life within. There hadn’t been a day in the past five years that felt any different from this one. Each day weighed heavier on her heart, which had started to feel like a solid chunk of lead occupying her chest.

Staring at the toe of her worn rubber boots, she noticed the etchings peering through the boggy water on the concrete. ES and TN. A wave of nostalgia crashed over her heart as she squatted down to observe the marks more closely.

That was it. That was the day before everything changed. She remembered stopping in front of the fresh concrete on that late July afternoon, basking in the rare warmth of the setting sun and drowning in the depths of Tanya’s eyes, the color of the earth and its quiet strength. Tanya’s slim fingers gripped a twig from an oak tree. Eva watched in silent awe as Tanya carved their initials deep into the wet cement. Tanya’s hair fell about her face and her nose scrunched. Eva always thought it was the most artistic sight she had ever seen: the curve of the bridge extending out from Tanya’s face like a proud mountain on a rolling landscape. Tanya rolled back on her heels, satisfied. Eva Sonderheim and Tanya Natarajan, forever immortalized on the streets they walked since they were tumbling toddlers.

Yes. That was it. The last time Eva could say she felt happy.

The day before Tanya ran.

Tanya’s parents were spirit magic practitioners. Eva never got much more information about what that truly meant, but she knew Tanya was from a race of peoples long forgotten by the majority of civilization. Something dangerous arrived and Tanya’s parents swept her up in a flurry, speaking of hiding and never returning.

Eva shook her head as though that would clear the memories of days long gone. She stood up slowly and pushed the wet hair from her forehead. She felt exhausted, somehow drained of the little energy she had left. The days since Tanya felt like a nightmare. She said she would come back for Eva someday, but that day was yet to come. Eva was living in a limbo between moving forward without the only one to set her heart ablaze or waiting forever for an angel who may never arrive again.

All traces of Tanya felt like they had been erased from Eva’s world. Speaking to her parents about her childhood best friend always felt like pawing through clouded water trying to find something she dropped. They would always come close, but as soon as they tried to recall Tanya’s name or face, they fell short.

Even the kids at school forgot Tanya after she left. Eva expected Tanya’s name to take at least a few months to fade from the minds of her classmates, but as soon as Tanya walked out the school doors for the last time, it felt as if she took everyone’s memories with her.

Everyone except Eva.

Eva snapped out of her trance when she crossed in front of the oak tree. She and Tanya would run circles around it in their youth, soaking up the summer days by making flower soup and picking the mushrooms that grew around the base of the tree. Now, the earth had been scuffed up, as though someone had been by with a shovel, looking for something deep underground. Eva felt her heart skip a beat. It couldn’t be.

How would Tanya be back for that they had buried? Why now of all times?

Eva’s feet took control as she slipped up her front porch and in through the front door. She rushed into the garage and grabbed her father’s gardening shovel. Eva tugged at the hood of her raincoat as she hurried back outside, feeling hot tears collecting in her eyes.

It had been five years since she and Tanya committed their promises to the ground where they had met. All of their precious trinkets lay inside an old shoe box in Eva’s front yard, labeled with their names and the date to be opened, ten years in the future.

So how could she be back for their capsule now?

This question ran through Eva’s mind as she plunged the shovel deep into the mud. She continued until she could feel sores rubbing into the palms of her hands, waiting for the shovel tip to hit the plastic lid she and Tanya had placed over their time capsule for protection. After digging for what felt like a lifetime, only moving a few feet of earth, her shovel struck something hard. She peered into the hole and reached down to remove the box from its resting spot.

Eva cast the plastic lid aside. The glitter on the box had faded, but the box itself was still intact. She threw open the capsule, expecting to see the talismans and crystals she and Tanya had pored over before burying it.

What she saw was something far different.

Inside the box were ten neat stacks of bound hundred-dollar bills. Eva counted around $20,000 of cash, upon which lay something even stranger: a small black notebook with softly glowing pages with “Pocket Universe” embossed into the leather cover. Eva took the book and leafed through the pages. She stopped when she reached the third page of the book.

It was unmistakable. The writing she saw could only belong to one person.

“Hi Eva,

If this reaches you, I want you to know that I have never forgotten about you. I found my way out of this world. If all goes well, this message will find you in the time capsule we buried all those years ago. I’ll have to thank my messenger for a job well done in catching your attention.

I’ve made a list of everything you’re going to need to find me. It’s not going to be an easy journey, but I promise you, I will be waiting for you at the end of your path. Without following all of the instructions in this book, you won’t be able to get to where I am trying to send you.

You must be ready to abandon your life here before you start looking for me. Once we are reunited, you won’t be able to return to this life ever again. I’ve left behind some cash for you to use to collect the things you’re going to need.

If you don’t want to follow the notebook, I’ll know that you are ready to move on with your life without me in it. That’s okay, I promise it is. I know coming back after five years with a cryptic message and a strange list of instructions doesn’t seem the proper precursor to a great reunion.

But I promise. If you follow these instructions, find me and I’ll make all your dreams come true.

Tanya.”

Eva dropped to her knees. There was no way. She had a way to find Tanya and escape the reality that had bound her for so many years? There was no chance she wouldn’t follow through with Tanya’s plan.

The list of instructions Tanya left behind was stranger than anything Eva had ever seen before. Eva would have to go forward and collect materials from different “practitioners” around the country. What that meant exactly, Eva didn’t know. But she knew she would find them and be with Tanya again.

Forever this time.

Time passed faster and slower than Eva could have imagined as she followed the instructions Tanya left behind. It took over three months for Eva to locate all twelve magic practitioners Tanya outlined in her message. All of them had asked Eva to sit down for a cup of tea, gently asking her questions about her quest and her goal. Every time she would answer, she could feel their subtle acceptance, and following the conversation they would entrust to her a small pouch of various crystals and pieces of earth to take forth to her final destination. The money Tanya left was meant for each practitioner, so Eva was left surviving on her threadbare wallet to fund her travels across the states.

At last, Eva was able to make the trudge into the deep Seattle forests with the pouches in her hands and her heart in her shoes. As she tripped over roots and moss patches, Eva could feel her mind running around a question that had lived in her head since she began her quest.

What if this doesn’t work?

She came upon a mirror gilded in gold surrounded by a ring of smooth stones. The mirror stood in the center of a small clearing. Small footprints extended out beyond the circle, but the grass was unindented within. Eva placed a pouch on each of the twelve stones and took her place in the center of the stone circle.

She brandished the pen she stowed in her boot and drew a five-pointed star in the center of her palm. Reaching towards the ground, she took a handful of dirt and compressed it into a small wet clump in her closed fist.

Eva took Tanya’s words to her heart and extended her soul to the mirror. When she read these instructions on the luminescent pages, none of it made sense to her. Now, the pieces of the puzzle that were missing seemed to fall into place. She could feel the energy rising up from the pouches around her, even though her eyes were closed. For some reason, she remembered talking to Tanya’s mother about the subtle uncertainties of spirit magic. All of a sudden, Eva felt she was enlightened; she could hear the spirits of the forest calling her forth. She was drawn forward until her fingertips grazed the smooth visage of the mirror. The feeling of glass was replaced by soft skin. Eva felt someone gently grasp her hand and pull her forward. She winced, expecting to collide with the cold mirror, but she instead stepped forward into a soft warmth and the sound of songbirds.

Eva opened her eyes, only for them to quickly fill with tears.

She couldn’t believe it. In her full glory, Tanya stood in front of her barefoot in a field of pink and yellow flowers, butterflies floating lazily above the delicate pollen clouds that stirred above the vibrant petals.

“Welcome to Nirvana, Eva. It’s our pocket universe.”