Period Smeriod...

I’m very protective about labeling myself so let me start by saying that I’m probably not a feminist... I am open to feminist exploration... I’m pretty sure that a feminist would have something good to say about their period. Here’s what I have to say: I got my period twice this month. I don’t remember the last time that’s ever happened. I feel “savage” when I’m on my period, like I’m out for blood (no pun intended).

I remember how offended I was and still am, in finding out that pregnancy is viewed as a “physical disability” in a corporate setting. I immediately thought to myself, a man had to be the one to ink that... My inner feminist immediately came to the fore. If pregnancy is a disability and pms is necessary to become pregnant, what does that make pms!?! A preexisting condition!?! Or maybe I just don’t want someone who doesn’t experience pms telling me that it’s a physical disability. Why on earth would something as natural as bringing life to fruition be regarded as a disability?

Back to my period which visited me twice this month... I’ve always said that pms symptoms are symptoms of pregnancy. Nausea, tender breasts, bloating, cravings, (mine are nachos, pickles, chocolate and donuts) not to mention the mood swings! Pregnancy brain too! I’m clouded, I drop things (like my bowl of rice all over my carpet yesterday)... Yea, it’s a thing... My thinking seems impaired while emotions and senses are fully engaged. Super power hormone effect, we need a Period Superhero...

I’m not supposed to get my period until the 4th or 5th, but it’s the 30th. Over the summer, my period would start 5 days earlier every month but never within the same month. I can be a bit of a hypochondriac at times so without going into too much detail, periods can come twice a month and here are some determining factors: I’ve ruled out spotting which could be a huge health concern, so here are some other reasons courtesy of healthline.com- anovulation (lack of ovulation) hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, onset of menopause, puberty, uterine fibroids or cysts, stress, extreme weight loss or gain, birth control, to name a few... “Some health conditions cause bleeding that can be mistaken for a period: PREGNANCY, STI, miscarriage.” I have a friend who didn’t know she was pregnant until she was 4 months because she still saw her period. I always think I’m pregnant on my period though so no need for alarm there. I last had unprotected sex 2 months ago! Oh my god, am I pregnant!?!

My pms “indicators” are usually emotional clarity, a straightforwardness, a poetic instinct and a desire for instant gratification which shows itself in spending money. Savage, I know... Some women go on the pill to make the hormonal changes more manageable. I double up on vitamin B and edibles. My first 2 days are brutal. Cramps and crying for the slightest things and everyone who knows me, knows that I’m not a cryer. I doubt that my family has ever seen me cry as an adult... My Aunt had a running joke that all the problems women have start with the word MEN- menstruation, menopause... That’s no mere accident... Oh no and a woman probably inked that one.

I don’t know what to think of my period coming twice this month. I don’t feel stressed... But then again I’m not a good determiner of my stress levels, I usually don’t realize how stressed out I am until I practically flatline. It has been a stressful year that’s about to end, so who knows? Maybe I am stressed. I’m trying to pay more attention to my breath and I must say, when I’m stressed I can feel the contractions in my stomach, then I remember to just breathe.

I’m surprised how vastly different periods are. If you put 5 women in a room together, I promise you each person would have a different period experience. Mine sticks around for 7 days. I’ve never been pregnant. I remember explaining to an ex once how I feel for 2 weeks out of the month because indicators of pms start a week prior and continue the week after... I was 22 back then and my period would get the best of me, mood-wise... My poor ex said to me with defeat in his voice, “you only feel like yourself for 1 week out of the month.” It was more of a realization and observatory statement, not a question. We broke up during that 1 week, I’m pretty sure of it. Pmsing is confusing enough for one person to figure out, I wanted to spare him in the process. My point is really... Who wants to have a period twice/month!?! If you know anyone who likes being on their period, I would like to meet this person!