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Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman’s Voice.

The subtle art of assertiveness.

By Melissa SteussyPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
Top Story - December 2021
Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman’s Voice.
Photo by Jens Lindner on Unsplash

What makes a woman’s voice sound empowered and less like a typical “Karen” wanting to speak with the manager?

I’ve been getting in trouble lately with my teenage son for emailing his teachers and administrators, even his basketball coach and director for things I am noticing that don’t sit well with me.

Mom, please stop emailing my teachers. They think they know you now.”

A woman’s voice needs to be heard. Many haven’t heard women speak up for themselves or their families and that is when the condescending comments can arise.

“Women are too emotional or hormonal.”Some think women should just sit back and look pretty, but we are here to say (or shout) no more.

So what makes us sound intelligent and dignified and less like we are complaining and overreacting or filled with “drama?”

I feel it’s important to speak our minds. I know many a woman who has been shut down in business meetings full of men. They now feel like they need to carefully construct everything they are about to speak.

In our day-to-day lives are we being made to feel we are irrational for discussing things that make us uncomfortable with our children’s school?

I think not.

Our children need advocates and in many cases, the primary caregiver is the mother. Yes, men are awesome at dadding, too, but for the sake of this article about women stick with me.

Speaking up in a well-thought-out email or meeting is powerful while holding on to our feelings of discomfort takes our power away.

If we are unsure if we are flying off the cusp so to speak, we can run it by a trusted friend or cohort. We can explain the situation and how we are feeling. Our first reaction may be anger. We may feel justified in being angry at what we feel is an injustice, but after talking about the situation we will gain more clarity and be able to reaffirm what we need to say to make our voices heard.

In a recent phone meeting with someone regarding an issue I was having I felt like I got thrown under the bus. Instead of listening to me, he started to gaslight me, and afterward, I realized I’d been manipulated into staying quiet.

He’d made me feel like I was lucky that I had even gotten this phone meeting and that what I saw couldn’t possibly be happening. I started to question myself and believe that I was possibly wrong. I started to minimize the validity of how I had originally felt.

The end of the conversation was more about us being lucky to be in that gentleman’s presence and me thanking him for explaining it to me. I thought, “I just need to toughen up and be less sensitive.”

No ladies, that’s not the case.

Our words hold value.

I remember learning about aggressive, assertive, and passive in college.

Here’s a refresher for anyone like me who may need it:

Assertiveness Table-Counselling Service France

We are ready to stop being dismissed and ready to be heard. We are no longer the submissive wives, mothers, and career women that were bred into us by the previous generations. We have a voice for a reason, most of us just need to find the courage to use it assertively.

“Assertiveness is an interpersonal skill in which you demonstrate the healthy confidence to stand up for yourself while still respecting the rights of others. When you are assertive, you are neither passive nor aggressive, but direct and honest. You don't expect other people to know what you want, so you speak up to ask for what you need calmly and with

Yes! Here's to being assertive in the new year! Not too much, not bitchy, not demanding, but using our voices, setting boundaries, protecting our energy, and speaking calmly while being direct. We can not be shut down.

We are women, hear us roar.


About the Creator

Melissa Steussy

Author of Let Your Privates Breathe-Breaking the Cycle of Addiction and Family Dysfunction. Available at The Black Hat Press:

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